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Rated: E · Article · Comedy · #2079606
Let me tell you about this exciting new promotion...
Now, I've had a TON of bad jobs but none have come so close to having me pulling hairs out of my scalp like being a "sales executive" has.

I was that guy in the parking lot of a mall who came up to you to demonstrate a product.

To take you back to the beginning, I had moved back home after university to live with my parents and was a couple of weeks into unemployment but was already receiving the snide remarks, the go-find-a job looks the comparisons with other people as to how they are moving ahead in life (unemployment can be a real bi...eh, witch). With the pressure at nuclear levels and my own desperation creeping in, I jumped at the first opportunity that came to light; a vacancy for a "sales executive". The pay looked good (when you are unemployed, ANY pay looks good) so I applied and was invited to the interview.

Long story short, I aced the interview and was told to come in the following day for training. I did find it odd that there was no mention of a contract but I blew it off. As I got to the office, I noticed that there were more interviews, which I found odd, but whatever. I met up with the guy who was supposed to train me and he vaguely explained what the job entails. I didn't really pay attention; I only wanted to get to work.

Whatever enthusiasm and motivation I had DIED when I went out for training. Firstly, the ad advertised a basic salary but it turns out that the basic salary is earned once you get to a certain level within the company. The pay for scrubs like me was based on a concept called "profit per share". In a nutshell, what it means is that out of every sale I made, I would only get a small percentage.

What was it I was supposed to be selling?

Car wash kit cans.

That wasn't even the issue for me. It turns out the company had BEEN selling the car wash kits at the SAME mall for YEARS.
I was that guy in the parking lot of a mall who came up to you with a cloth and a can to demonstrate the product.

The car guards LOOKED DOWN on us.

Let that sink in.

Other issues I had were that;

The hours were standard work hours if standard work hours were 14 hours long.

No days off. Even if the lord decided to take you on the day you were supposed to clock in, the management would insist on you working the entire day before the Lord could take you.

Management was expecting I Phone levels of profit on a daily basis. With car wash kits. After each day, they would sit us down about not meeting sales quotas and repeatedly tell us to do better.This would motivate employees as well as you would expect (Pro tip to management: criticizing and mocking your employees on a constant basis does not qualify as good motivational skills, money and freebies usually do the trick).

The customers were less than excited (pissed) whenever they saw me approaching so you could only imagine how many not-so-polite responses I got (which was understandable considering they were being pestered daily about a product they most likely already have {or don't need).

The product was not as effective as advertised, so by the off chance that hell froze over and I actually made a sale, the customer would know where to find me to vent about the product and demand a refund.

The shame of meeting people you know while holding THAT can and cloth is a fate I would not wish on anyone.

TL; DR: sales can be a real b*#ch.

All these issues played a huge role in my "resignation" after a grand total of six months.

Having gained the experience of working within sales, I have a new found respect to people who persist with it. It is certainly not a job for everyone.So the next time you meet a sales person, be polite to them. Lord knows they have already heard enough negative comments in a day than you have heard in a week.
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