The Single Yellow Rose

There is no one more beautiful than a bride on her wedding day. My friend Bianca was such a creature as she walked down the red carpet that was laid in her backyard for the occasion. Her smile was brighter than the sun, it got wider when her groom met her in the middle. There was no doubt in my mind that there was no more beautiful couple than them. Part of me was jealous, the other part was happy for them.

I turned just in time to see Andrew walking to his seat. He was late as always. He shot a sheepish grin my way, then sat down and watched the ceremony. His presence did something to me, made my stomach do flips. Once upon a time, long ago most people expected us to be the happily married couple. Nothing would have made me happier.
Even though the wedding was in my backyard, the reception was going to be held in a swanky hotel ballroom. Everyone shuffled off to their cars to continue to party, Bianca came up and gave me a hug. "Will you be joining us?"

"Maybe in a little bit, I just want to make sure things get picked up around here." She nodded and followed her groom to their limo. Seeing Andrew had shaken me more than I would care to admit. I just wanted a moment to breath and regain my composure.

"Well hello there stranger." His voice startled me. After all of these years, very little about the man had changed. His hair was as thick and brown as it ever was. His eyes were still crystal blue, though there were crow's feet beginning to take root. "I heard that you inherited that estate. Sorry to hear about your grandma."

"Well she was 98, so it wasn't unexpected." I tried to give him a smile but my lips barely moved. We avoided looking at one another in the eyes, it was almost as awkward as the first time we kissed. "It's good to see you. I thought that you were over in Iraq."

"Afghanistan. I was but my contract with the Army ended and I figured now was the time to get out. They offered me a hefty raise but I'm 36 now and have been doing this since I was 18." His cologne danced in my nose, an intoxicating mixture of musk and tobacco. "I think we need to talk about it."

It. The elephant in the room, so to speak. It, the reason why I lost out on my happily ever after. It. How do I even start to explain to him the reasons why I did what I did and why I would make the same choice again? "I don't know what to say."

"I deserve better than that, and so does our child. You need to explain yourself!"

Even with him emphasizing the last part, his voice was still low. Why wasn't he yelling at me? Every time I imagined this conversation, there was yelling and screaming and tears. "Andrew, I don't owe you an explanation. I aborted our baby, and you left. That's the facts as they are."

"I'm sorry but that's not good enough. You destroyed us, you destroyed me with your selfishness. If for nothing else, I deserve to know why you broke my heart and destroyed us."

"Just because you are a man, doesn't mean I owe you an explanation!" It felt as if my chest had been hit by a ton of bricks. I looked over at the rose garden and walked slowly over to it. "It happened. You left, you were always going to leave. So why does any of this matter?"

"It matters because you destroyed me! You killed my child and you weren't even courageous enough to tell me about it. I had to hear it through the grapevine when I came back from duty."

"I tried so many times to call you, to talk to you about it. You never answered your phone, you walked the other way when you saw me coming towards you! But this is all my fault right? You are completely blameless in this!" The well of emotions inside of me was erupting like a volcano, I had no idea what I was going to feel or say next. My eyes stayed trained on the single yellow rose in the garden. Andrew was looking at the same flower. "You wanted to know so bad but you did everything in your power not to see me. You loved me so much that you screwed your way through the town, and thought I wouldn't hear about it. You even married another woman and then cheated on her, but I'm the one in the wrong here."

"You list all of my faults but you don't accept your part in them. The night we made love, I was going to propose to you. Then everyone told me that it wasn't right to do it right after sex, so I waited. Then I thought that I would do it at graduation, but I didn't have it in me when I heard that you had an abortion. If you had just talked to me about things, we could have worked it out. We could have been parents together."

"Was this before or after you enlisted in the army? How long did it take before you laid down in bed with Bianca?"

"I made mistakes too, yes. But at that point, I figured that we were over. You unilaterally made a decision to kill a human being, one that I helped you create."

"You keep saying things like it was an easy decision but it wasn't. We weren't ready to be parents; we didn't have the capability of caring for a baby. I have many regrets in my life but I know I made the right choice."

"Maybe all that's left to say is goodbye." Andrew walked away, his head hung down.