The Accident

I was finishing up the dishes when I got the call. It was from my best friend Sara, she sounded weird but she said she was stopping by to pick me up. I was supposed to ride along with her but she wouldn’t say where. Until she showed up and I saw the look on her face, I really didn’t think there was something wrong. She had a fake, scary smile plastered to her face and she couldn’t give me a clear answer on where we were going. As we passed highway exits that lead to all of our usual stops without getting off, I started to worry. When we got off the exit that I knew lead to the hospital, I was near tears but still afraid to ask her what was up. Instead I forged ahead with my cheery chattering, hoping it would change whatever I was in store for. Of course my mind was running wild with all of the possibilities. I had no idea for sure if we were heading to the hospital because every time I asked her she would force out a laugh and with a wave of her hand brush it off and say everything was fine and not to worry. I was starting to fully panic with all of the possibilities when we made the turn into the hospital on the hill. I think I may have moaned a little.

I finally said to her, begging “Sara, please tell me whats going on. You not telling me is worse than just laying it out there.”

She just patted my hand and told me again not to worry.


We walked into the hospital, Sara went to the big round information desk to find out where we needed to go. I was numb. There were so many reasons for my numbness. I couldn’t believe it was him. Of all people in my world, why him? I guess the way I felt about him and him about me was evident in the fact that I was here. He didn’t call me here, he couldn’t call anyone here but his family did and I had never even met them. I had no idea what our relationship was at any point, if there was even a relationship. We were friends. Sort of. It was complicated, way complicated.
Sara finally came over to me with directions on which way to go in this mammoth of a hospital. The smell of the place mingled with all of the emotions I was feeling made me feel nauseous. She steered me down one hallway after another. I was lost and disoriented. Finally we came to a waiting room that was overflowing with people. I knew without having to be told they were his family. I had never met any of them but his brothers were the spitting image of him, seeing them broke my heart even more. They saw me as I saw them, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do or say, I didn’t know if they knew I had even existed until that point.
Luckily, Susan and Michelle were there, I saw them huddled in a corner with people I imagined to be his parents. I was getting more uncomfortable with each passing second, I could feel the rest of his family just watching me and I still had no idea what had happened and I didn’t know who to ask. Finally, Susan looked up and caught my eye and I saw the tears slip from her eyes. That was all it took, for me to see Susan, the strong one, the one always in charge of any situation, fall apart. I knew it wasn’t good.

My eyes immediately started to fill with tears and I left out a sob, shaking my head no. Susan came and wrapped her arms around me, not saying anything, just holding me and patting my hair. I knew everyone was watching us and at that point I just didn’t care what anyone thought. Susan & Sam were best friends at the office, though she had retired three years before they still kept in touch and she was always there to lend a hand or ear whenever Sam needed it. Susan was 30 years older than Sam & I, she was a blast to hang around but tough. I knew Susan knew how I felt about Sam before I had even admitted to myself how I felt about him and that was 4 years ago.

We finally pulled apart, I looked at her, needing to know what happened but I couldn’t make myself form the words. Finally, knowing what I wanted to ask but couldn’t she said he was in an accident. He driving and apparently looked down to change a song on his phone. Someone coming the other way ran their stop sign and hit him. He was hurt pretty bad, she started listing everything that was broken but I just put my hand up to stop her, shaking my head. I was starting to feel sick because there was a question I needed answered but I didn’t want to ask it.

I took a deep breath, “Is he going to be…ok?” I said.

“At this point its wait and see, they just don’t know. Right now they have him in a medically induced coma because he has just so many injuries.” Susan said.

I could hear a sob escape from someone behind me. I had forgotten anyone else was in the room, it had all come back to me that his entire family was standing around watching this unfold and probably wondering who in the hell I was. I really didn’t have the energy at that point to explain anything to anyone. I really just wanted to sit in the corner and wait until I could see him. I knew though if I was going to see him I had to meet his family.