Carry Me Home

Prologue

“It’s time, Em.” My dad’s soft voice was no more than a whisper in my ear.
“Don’t cry, Dad. Please. You’ll ruin my makeup and then I’ll have to kill you, or better yet, Ruby will kill you.” I fanned my face to push away unshed tears.
“My baby girl.” Choked words spilled out as he offered his arm to me.
Slowly, I snaked my arm through his and turned just as the double doors swung open. The familiar tune played throughout the lavishly decorated hall. Every head turned as guests stood, mouths dropped and tears fell. I blame it on the dress.
“You’ve got this, baby girl.” My dad took a step, bringing me back down to Earth and in the moment, matching step for step with him down the lilac stained aisle.
I still couldn’t believe this was happening. How in the world did a 23 year old, freshly graduated, degree holding, sweet southern girl from the south end up here? How did I ever get so lucky?
No more than thirty feet down the flower-covered aisle, stood the most amazing, caring, loving, not to mention insanely gorgeous man I had ever seen. In a few short moments, he would be mine. All mine. His twinkling eyes caught mine and at that moment, I wanted to break into a sprint, run full force ahead, slam into his arms and forever be Mrs. Denson.
Fuck the paperwork, I just wanted it to happen now. Mrs. Denson. It had an amazing ring to it. Butterflies fluttered as the new title rattled in my mind. I looked forward to so many things with Levi, but taking his name and becoming Mrs. Levi Denson was perhaps one of the most exciting parts of this whole marriage deal.
Levi was everything that any woman with a pulse could have ever dreamt of, and he was waiting at the end of the aisle for me. Southern, mouth like a sailor, tomboy me, Emmylou Taylor. What in the world was he thinking? This man could have had any woman he wanted, and he was choosing me. God, I was a lucky woman.
“It’s time, kid.” My dad repeated his earlier words to me, bringing me back.
He kissed my cheek and shook Levi’s outstretched hand before finding his seat beside Lana, my stepmother.
Levi’s eyes scanned my face, my body, his hands reaching out to take mine in his. I felt so much love for him at that moment that I thought it quite possible to spontaneously combust from the love within. Cheesy, I know.
“God, I love you, Em. My message didn’t scare you off. You are here. Thank you.” He had leaned in, his words no more than a whisper in my ear, his warm, minty breath hot on my neck.
“Message?” I mouthed in his direction. What was he talking about? I turned to search his face for answers, but he had already begun to move, pulling me to face him as the ceremony began.
The rest of the over the top wedding was a blur, my hands resting in Levi’s as the words of our future washed over me. My mind only wandered to Levi’s mention of a message once as I tried to figure out what I had possibly missed since yesterday. I had tucked my phone into my overnight bag when Ruby and I had arrived at the suite the night before and I hadn’t had a moment to check it again with all of the craziness surrounding the wedding prep.
“Ready, Em?” Levi’s sparkling green eyes were shining, tears barely hanging on.
“Huh?”
“The kiss, Em. Make an honest man out of me.”
A soft giggle escaped me as I went up on tiptoes, sealing my lips to his amidst hoops and hollers from every direction.
__
As we sat in the overdone reception hall, rose and lilac spilled out everywhere, my fingers intertwined with Levi’s, his earlier words came back to me. For some unexplainable reason, at that moment, the message he had mentioned was all I could think about. The relieved look in his eyes as I stood by him at the alter refused to leave my mind and I knew I would be a lost cause the rest of the night if I didn’t take a moment to see what the message said. I had to know. Had to.
“Where are you going, Mrs. Denson?” Levi’s silky voice purred as I stood, determined to locate my phone, to put my mind at ease.
“Restroom,” I lied as I headed towards the nearest door.
I had changed in a suite right off of the reception hall and I knew my overnight bag, and hopefully my still charged phone, were in there. Two seconds. This will only take two seconds and then I can go back to my husband. God that sounded wonderful. My husband. There were those damn butterflies again.
I located my bag in the closest and fished around until I pulled out my phone. I powered it up, waiting impatiently as the little white apple appeared. The little red circle indicated three new messages waiting for me. I clicked the icon and quickly scanned, seeing one from my cousin, my best friend Ruby, and finally, Levi. Shaky fingers clicked on his name and the message came up full screen.

I love you, Em. More than life itself. I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you. There have been things I am not proud of, things I wish I could take back, but they happened and I can’t change that. I can, instead, ask for your forgiveness and ask that you still agree to marry me. I have not been faithful to you like I should have been, but they meant nothing to me. You mean everything to me and they meant nothing. I needed to tell you, but you won’t answer your phone. I love you so much, Em. If you meet me at the alter tomorrow, I’ll know you are forgiving me. Everything that happened was in the past and I am ready to move forward with you as my wife. I love you.
Holy fuck.

