"Me"

"Me" Whether it was the coke or the pot, where the drugs were was my spot. I don't wanna get shot, just wanna give it all I got. It's been awhile since I've used, still misshapen from abuse, trying to get clean and live the truth, or is it all just a ruse. My brain is hazy from the dope, I'll find my own ways to cope, with no more drugs to ease my pain, I think I've lost about all hope. Nearly getting my face pistol whipped, what are you doing Nick just get a grip, guess I shouldn't have given him all that lip, at least he thought to drop the loaded clip. I reflect and feel disgusted with myself, no more trophies on the shelf, I did this all myself, it wasn't the hand that I was dealt. Discouragement in my mind, a lonely soul to glue and bind, so this is what I find, toss the core and tear my rind. Time to get straight and clean, detach myself from this fiend, no more crutch for me to lean, life's fucked is what I mean. Death seemed to claim my thoughts, increasing from the bullets I bought, it didn't mix well with the drugs that I sought. I often relive all these things, fucking PTSD, but this is where I've landed, this is just me.