Captain Slash

Their Captain was a big man, with a black beard, and peg-leg. His leadership skills involved stumping around the ship lunging, and slashing with his cat o' nine tails. Hence his name: “Captain Slash. Argh!”

“Get to work you dogs” he bellowed, swaggering about. Up and down the decks he stumped, slashing left, and slashing right, at the cowering men under his gaze. Argh!

“I want this ship readied for action. Avast there ye swabs, heave to on that line, or I’ll heave you right into the drink, ya smarmy scum! Argh!”

That afternoon they came in sight of a juicy prize. A fat Dutch Steam trader, laden with silks and spices. Captain Slash called “battle stations.” The mate rang the bell for general quarters.

“Come about, hard to port” ordered the Captain. “Set course for that wallowing pig waiting to be slaughtered. Argh!”

The pirate ship heeled over. She was a three masted schooner with twenty sixteen-pound cannons. That, and the sheer speed of the sleek black raider struck cold fear into many a merchantman.

The Dutch Trader quickly deduced his peril, and tried to run, but it was too little too late. The pirates had the wind and the angle and soon closed the gap.

The Dutch Captain blew his steam horn in one last, vain attempt to attract help before the pirates stormed aboard his ship.

“Fire a broadside” ordered Captain Slash. “Argh! Fire chain, aim for her rigging.” he bellowed.

Ten sequential booms sounded and the Traders rigging was shredded.

“Put one into her boiler Argh!” growled Captain Slash.

And then, maddeningly, Captain Slash heard the voice of a pesky wench.

“Tommy! It’s getting late. Time to get out of the tub and into your pajamas.”

“Awww mom” Tommy said. “I was just starting to have fun”.