Evil Shows Its Face

Chapter 1 Chaos

I laid in my tiny, single sized bed facing the window wall staring down toward the end of my bed at my sister’s bed. She softly breathes, asleep there in her dingy t-shirt and tiny size two shorts. Why her? Why couldn’t I save her? Every minute feels like an hour, every hour a day, every day a month, every month a year, and so on. Was my life always like this? Will it ever end? Can anyone hear me? Tomorrow night's the night. There's no turning back. Was this the turning point that would forever change my life?

Born in Alliance, Ohio in 1973 during the dog days of summer to Vera and Lewis Buffington. I was a chubby baby with jet black hair, hazel blue-brown eyes, and enough melanin to question my ethnicity. My dad was in prison before I was born, so mom must have met him some time after he was released. Mom was 17 when she had me; my dad was the ripe old age of 35. Rumor has it that my mom was drunk when she went into labor with me. However, things were much different then, and no one gave it a second thought.

Even as a young child I remember my childhood being very unstable. My mom was 14 years old when she had my oldest brother. I think my dad was his dad, or at least that's what someone told me. My brother Lewis Jr. was born July 1, 1971, and he died a month later at Akron Children's Hospital of spina bifida. I never knew him, but I can't help to feel sad. People always say things happen for a reason, I just wish I knew what those reasons were. I torched the last photographic evidence that he ever existed. A few Polaroid pictures met the fate of a pack of mom's cigarettes, a gas stove, and a basement full of concoctions that I masterfully created while my uncle slept on the sofa. Mom never left him in charge again.

Since my uncle was in trouble, I spent more time with my dad. He used to drive me around in his old, rusty pickup truck and show me off at the bars, junkyards, and mom-and-pop stores. I carried my brown stuffed monkey that had the Velcro hands and hung around my neck. That was my favorite toy. I enjoyed it much more than the smell of cigarettes and beer at the bars where dad took me. Of course, a bar is no place for a two-year-old child. I was told that my father tried to sell me to grown men for beer money; however, this has never been proven since I never heard the conversation.

Many days I spent with my dad in our small apartment while mom left. I never knew where she went, but I always stared out the window waiting for her to come home. It was as if I was scared she wouldn’t return one day, but she always came back. Sometimes I would get to go with mom, we would ride the Greyhound bus together. I don't know where we went, though. Once in a while when we got home, a lady mom knew would bring me big bunches of beautiful flowers. They were displayed proudly on our floor model television. I didn't know why she gave me flowers, and I never asked.

We moved from our tiny apartment to a big house in town. Alliance was a big city, even back then. Thinking back now, I would say those were the best days of my life. At least I thought so at the time. I had so many toys as a child, a Baby Alive, Easy Bake Oven, and dolls galore. My little sister Tammy and I would play with everything. Unlike me, Tammy was a tiny little girl. My little sister was born on November 10th, 1976. She had beautiful dishwater blond hair, brown eyes, pale skin, and was thin as a beanpole. She was the best sister I could ever ask for.

Dad, mom, sis, and I would visit my paternal grandparents about once a month. I remember thinking how young my grandma looked. She would always be in this old, run down house. There was an old truck that set in the driveway. My grandpa was in the truck alone with the windows up and the doors locked every time we visited. I never understood why. However, there were a lot of things I didn't understand then. My grandma died a short time after that; she was around 45 years old.

After grandma had passed away, Grandpa came to live with us. I think this was another major turning point in my life. It's odd how I realize that now. Grandpa and I never really talked much, so I didn't know what he was like as a person. Mom made dinner one evening, steak, potatoes, and pop. Grandpa was hungry, so he sat down at the table and waited for his plate. Sis and I went upstairs to play while everyone else finished their meals.

"Call Susie!” mom shouted.

"Gimme the wine!” dad yelled.

Not knowing what all the commotion was about I ran downstairs to see my grandpa laying on the front room floor. My dad was knelt down on both knees pouring wine into his mouth. In that position, my grandpa looked 10 feet tall. I just stood there and stared. I don't know if I was more scared or inquisitive. Soon, my aunt came rushing in the house, she calmly told Tammy and me that we were going to her house. It was at that point that I knew I was scared. I found out many years later that grandpa had choked to death that night.

