My Wife Watching “Wheel of Fortune”

Pat and Vanna get the show started.
Soon contestants are calling out letters,
successfully finding consonants assorted.
Bankrupts and misses their success fetters.

My wife soon announces what the puzzle
reads; for solving she has quite the knack.
Now her annoyance she cannot muzzle.
At the TV screen she begins to talk back.

Solution obvious, the contestant buys a vowel.
“No! No! You are just wasting your money!”
my wife pronounces in a rather loud howl.
Me: “You realize they can’t hear you, eh, honey?”

Even I now can see what the correct answer must be.
The clueless contestant guesses a wrong letter,
which sends my poor wife’s patience right up a tree.
She exclaims, “That fellow is dumber than an Irish setter.”

This pattern is repeated during round after round.
Shouts of “No!”, “You Dummy”, “Idiot!” fill the air,
as my wife’s growing frustration remains unbound.
A winner is crowned, saving my wife from total despair.

Finally that contestant goes to the Bonus Round.
Choices of letters made, the clock ticks down.
My wife gives the answer, once again me to astound.
As time runs out, my wife’s face wears a frown.

“How could they miss that? That was so lame,”
my wife exclaims. “Their not winning was a shame.”
Me: “On this show, you’d win great fortune and fame.”
Her: “On live TV I couldn’t even guess my own name!”


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