Chapter 1
“Em, what’s the matter?” A voice in the distance called out as I moved through the crowded reception hall.
I was a woman on a mission. A mission to kill. My face felt hot with anger as I pushed past blurred faces in my way.
“Emmy, dear, you look so beauti-,” Aunt Sandra reached for a hug as I hung onto the bottom of my dress and pushed through her arms. Mental note made to apologize later.
My eyes found Levi before he saw me, before he had any idea of what was coming for him. If he had seen me sooner, I was sure he would have gotten up and ran away, but luckily for me, he didn’t see me until I was approaching the table.
“There you are, baby. It’s almost time for the first dance. ” Levi stood from the spot I had left him. The spot I had just been sitting in five minutes before, blissfully unaware of the shit that was about to hit the fan, so to speak. “Em, what’s wrong?” Levi’s demeanor changed as soon as he had a chance to take in the anger radiating throughout my body.
“You fucking asshole. You fucking, no good, lying asshole.” My words startled those closest to me, a hushed silence falling over the entire crowd as I stood, staring at my husband, only a lilac covered table separating us.
“Emmy, calm down, babe.” Levi took a step towards me and that was the moment I lost it, lost every bit of control I had ever known.
‘Don’t you take another fucking step,” I screamed as I hurled the closest thing I could reach, which happened to be a mason jar full of beautiful daisies, my favorite fucking flower.
The loud crash of the jar against the stained concrete floor rattled through the hall, causing little kids to scream out and old ladies to clutch their purses. Fuck them. I was in no mood to give a damn about anyone else at the moment. The only thing on my mind was killing Levi right there in front of everyone, or at least causing him a great deal of pain. Something similar to the pain he had placed upon me on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life would be sufficient.
“Emmy, stop this. Calm down, now.” Levi had recovered from the mason jar flying at his head and was once again moving around the table, making an effort to get to me.
“I hate you, you son of a bitch,” were the last words I yelled before reaching down, grabbing my rose colored stiletto, and throwing with every bit of strength I had, making a last ditch effort to make contact with his head. I had been an ace softball player back in high school and I was really counting on that accuracy right then to knock Levi clean on his cheating ass.
“You crazy bitch,” Levi screamed from under the table.
“What is going on, here?” My Dad, who had missed the first part of our fight, approached cautiously on my left, overly aware of my hot temper and strong arm.
“Your daughter has lost her ever loving mind, sir,” Levi, looking more like a scared dog than a grown man, muttered from his safe spot.
“Why don’t you get up here and tell everyone what’s really going on, Levi.” Adrenaline was racing through my veins, giving me an inner strength I was not previously aware of.
When no movement was detected within five seconds, I took matters into my own hands.
“He’s a cheating, lying asshole, is what’s going on. He texted me last night to confess and thought that because I showed up today that I was somehow forgiving him, only I am just now finding out,” I spoke loudly enough for everyone in the hall to get the picture.
My dad, being the sole reason I had the temper I had, didn't even make it through my explanation before he was moving, moving towards Levi.
“Sir, I can explain,” Levi stuttered as he took several quick steps backwards.
Daddy was a man of few words, more action, and this situation was no different. With one quick motion, he lunged towards Levi, knocking him down to the ground, going down with him.
The rest was more of a blur than anything as more screaming could be heard from those closest to the fight. I was pretty sure I saw my daddy throw a punch or two in Levi’s general direction but my eyes refused to focus clearly enough for me to see. As I stood there, frozen, the slowing adrenaline mixed with the emotions hitting, I lost it.
“Come on, Em, let’s get you out of here,” Ruby was right there, ushering me out of the hall and into the suite I had occupied the night before.
Even after the door had been shut and locked, I could still hear the noises coming from the other room. Yelling, the sound of chairs scraping against the floor and what I could only assume were bodies hitting something, the walls, a table, something.
“Emmy, what is going on? What happened.” My best friend, looking as beautiful as ever, standing in front of me in the large room, completely dumbfounded.
Where I had so many words just moments before, the ability to form a sentence, to explain the situation seemed impossible. Letting Ruby read the message for herself seemed to be the only option. I quickly located my phone, which I had dropped on top of my bag when I had first discovered the message.
“Read this,” I managed, pushing my phone into Ruby’s hands.
“Okay.”
She seemed unsure of where this was going but as I studied her face, I knew she was reading. The confusion quickly turned to anger as her eyes danced back and forth on the screen, taking it all in. A quick hand to her mouth let me know she was getting to the good stuff.
“What the hell? I’m gonna kill him,” Ruby threw the phone down and headed for the door.
“Ruby, no, please, just stop,” I begged, reaching for her hand and pulling her back away from the door.