After grandpa had died I didn't see my dad; it was as though he disappeared with grandpa. Tammy and I spent a lot of time with our mom at our Aunt Sue's house playing with our cousins. Nothing made me happier than going over and playing with Julie and Little Dennis. We used to play in their Uncle Gene's Rv. Uncle Gene was their dad's brother if I remember correctly. It goes to show you that I never really knew my family. We would sit in the RV and eat, and then run down to play in the old, shanty of a barn that was half missing and half falling in and burn off the calories we just consumed.

Sometimes we would get to spend the night at Aunt Sue and Uncle Dennis's farm. Julie, sis, and I would share Julie's canopy bed. She had this small, circular window that faced the road. I remember lying awake giggling until Aunt Sue would come up and yell at us to go sleep.

"Girls! You better get to sleep, or I'm coming up there!"

As kind as she was, I knew she meant business when she yelled, yet she never laid a hand on us. She was one of the most beautiful souls I knew, both inside and out.

Julie and Little Dennis's bedrooms were on the second floor of the old farmhouse. The first few stairs going up was wildly twisted, and I truly enjoyed climbing those odd stairs. After everyone was asleep for the night, I would lay awake and take in the smells of Julie's breath as she slept. Feeling the cottony, pink sheets, and soft, comfy bed. Little things like that most people take for granted, but not me. I envied Julie, her soft bed, and kind mother and father.

When we weren't at Aunt Sue's, Julie and I would go to Jennie's house. Jenny was Julie's paternal grandmother. She lived in the main city of Alliance too. Almost all the family on my mom and dad’s side lived in Alliance or Sebring, Ohio.

We would listen to "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" on the old record player. After singing our hearts out, we flooded the bathroom with frigid, cold water from the bathtub. In walked Jenny. She was not as compassionate as Aunt Sue.

Jenny screamed, "Girls! Is this how you carry on at your house?"

"No ma'am" we answered in unison.

"Then why would you do it here?" Jenny shouted.

Julie replied, "We're sorry grandma."

Jenny was the one caring for Julie's oldest sister, who was kidnaped and found frozen to death on Thanksgiving Day by the same man she let stay at her house. Little April was about eight months old when her frozen, lifeless body was found in the snow, wrapped up and barely visible. There is speculation that she was molested by the man whole kidnapped her, but as parents Aunt Sue and Uncle Dennis didn't want to know.

That man was Uncle Dennis's best friend from what I heard. He had some troubles growing up, but Jenny always took him in because he was friends with her son, Dennis. April was born around the same year as my oldest brother. My Aunt and mom both lost their first babies.

Mom, sis, and I got another apartment. We were on the second floor. I saw my dad again, but he worked a lot. Julie and I were evil little children I think, always into something- everything actually. We shoved Tammy's tiny body through the rails on the balcony and dangled her two stories above the thick concrete that waited to welcome my beautiful sister in its arms.

"Elsie, Julie!" mom frantically yelled while running toward us to grab my sister.

I don't remember having intentions of letting go, but I'm glad we got caught when we did. Not long after that birdbrained incident, I pulled a percolator off the kitchen counter and burned a massive blister right in the middle of my neck. Mom rushed me to the hospital where dad met up with us a short time later. Knowing what I know now, I was a trouble maker of the worst kind.

After moving once again to a house that served as a duplex, we were back on the first floor where my mom felt safe with me. The neighbors were having a party next door with pizza and the soda that I've been dying to try since I first saw the commercial on t.v., Dr. Pepper. I swear I was drooling as mom moved the soda can slowly to my mouth.

"Ptooie! I don't like it", I said as I spit the nightmarish tasting flavor from my palette.

My dreams were crushed. All the waiting, watching every television commercial, and begging and pleading for one can like my life depended on it, for nothing. I never asked for another can of Dr. Pepper after that. Dad disappeared from our lives again, and mom, sis, and I moved in with Grandma Smith.

Grandma Smith, my maternal grandmother, was nice enough to us I guess. She was a short, skinny woman. Tammy reminded me a lot of Grandma Smith. Grandma had 12 kids that she raised alone until she met her boyfriend, Red, who moved in with her. Red spent a lot of time at the horse races. Grandma spent just as much time at Bingo. You could say they had a gambling problem.

Mom, sis, and I slept on the second floor of grandma's house next to the big bathroom with the claw foot tub. We all three shared a nice, big bed. Mom woke me up every day earlier than I care to recall.

"Wake up," she said in an empty voice.

