Glitter in my Eyes

I look through the crystal glass and loose myself into a light colour of brown eyes, sparkling through the refraction of the dim light of the night. Sipping my tea slowly with my hands tucked in my tummy, lost in my world of my own uncanny thoughts, I float through a summer paradise reaching out to the stars above me with an inner solitude with lord above me, till I realize I am staring into my own brown eyes, indeed never have i ever had an in-depth understanding of my little brown eyes, highlighted with a thin subtle line of Kajal, but as I sit on the black suede arm chair with my half sipped Masala Chai creating an comforting sensation within me, I begin to realize an untold story floating through my eyes repeating itself with heavy volumes just like the seas taking its ship to its Final Destination.

It was a cold winter afternoon with the wind gushing through my face and my dark brown hair falling over my eyes, I draped my shawl around me to keep myself warm. Cuddling beneath my shawl and clinging to my knees with my head comfortably relaxed on my knees, I now realized it was the end of my MA programme and I had to fulfil my parents dreams and aspiration. I was 24 years old going on to 25 years old, yes you can imagine my parents worry again. Abba was suffering from Parkinsins and Ammas biggest dream was for my Abba to see me married before he goes away, which with a light heart I thought wasn't very far. His health with each day passing was deteriorating and Amma was getting more paranoid with each day, however she never imposed her aspirations and wants on me.

Sipping my Masala Chai slowly lost in my own uncanny light thoughts, I remembered my first love Arjun. I came from Modern School, Barakhamba road and did my BA from Delhi University in Psychology and further did my MA from the very renowned university of DU, as well. The mad rush of life began after we left school. New faces, New teachers and an new environment puzzled us with a sense of nervousness and immense confusion in our mind about what is happening, with my head of my shoulders and confidence in my soul, I walked into DU for my BA(hons). The first time I met Arjun was in the end of class 11 of Modern School..His stream was commerce with maths but mostly other things interested him, his guitar was his best friend and he could spend hours in the music room without anyone. His masculine body got him a place in the Football team and the school would stand to cheer him when they knew he was going to play. Girls would put extra Kajal and untie their hair without failing to look into the mirror twice when they knew Arjun was playing. His light brown eyes often said an untold story which he would reveal through this music. A petite young boy Arjun with starched iron collared shirt and fitted pants with a neat belt always gave him a matured and humble look. People approached him with their problems and maybe that was the reason he had many friends. Like many others, I too had fallen for Arjun, however i dismissed all thoughts and reminded myself of the tight situation and at home and how important my career was for me and that was the day I decided I would never leave my books, and from there I took upon the challenge of becoming a renowned Psychiatrist.

Years past, and life had moved much forward. I had fulfilled all the promises I had in my mind, I achieved a scholarship for my BA program and merit for my MA program. I always appreciated my uncomplicated life which included less friends, or maybe actually none and no interference from anyone, with my achievements Amma always knew I was on the right track and never feared anything but my enclosed life with no interaction with people, however i smiled at that fact that i wasn't not bothered by the unflattering gossip of the society as well as spending time with my friends, which I always thought was wasting time with my friends. My BA(hons) didn't take any time to pass by leaving me with the same thoughts as I had when I left school, "what next". Amma felt strongly that it was the right time for me to get a job however I felt it was just not the end and persuaded her to let me do my MA. My thoughts of Arjun had most flown away like the winder cold breeze gushing across my face with a smile.However I could not ever re call what is was and if it was easy for me to call it my destiny.

It was the first day of my MA program and we were welcomed to our new university house lecture theatre. With peculiar eyes and yet again shivering fingers I entered the hall 15 minutes earlier and took a seat, waiting for the orientation program to start. Slowly the room filled up with now you can say my future colleagues, i shared a brave smile at few girls and they reciprocated by asking me my name, and where i come from. Many girls had come come smaller towns and states as they felt they were old enough to handle the pressures of a metropolitan city like Delhi, It was nice to see the innocence in their eyes which was asking for a new experience and opportunities. Grasped in our conversations a young man, now of course came to the mike and after a couple of check-tests, requested for everyone's attention, the peculiar voice sounded familiar which broke me from my conversation, and I looked up. Time gave me a small doubt and has he begun the program i still could not believe it was Arjun. He looked at me time and again, giving me a sensation it was him. A slight shiver went down my spine when i told myself to relax, it was not like he was going to talk to me.

