Fuzzy Memories

Fuzzy Memories:

"Ohhh" I moaned "My head is killing me... what the hell happened yesterday" I tried but I couldn't remember a single thing about the past 14 hours of my life. I looked down to see my clothes soaked in what appeared to be blood and after a two minute period of trying to separate myself from my coat and other accessories as fast as I could whilst shrieking like a banshee. I looked at the clothes that lay like a red moss had blossomed onto my laminated wood flooring just for me to blink and the clothes to return to normal, as if there had never been anything wrong with them in the first place I laughed at my original panic and put it down to my dehydration and the after effects of what I had probably drunk the night before. I really had to stop now the drinking thing had not been getting any better since my friend died last year and since then I just started to drift away from everything I lost interest in most things, my boss apparently didn't appear to appreciate my style of mourning and after a month I was fired from my job and left with practically nothing left... now that I think of it even the inheritance is starting to dry up, not having any form of income will do that to a person. Now that Josh is gone I feel like I have develop a way of coping and while not exactly healthy I feel that talking to myself is a way for me to pretend that I'm not just alone, anyway a therapist would only add to the amount of costs that I have way too much of compared to the money I have very little left of and it's not like I'm hurting anyone anyway.
After the panic in the morning I decided to make myself a glass of water and sit down and get the hangover out of my system but before any of that happened the universe decide that it still hated my for no good reason and decided to break my plumbing so that instead of fresh water this green gunk stuff was shot out of the tap and after swearing profusely and turning off the tap I started to clean up and instead went to the fridge to see what I could possibly have to calm down my now aching throat, knowing that I'd now have to also pay a stupid price in order to get a plumber to fix an easy problem I'd have to attempt to fix it later but for now the only appealing thing that stared back at me from the dim glow of the fridge light was a selection of various ciders and beers but my moral compass prevailed and I settled for some juice in the fridge door reminding myself that the objective was to remove the headache not make it even worse and took a long drink to silence the throbbing of my skull like so many other mornings this month and just like those other mornings I once again promised myself that last night would be the LAST NIGHT that I do something so stupid again and I settled down in the front room only to catch a glimpse of something I cannot quite describe in the mirror but as I walked back nothing was there needless to say but I got into the front room and closed the door behind me to prevent anything else from following me, I was still on edge from this morning and now I had to decide what I would do for the rest of the day or at least until my brain would stop screaming in pain which lasted for another half an hour before it calmed to a dull but ignorable drumming in the back of my mind.
After the small self-administered hangover medicine was done I decided it was time for a walk the fresh air may help me in the headache and it would be good to have the time to just zone out and sort out the wall of blank that had replaced last night's memories. The walk was not as calming as I expected as every now and then I could hear strange voices hidden between the songs I was listening to not enough to hear what was being said but loud enough to know that they were there but it would keep silent whenever I removed the earphones and I don't think I have to say that I thought it might be best to listen to nature instead dismissing it as my earphones going on the blink again but after the morning I had I was not about to take any chance. Then as if that was not bad enough I could see someone following me wherever I went just on the outskirts of my vision but always there and when I would sneak a look there would be nothing there and I was not in the mood for some robber to come out of nowhere when I was walking through an ally to take all my valuables so I noticeably increased my pace to that of a brisk jog making it back home more panicked and scatter-brained then when I had left this dump. I shook myself out of a tired stupor a few hours later to find a knife in my hand that was about ready to slice through my other hand like a damn cucumber, maybe I might just organize for that psychiatrist because if this is what happens now I don't really want to see this thing get any worse so I decided to collect a short list of 'symptoms' that I had managed to develop over the short few hours that I had been awake that compromised of Hallucinations, paranoia and now some form of unknowing self-harm. I looked at the list and instantly started to look at local therapists or anyone who could help in the local area to assist the new mentally deranged person on the block originally I would have spared no expense but then I saw the expense and decided it would be better deranged and homed rather than sane and homeless. Eventually I managed to find one a new therapist setting up not too far from here with actual available prices for someone who has my condition (whatever it is) would have I had made an appointment for Saturday so I just had to survive from myself for two days while he set up his psychology stuff not that I knew what that entailed myself but I was willing to bet that it was going to be worth the wait despite the danger.
I had to tie down my left arm as I slept as it kept trying to damage me whenever I was not looking so that was defiantly an unforgettable experience only to finally get to sleep around 3:30AM just to have an excruciating nightmare that I found that I could not remember only to wake up scared and sweating at 4:00AM, I groaned at the display and tried to get back to sleep only to receive another horrifying nightmare that I remembered of me being assaulted by a beast that could only be described as monstrous and as large as the planet perhaps even more so just for it to crush me beneath its gargantuan limbs and for me to wake feeling that every bone in my body had been broken individually and slowly for what felt like an eternity I screamed at the phantom pain that was tormenting me more than any other pain could until it finally faded. I looked at the clock to be greeted by a 6:17AM which gave me little satisfaction but it was not like I was going to be able to get back to sleep.
I began to clean the dishes I had left from last night until I noticed a silhouette outside in my garden hidden from sight by the strangely dense morning fog and in my recently understandable agitated state I decided to check it out and bring a weapon just in case, the weapon consisting of a newly cleaned kitchen knife that was about as sharp as a spoon due to overuse but it would be enough to remove whatever had the nerve to stand in my garden from said garden. This was the plan but by the time I had approached the thing in question I noticed that it was not something that I could confidently class as human or even anything one would expect to find in someone's garden at close to 7 in the morning. I slinked closer struggling to creep hold of my breathing until I stopped dead once it shook and started to stand up on its hind legs like some form of grey monolith it slowly turned its grotesque head towards me and I bolted back into the house not daring to turn back as it hunted me. I ran into the safety of my house and closed the door to breathe a sigh of relief only to suck it back in as I heard scratching at the base of the door causing it to splinter so I rushed upstairs to my bedroom and barricaded the door with all that I could and started writing down what I have experienced, I hope to post it online in order to prove that if I am to die today that people will know what monster did this to me but then again with my recent delusions this could all be in my head, my fragmented and broken mind throwing up the horrors of past nightmares in order to increase my rapid descent into madness. I think I just heard it enter the house a few minutes ago but I must know if it is real or not so I'm going to face my fears real or not and if it is real probably pay the price for my stupidity.

E-mail received at 8:53 AM from (Raymond [e-mail])