The Color of Love

You do not know me, but I am the luckiest person in the world. You may see my tattered clothes, my dirty hair or my toothless grin, but I am immaculate on the inside. If my inner spirit were visible instead of my outer shell, you would see what love looks like. You would know what hope and perseverance look like, and you would see the color of faith. Anyone can see them, if they only made an effort to look inside for my soul.

I do not have a home to call my own, and I do not own a car. I do not have any of life's necessities as you see them. I live life just fine without a cell phone, and I manage to communicate well without text messaging or email. Love continually grows in my heart even though I wear no diamonds. I do not take pride in my golf game or flaunt my country club membership. However, I do enjoy sitting silently for hours, absorbing the warm sunlight. Do not pity me, for I am blessed.

Unlike those who live their lives in a constant rush, I am able to experience something most others will never know; the experience of seeing a person's true colors. Specifically, the color of love and the color of hate. A person's soul shines through when they show concern for another. They do not realize it, but often I can see an angel behind them. Sometimes, the angel is close behind. Other times, it keeps its distance, but remains close enough to be there whenever there is a time of need. I have yet to see mine. I am sure it is just as beautiful as everyone else's. Our angels do not judge us.

I do not particularly enjoy living life on the streets. I do get cold and hungry. I am often lonely and afraid, but I am at peace. I am able to experience joy from feeling fresh rain fall down onto my body. I appreciate hearing loud claps of thunder. Lightning is a very spectacular event when you take the time to watch it. I am happy to feel pain and to feel love. I am happy to be alive, and I do not take for granted anything. I have appreciation for everything that I have been given. A simple, kind smile from a stranger will give me motivation to look forward to watching the sun set that night. A cold heart and stern glare saddens me and sometimes scathes my faith in humanity. However, all of that is forgotten when I see a small child. Children give hope. They do not instantly assume I am an alcoholic, a drug addict or merely lazy. They look at me and see someone who is cold and hungry. They do not yet know judgment. Adults are the ones who often have blackness in their hearts. The color of cruelty is harsh to my eyes, so I look away. However, I do not hold it against them since that is what they have learned. Most of them do not know any better. They will find out and understand the truth one day. The truth about love, respect and generosity.

I have accepted, but have yet to understand, why some people feel one soul is more worthy of love and respect than a soul such as myself. Because I sleep on the cold ground does not make my spirit inferior to those who sleep in a soft bed with warm blankets. When I am asleep, I sleep the same as anyone else. Does having material possessions and luxuries make one person superior to another? Do you expect to take all of your possessions with you upon your death? Money has no value; as in the end, it means nothing. Love, on the other hand, will be at your side when you make your final journey. Not even your money will buy you that love when it comes time. Love is free. If it is not free, then it is not real love, and will someday be gone. Do not look down on me, unless it is while you are extending your hand in love. I do not expect your pocket change. I do not need your pity.

The strong gusts of wind chill me to the bone. I huddle close to a dumpster in a futile attempt to block the wind from battering my weak body. The darkness of the night swallows me whole, and my body shakes uncontrollably in an effort to keep itself warm, but is failing. When I open my eyes, I am disoriented. I can not tell exactly what direction I am facing, or even where I am any longer. My time on this Earth is nearly over. I am ready to be with my wife and children again. I can not wait to see their loving faces and feel their warm embrace. They have let me know they are waiting for me. I have not seen them since before the horrific house fire, but I know they will be just as beautiful as they were before. It is nearly time that I join them, and we can be together again for eternity.

I close my eyes for one last time. The darkness is now gone. The bright light illuminates everything around me. It becomes apart of me and envelopes my soul. I now see my family in the distance. The pain is now gone. I am finally free.