I was past the point of wanting to inflict pain on Levi. My own pain was taking over and I needed Ruby, needed her to hold me up when I felt like I couldn’t hold my own weight a second longer. She had always been my rock and now was the no doubt the time I needed her the most.
“Ruby, please, just stay with me,” I begged, still holding her hand in the middle of the two bedroom, jacuzzi fitted room I had expected to spend the night in with my husband, the same room Ruby and I had spent the night in last night as we prepared for the biggest day of my life.
“Oh Em, I am so sorry,” Ruby scooped me in one of her famous hugs, rubbing my curled hair as I cried onto her shoulder.
We stood that way, locked in a hug, my sobs the only noise in the room, for what seemed like hours. The noises outside of the room had died down to just the sound of furniture being moved, what I had to imagine was guests trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered marriage that had spilled out all over the reception hall.
“So you had no idea? When did you see this?” Ruby asked after I had finally released her and found a seat on the bed.
“No idea. He said something to me about a message when I got down to him at the alter, but I had no idea. I only remembered when we were sitting there after the wedding that he had mentioned a message. I snuck in here to check my phone. The sad thing is I was expecting some grand surprise, some over the top romantic gesture.” I dabbed at my tear soaked eyes with my wadded tissue.
“Why would he tell you now?” Ruby shook her head in anger.
“How about why the hell did he do it?”
“Well, yeah, that too, but why confess the night before your wedding? What a jackass thing to do.” Ruby shook her perfectly curled hair as she spoke.
“He actually thought I would read that message and not care. I think that bothers me just as much as the actual cheating, the fact that he doesn’t know me well enough to know how deeply this would cut me.” I held my hands over my face as I curled my body into the smallest ball of space possible.
“What do you want to do? Do you want to leave? Stay here? Whatever you want to do, Em, you know I will make it happen,” Ruby still sat as close to my shaking ball of a body as she could get, slipping tissues to me every few seconds.
“Can we just stay in here for a minute. Let everything calm down out there and then maybe we can slip out.”
The less interaction I had to have with anyone on the other side of the door, the better. I knew I would have to face them at some point, but tonight was not the night. My dad was the only other person I would have even let come near me, but given his temper and what had taken place just a few minutes before, I could only assume that Lana had ushered him away from the situation to allow him time to diffuse, much like Ruby was doing with me now.
“Do you want to talk to Levi? I’ll drag him in here and let you fry his cheating ass right here if you want me to, Em.” Ruby, in all her goodness, was absolutely serious. Nobody hurt me in Ruby’s world or they would have her to answer to.
“No, please don’t do that. Levi is literally the last person I want to see or talk to right now. Not now, Ruby.”
And so we sat, my tears refusing to let up as I replayed the events of the last half hour over and over. How had I been such a fool? I should have known there would be a catch, something to pull me back down to Earth and slap me out of this blissful stupor. Everything was too perfect, too damn cookie cutter perfect from the beginning. It was inevitable for something to happen, but this had blindsided me.
“Did you ever suspect anything?” Ruby asked tentatively as she rubbed a hand down my designer dress.
“Of course not, Ruby. Of course not. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if I had suspected anything before, you know that.” I blew my nose into the newest tissue I had as I spoke.
“Sorry, I’m just shocked, I think. It sounds pretty quiet out there. Want me to go check it out and see if it’s safe to leave?” Ruby stood, ready to move once she had my blessing.
“Yeah, I guess so, but please be quick.” Being alone seemed impossible.
As Ruby took a step towards the door, as if on cue, the pounding started from the other side.
“Emmy, Emmy are you in there?” Levi’s panicked, broken voice called from just outside of the door as the handle jiggled.
“Go away, asshole,” Ruby spoke up before I even had a chance to think.
“Ruby, this does not concern you. This is between Emmy and I.”
“This doesn’t concern me? Have you lost your goddamn mind? Of course this concerns me. Emmy is my best friend.” Ruby was moving, inching closer to the door as she spoke.
“Well she's my wife and I need to talk to her.” Levi’s voice grew louder with agitation.
Ruby turned back to me, searching my face, trying to read me.
“No,” I mouthed, shaking my head slowly.
“Emmy doesn’t want to see your sorry ass, Levi. You need to just go, now.” Ruby shook her fist at the door.
“Dammit, Ruby, let me in. I need to see Emmy.” His words were followed by more jiggling of the handle as he worked to get in the room.
Seeing Levi would have been too much too soon. I was too emotionally raw, not completely comfortable in what my reaction would be. While I might have felt calm and rational in one breath, the next breath could bring a whole new slew of emotions. There was a good chance I would forget those rational feelings and become a widow if he even got near me right then, either by my doing or Ruby’s.
“Go away, Levi,” I yelled just loud enough, loud enough for him to hear, to get the message directly from me.
“Em,” Levi’s defeated voice barely seeped through the large wooden door.
“Please just go away,” I whispered.