Boulevard of Broken Dreams

The sun hung high in the sky as I meandered down the long forgotten street. My hair was matted to my head, a bead of sweat rolled down my face. There was no end to this road in sight, it stretched on for miles and miles it seemed. There were no turns nor was there any way to get off of it.

"What happened to law school?" A child-like voice asked me. Startled I turned to each side and looked behind me but there was no one there. A snickering behind me caught my attention but again there was no one there. "You won't find me because I no longer exist.

Before I could respond, a memory floated into my head. It was one that I had blocked out for many years and it was not one that I wanted to deal with now. It appeared as though I had no choice in the matter. Out of nowhere a huge projection appeared in front of me, like a movie screen.

There I was, five years old, at my Father's funeral. Tears fell from both my and my mother's faces. Even with her cheeks stained with tears, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her dark blonde hair was brushed, and the dress she wore hugged her frame without being sexy.

"Your Daddy loved you very much honey. He died trying to make the world a better place for you." She pulled me closer to her that hug felt like a blanket on a cold winter's day. "Now he will always be with us, looking out for us in a different way."

"I'm gonna be a lawyer just like Daddy was. I'm gonna save the world, just like he was." After pulling myself away from my Mom, I ran to the casket. Daddy was whiter than I had ever seen him, but his lips seemed to be smiling a little bit. "I'm gonna make you proud, daddy."

But I didn't make him proud. I hadn't made anyone proud of me. After I met Anna, I had pulled away from my Mom. Then she didn't like my friends, so I stopped talking to them too. The only person who mattered was Anna and I wanted to make her happy. Everything I did was to make her happy, and even that wasn't enough. Another voice, this one I recognized as my own, whispered, "You really messed up this time. Everyone warned you but you knew better."

The scene of my Father's funeral stopped and it switched to the party I had just been at. My eyes were glued to the screen, even though everything in my body wanted to look away.

Anna was next to me but flirting with a guy across from her. There were 6 of us in a circle and she kept batting her eyes at this guy and telling him how hot he was. That was when he pulled out a needle and stuck it in his arm. He passed the needle to me and I tried to pass it to someone else but Anna rolled her eyes, "Pansy. This is why we have to break up."

Despite my better sense, searched for a vein and plunged the needle into it. The reaction was instant, I fell to the ground and felt sicker than I ever had in my life. Laughter surrounded me as the darkness took over.

A single tear fell from my eye. It took me a minute to realize that it wasn't because of my current state but rather because Anna had laughed at me. She was probably with the cool guy now, doing things that she promised to do with me but never did.

"And that my son is why you will not get a second chance at life." Everything stopped around me. This time the voice belonged to the one person that I had always wanted to speak to but never had another chance to, it was my Dad. "You chased the wrong woman. There were plenty of young ladies that appealed to you but you chose to follow the one to college that you thought would be the easiest to get what you wanted. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. Here is a look at your future son."

My mother was outside in a cemetery. The sun was shining and there were other mourners around but no one but my mom was by my grave. Once again her eyes were rimmed red. She tried to wipe away another tear but more fell. Gently she placed a yellow rose on my grave.

"There has to be something that I can do to change this."

"You can't un-take the drugs son. There is no changing the past."