"I don't want my hair brushed; it hurts. I don't want my hair up, it's ugly" I said cranky from mom waking me up early again.

"You're getting your hair done; it looks pretty" mom would argue.

There was no convincing her that I hated that hairstyle, with the part on the left and little barrettes on each side. We would ride with someone to my Aunt Noreen and Uncle Ron's house around 3-4 a.m. every day. Tammy and I would share my cousins' bunk beds once we arrived. After waking up later in the morning, we would all play "Donkey Kong" with our four cousins'. We would play outside in the early afternoon and then come back in to have lunch. It seemed like the day was gone in the blink of an eye.

In the late afternoon, my Aunt Noreen came home, and mom, sis, and I had to leave. We went back to grandma's house but didn't go inside. Instead, mom carried Tammy, and we walked up and down the sidewalk in front of grandma's house. It didn't matter if it was cold, rainy, or scorching hot. We just walked. I would look down at the sidewalk as I walked being careful not to trip. Looking up now and then to see the heels of my mom's old tennis shoes, the expression on my face sad. My eyes started at mom's heels and made their way slowly up her legs to her back, and finally staring at the back of her head for a minute before returning my eyes to the sidewalk.

"Mommy, when can we go home?" I asked.

"Just keep walking" she would reply.

Grandma Smith's house was right across the road from train tracks. I used to watch the trains go by wondering what it would be like to be free. Once I was watching the train, and I saw a man sneaking up along the side of the train opposite from the side I was watching. His one arm was raised slightly above waist high. He had a gun. I don't know whatever happened, but I never told anyone what I saw. All I needed was more chaos in my life.

There was a little convenience store up the road from grandmas. I stole a candy bar once. Mom made me take it back and apologize. I was mad about the whole situation and from being embarrassed, so when I got back from returning the candy, I crawled under the dining room table and bit mom as hard as I could right on her leg.

"WHACK!" went her hand across my face. She slapped the shit straight out of me. I cried so hard I had a lump in my throat. That was the first time I remember crying so hard I hyperventilated. I sat on the top stair and cried for a long time. After I had calmed down a bit, I decided I needed more revenge on my mother for slapping me. I went outside and picked a fight with my cousin Katrina. We argued over a tricycle. Grandma and my Aunt Nancy, Katrina's mom, took my side. Mission accomplished, revenge was exacted.

The next day Grandma Smith had Aunt June walk down to the convenience store to buy her favorite cake. White cake, chocolate frosting, and a cherry on top. She always let me have the cherry. I would go into the kitchen and stand in front of the vintage, farmhouse style sink that was on the left as you walked through the door. Grandma was a diabetic, so I don't know why she always ate cake, candy bars, and drank soda.

After what seemed like months and months, mom didn't make us wake up early anymore. We got to sleep in a soft, warm bed for as long as we wanted. Our bed was against a wall on the one side, and that's the wall I slept beside. Tammy slept in the middle, and mom slept in the front. I woke up one morning to some weird movement in the bed. I saw out the corner of my eye that some naked man was on top of my mom. I pretended not to notice and quickly crawled out of bed to head downstairs.

As I was crawling out of bed, mom said, "She didn't see us."

The naked man replied, "She did see us. Are you sure she didn't see?"

The strange, naked man who was on my mom just stopped and watched until I was out of sight. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, them or me. We soon moved in with that strange man and my Aunt June. The man had a collection of ships in bottles. They were the most amazing pieces I had ever seen. How did he get the large ships in the bottles with such tiny openings I wondered? Tammy and I had our own bedroom and a huge, girly bed at the man's house. I don't know who he was, but he was sure nice to us. He had a pretty house too.

We didn't live with the man very long, maybe about a month, and we moved again. This time we moved in with mom and her new man. The new man drove a big, old car. He reeked of cologne, beer, and cigarettes. At night, he would always take us through the convenience store drive through for beer, cigarettes, and chips and soda for Tammy and me. Maybe this guy wasn't so bad I thought. At first he didn't say too much to Tam and me. He told us he had kids too. We were excited to have older siblings.

Our lives for the next few months consisted of riding around with John Miller, mom’s new boyfriend. I never knew how they met though. Mom and John would sit in the front seat singing to country music on the eight track or radio, and Tam and I would sit in the back watching mom use her left hand to rub the back of John’s hair. John was about 5’9” and weighed about 160- 170 pounds. He had blue eyes and black hair. He was also much older than mom.