Parody of "Royals" by Lorde. 1st Place winner of September 2015 Pen Me a Parody Contest. |
Writers (Sung to the Tune of "Royals" by Lorde) I'm something of a diamond in the rough. I cut my teeth on writers.com in cyberspace. And I'm not proud of my attempts, so I tore them up. Got poem envy But every poem's like mashed teeth, pulled hair, running to the bathroom, unrhymed, unmetered, trash in the waste basket. I don't care, I'm winning Pulitzers in my dreams. But everybody's like, "Crystal, maybe, give it a rest please." Short stories, contests, allegories on my lunch break, I don't care. I'm caught up in this fictional love affair. I may never be published (published), But writing's in my blood And the WdC's for people like me Who seek a positive community. Let me be a writer (writer), tho' I'd lose a spelling bee, And baby I'll write (I'll write I'll write I'll write) Poems, sci-fi and fantasy. I got reviewed, so now I owe WdC, log on, review on the train to the party And everyone who knows me knows I'm fine with this. I don't write for money. But every story's like no plot, no tension, trippin' up on grammar, Bloody heroes, bald villains, where's the dang ending? I don't care, I'm winning Pulitzers in my dreams. But everybody's like, "Crystal, maybe, let's go to the movies." Essays, blogging, hailing newbies over breakfast, I don't care. I'm caught up in this fictional love affair. Will I ever be published? (published?) This writing's in my blood And WdC's such a help to me I gotta check in daily, I wanna be a writer (writer), tho' I'd lose a spelling bee, And baby I'll write (I'll write I'll write I'll write) Westerns, satires and mysteries. Lie, lay, laid Verb tenses hound me in my dreams. Homonyms abound, seen or scene? They're, there, their My head's spinning, I don't care. I'm caught up in this wordplay love affair. Someday I'll be published (published) Cuz writing's in my blood. WdC's been inspiring me To move beyond my boundaries. Gotta be a writer (writer), tho' I'd lose a spelling bee, And baby I'll write (I'll write I'll write I'll write) Romance, occult and mythology. Original Lyrics "Royals" by Lorder I've never seen a diamond in the flesh I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies And I'm not proud of my address, In the torn-up town, no post code envy But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room, We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams. But everybody's like crystal, Maybach, diamonds on your time piece. Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash. We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair. And we'll never be royals (royals). It don't run in our blood, That kind of lux just ain't for us. We crave a different kind of buzz. Let me be your ruler (ruler), You can call me queen Bee And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule. Let me live that fantasy. My friends and I – we've cracked the code. We count our dollars on the train to the party. And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this, We didn't come for money. But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom. Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room, We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams. But everybody's like crystal, Maybach, diamonds on your time piece. Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash We don't care we aren't caught up in your love affair And we'll never be royals (royals). It don't run in our blood That kind of lux just ain't for us We crave a different kind of buzz. Let me be your ruler (ruler), You can call me queen Bee And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule. Let me live that fantasy. Oooh ooooh ohhh We're bigger than we ever dreamed, And I'm in love with being queen. Oooooh ooooh ohhhhh Life is game without a care We aren't caught up in your love affair. And we'll never be royals (royals). It don't run in our blood That kind of lux just ain't for us We crave a different kind of buzz Let me be your ruler (ruler), You can call me queen Bee And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule. Let me live that fantasy. |