The orientation program began, and much to my surprise Arjun began to engage the audience and before I knew it a voice and dark beautiful brown eyes came towards me and said, "yes, you, what is your name?" and before I opened my mouth to answer the question that came to me, he said, "Rupali, right?" In complete shock I was left in dismay and just nodded with anxiety. The conversation continued and I could still not believe it, it amazed me that he even knew my name. I ran home that day and reached out for my brown hand made diary where I jotted all the things that broadened my smile, my diary was very special to me, my Dadi Ma, gave it to me specially on my 18th Birthday and wrote me a very special message say "Life will from now on, give you many special moments to write down in this diary now" and so it did. After a long and tiring and rather eventful day I ran to my bed and called for a beautiful nap hoping to dream about what seemed a dream.

On my first day on my MA program, I bumped into Arjun, before I knew it he smiled at me and asked me what I was doing, having explained that, he told me he was working as the junior management consultant at this college. He told me his duties in charge and also told me it would be lovely if he saw me again. As history repeats, I again ran back home to my brown leather diary and wrote my happenings of the day, but this time is decided to go through my books a little before I went to sleep. Indeed, my first week into my MA program brought a new change in me, AMMA too was happy to see me diverting into different things, other than my books.

That time, of my life finally came, when the first boy of my life had ever asked me to go out for a date with him, and that too Arjun, and i agreed, that night Arjun was going to pick me up at half past eight o clock and we were going to India Gate, Arjun, loved going to such places, it often soothing to him he explained, I ran through my wardrobe and couldn't find something to wear, everything i had didn't intrigue me and i decided to run into the next door mall and treat myself to a new dress, I finally went to BIBA, a new Indian clothes store and found myself a pretty in pink with red zardosi work Anarkali and without a thought bought it. The guy at the cash counter complimented me which left me thinking, "Maam, you have very pretty eyes". I finally started realizing what god had blessed me with, beautiful features but me being me had never bothered about them before. So I decided to go to the nearby make up store and make some Kajal and a light Blush on that suited my Skin color.

Before I knew it, I realized I had to rush home to get ready and leave for my so called date, i quickly went in for my shower and started drying my hair, looking at the time worried me in was 8pm and Arjun was to be hear at 8 30pm. I quickly wore my pink Anarkali and put on my make up. I still felt look was incomplete and so I turned toward Amma, who was standing at door with beautiful Gold jhumkas. My silence spoke and she knew I was going to meet someone special and so the effort, she was happy to see me happy and wished me luck and yes, you are right, she did tell me to be safe and be back on time, i agreed and rand down the step draping my duppata on my shoulders as i heard Arjun blowing the horn outside my window. My gold jhuttis somehow attracted my eyes, in the dim light of the night. I felt happy for the first time.

I greeted Arjun with a long silence, but his silence defeated silence as he gave me a warm and tight hug, I felt as if I was meeting my best friend after years, I somehow felt I was connected to him, He somehow calmed me down and lightened my heart with a glimpse of twinkling happiness. He asked how i became so pretty over the years and I was left blushing there and couldn't control my embarrassment. He also told me how my reserved and quiet nature drew me towards him, and there I trailed off into my own thoughts but Arjun kept the conversation growing, he engaged me in a conversation like a mother engages a child in her arms. We drove and spoke about many things, our opinions varied at times but neither of us argued as to who was right or who was wrong. We spoke about our dreams and our near future as well as our family and most importantly where we had been over the years. I asked him whether he still loves to play the guitar and he agreed but also said it was his mere hobby now and his dreams and passions had changed. He also said he now has in a very comfortable place in life where he wanted to welcome somebody in his life to share his happiness with her. He wanted her dreams to be his and his dreams to be apart of her world.

Arjun never thought Rupali would be the girl he would want to make apart of his dreams, however he was a man who never thought from his mind and followed his heart like a blind man. We reached India Gate and did everything we could, We went for a small boat ride, we ran to have ice cream, we had Channa kulcha from a near by vendor and ran across India gate holding each others hands with innocence in one another's eyes wanted to shout, scream and tell the world we love each other. Something were left unsaid, Arjun that day never said he loved Rupali but whatever he said and whatever he did was enough for Rupalis eyes to see the love for her.

I came home feeling happy and content day, Amma too could sense the content in me and asked me softly and as politely as she could, "who is he?" but to avoid the embarrassment i said "he is just a friend Amma." That day I went to college a little before time, I fixed my dupatta around my neck and picked up my books to walk in but as soon as i got off the Auto and started walking, somebody held my hand and shouted today you are not going to college, even i have taken an off and before I opened my mouth to say anything he said no excuses and shut me up, i asked him, "Where are we going, Arjun, tell me something atleast." but all he said he we are going somewhere far rupali, wait for the moment and I waited, for I trusted him, he never failed to make me happy.