PicNic Party

PicNic Party

Tasneem Hameed

 
And after twenty years of thinking I decided to go for the plunge at last. Being a great a patriot I always wanted to serve my country in the best possible way and to use my intelligence and later also experience to bring positive changes in the life of compatriots and what could be a better way than by becoming a political leader.  Previously every time I thought about it, mental blockades came in my way. It is risky, it requires a lot of money, it is known as a dirty business, how will I manage my time between my employment and politics, may be my family life will suffer and many others. But once I retired from service some of  the hurdles looked surmountable and I took the decision to join politics by becoming  member of some political party. Which party to join ? That was the next decision to be made. What about the ruling party, no that was receiving daily bashing from media and people for their corruption. When I put this question to a person known for his political expertise he replied that I should read the manifestos of all the parties and join  the one whose views were closer to mine. There were more than one hundred parties so the task was difficult, therefore, I decided to go through the manifestos of nine more well known parties. After having read all the nine manifestos it appeared to me that all were written by one and the same person with not much difference. What to do? Another wise man helped out by proposing the most objective and impartial way, draw from a lot. I did that and got the name of Peoples Independent Courageous National Ideological Compatriots Party abbreviated as PICNIC Party.
The next day I visited the local office of the party and was received by a humorous looking  person calling himself office secretary. On my showing my intentions of joining his party he reciprocated by first showing his teeth in happiness and then took out a four page form which he called membership form and asked me to fill it. When I told him that it was too lengthy he replied that I may hand over a copy of my National Identity Card and he would himself got it filled. On my inquiry what the form contained he replied that it comprised in addition to personal data, my thinking on different national and international issues and examples of my achievements in politics. I gave copy of my NIC and asked about what was the next step.  âPay Rs 5000/ membership fee,â he answered. I obliged. He then told me that I could check about approval of membership after a week.
A week later I returned to the office and was congratulated by the office secretary on the approval of my membership. He also told me that the Party leader was holding a public meeting in the city after ten days and I would be responsible to arrange the presence of at least hundred people for the meeting by transporting them to the meeting place as well as for their food. When I asked him who would pay for the arrangement he replied it would be my responsibility. But I have just joined how I can do that, I protested. âThis would be your first test. Politics is a tough game and you have to go through all this if you want to succeed,â he replied. âAnd if you failed, â he continued â your membership would be cancelledâ.
It was too much for me and I bluntly asked him to cancel my membership there and then and return Rs 500o/.  â Did not you read the conditions mentioned in the membership form that fee was not not refundable,â he retorted with a satirical smile.