My Addicted Son/Doomed From the Start?!?

So, I told you about my boring life up until I met my two youngest sons father. My oldest son's father and I had a relationship and it wasn't anything to write home about. Nothing tragic, it just didn't work out..end of story.
I met Tyler and Ryan's dad through my sister. She met him working at a Village Pantry Convenience store where he was assistant manager.
She thought he looked my type and, after getting to know him briefly, decided to invite him over for a game of cards and invited me as well. We hit it off pretty well and started seeing each other. Have you ever heard the saying that a leopard can't change his spots? Well, they can't, but they can sure hide their true colors for as long as they need to. I ended up pregnant with Tyler and we got married. My oldest son was 3 at the time.
He ended up getting fired from Village Pantry because, as it turns out, he likes to steal. And he stole everything he could get his hands on. It didn't matter what it was. He also got fired from every job he ever had because he doesn't play well with others or he got fired for stealing. Now, keep in mind the background that I come from. He is OCD, I think anyway, and the cleanest freak I have ever met. One time my oldest son David, left his boots in the living room floor and he wanted David to pick them up. David, being a kid, didn't pick them up and so his step father, we will call him Steve cause thats his name anyway, took one of the boots and smacked him on the head with it. Now, it wasn't a hard smack by any means.
As time went on I found out his true nature. By rights, that marriage should have ended after the first year, but I was bound and determined to make it work because I didn't want to end up like my dad. He probably had 16 jobs when we were married, some of them really good jobs. He got fired from all of them. He never quit. Some of them were really good jobs too. I was always the stable one, always had a job and ended up being the provider. But I never earned much money and taking care of a family of 5 on my income was pretty rough. Tyler had to wear glasses from when he was 9 months old. He is extremely far sighted and one of his eyes cross. His dad was pretty mad about that, and I never understood why you would be mad about a little kids eyesight not being good. He was adorable in his glasses. One time we got into an argument about God knows what, and he did not speak to me for 2 whole weeks. Acted like I didn't exist. My oldest son David, when he got to be a teenager, became lazy like I did when I was a teenager and every other teenager. One day, Steve went into his bedroom and it was a mess. So he took everything that was on the floor and put it on top of Davids bed. He also took the trash can and dumped it on top of Davids bed. I was so mad I couldn't stand it. One time when Tyler was about 14 years old, Steves brother stayed with us. Steve and his brother were playing a video game and Tyler and his cousin were walking through (we lived in a small trailer at the time). So, on their way to the kitchen, they walked in front of the TV. Steve lost the video game and blamed Tyler. Tyler told him it wasn't his fault and they got into a genuine argument. As they were walking back down the hall, Steve picked up one of those heavy metal flashlights, told Ross to duck and proceeded to fling it at Tyler. It hit his wrist and he was lucky it didn't break it. At one point, we decided to get a fresh start and moved to Arizona. The fresh start didn't last very long because he still couldn't hold down a job. After moving a couple of times, we decided to come back to Indiana. My sister was there and she let us stay with her for a little while until we found jobs. We moved around alot from start to finish. My kids never went to the same school system for more that a couple of years. They always had to start over and make new friends. There were times when I had to make a choice of paying rent or buying food for the kids and the food always won. But if I had to do it all again, the rent would have won. You can always find someone to help get you food.
I found out one day that, when Steve was a kid, he was horribly abused by his mother. Both his mother and father were alcoholics, but his mother did all of the abusing and there are some stories that make my skin crawl. He was a heavy drinker for awhile and his sisters did drugs.
Steve was diagnosed with bi-polar and sometimes I wonder if that can be passed down to your kids cause there are times when Tyler sure seems like he could be. My life with him was a roller coaster that never stopped. The company that I worked for was bought by the company that I am employed with now. They offered me a job, but I had to move from Indiana to Ohio. I wanted to keep my job because it is a good job. I agreed to go. NO one was happy about the move. My oldest son was already in the army so it didn't affect him. We came out to Ohio to check out the area and the place that I had picked out to live. It was a super nice duplex in the North Canton area. The North Canton school system is a good school system and the high school is in the top 5 percent in the country. When we walked into the duplex I had picked out, no one said anything...not one word. Nothing. I felt horrible. But I was still going to make this move. As it turns out, Steve was in trouble for stealing at the warehouse he worked for, a job my brother in law was kind enough to get for him as he was the account manager. Tyler also was in trouble and was in the juvenile detention center. The company paid for our move and the moving company came and packed up all of our stuff and put it in the truck. They put me up in a hotel for the night. I was going to be the only one moving I guess. Steve had to stay behind because of the law trouble and wasn't allowed to leave the state. The night before the move, my youngest son, Ryan, who was getting ready to go into the 8th grade, came up to me and said "mom, I'll go with you". So, off we went. We moved a couple of times since I lived out here because I decided that, once I got here and it was just Ryan and me, I found I could breathe. There was stability and love with just the 2 of us. Mother and son. Even when I did move, I promised myself that Ryan would never change schools. The friends that he started with would be the friends that he graduated with and I lived up to that promise. It may seem like a small, silly thing, but for me it was big. My kids never went to the same school for more than 2 years. I grew up like that. I never had stability either. Oh, I always lived in the same house and went to the same school, but never had the same people in my life for more than a few years. When Tyler got out of the detention center, I had him come out and live with me. He was 16 at the time. He even enrolled in school for a little bit,but it was going to take him forever to catch up. Little did I know, he never would. He didn't finish school. He did get a GED with honors though. The whole time we lived in Ohio, while Ryan was still in school, his dad visited him once. The rest of the time he was in jail or working to try and support himself. He even sent a letter to Ryan one time and put the blame on him for their failed relationship. He was at 2 major functions in Ryan's life, his high school graduation and his basic training graduation. That was it. And he wonders why they don't have a relationship. He told me one time to tell Ryan to get a shoe box and fill it with memories because he wasn't going to be around forever. I told him that the shoebox is his to fill with memories for Ryan, and with him. He has to create those memories. When Tyler finally got there, I was so happy he was there...then all hell broke loose.