Selfies

Paisley thought she could do whatever she wanted, just because she was thirteen and hot. She was wrong. It was going to be a wonderful sunny day at the Zoo, Mr. Martin told us. But going there with the whole stupid class appeared more like a training on misery for me. And I was not the only one that was going to be exasperated. We started on the peacock enclosure and Paisley, being Paisley, didn’t thought about anything better than grabbing a stone, and hitting one on the ass. The poor guy made a terrible shriek and ran for his life. In a second all the other peacocks were running around, startled by the raucous. Paisley, of course, grabbed her friend Abigail, posed in front of the peacock festival that she created, and proceeded to take a proud selfie.

I didn’t take selfies, I may be their age but I am not like them. I took photographs, a reportage of the animal show. Meaning the fucktards on my class, of course. Including your sneering majesty Paisley, queen of mean and the selfie herd. And she had to fucking call me creep for taking her dumbass photo. Whatever.

Please don’t give food to the animals. But that certainly didn’t apply to her greatness. She brought rotten bananas to throw at the chimps, to enjoy their huing display of disappointment. But she was just about to experience her downfall. She had to take that selfie, sitting on the railing and pompously leaning back to show herself in front of the elephants below. A stretch too far and plof, there she was, landing very strategically between mama elephant and her cub. Her screams didn’t help, on the contrary I think startled the elephant more. She was finished in a second as the mother stomped right on her head. Like nothing. Like if you step on an ant. People apparently cared about it much though. I recorded everything and naturally posted it online. I guess she would be happy that a video with her got so many hits. I think all the animals were happy for sure.