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by DJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Comedy · #2043501
A former member of the CIA introduces himself (written July of 2011)
I may've been in the CIA, but I'm no different than you. I'm not sure that I'd even call myself a hero, although I'm sure most reasonable people would do that. They would call me that. A hero. No, I can tell you with a straight face that I'm no different, no better than any of you.

Sure, I've seen some things. I've probably seen things that would literally make your brain explode if you saw them (given that you haven't been through any of the CIA's exhaustive brain-strengthening training sessions). You're probably thinking to yourself, "I've never heard of someone's brain exploding," but what you should be thinking is, "I've never even been in the CIA so I don't know what the hell I'm even talking about."

You see, when you've been through some of the things I've been through, it puts you on a different level; it separates you from average people. It doesn't mean I'm 'better', it just means I'm smarter and stronger and faster and better.

It's not that I loathe you and get sick to my stomach at the thought of having to spend any time listening to you talk, it's just that I know that the only people who could really understand me are my CIA brothers. We formed a bond that's stronger and more true than any parent or significant other could ever hope to form. We may not hang out on the weekends, call each other on the phone, or ever communicate in any way, but I know that if I find myself in trouble, if I need a hand, or I'm at the end of my rope... that I can't contact them because of security and confidentiality reasons. That's what being in the brotherhood is all about.

But anyway, I've just moved into apartment 705 and I wanted to post this on the community bulletin board so you guys can sort of see where your new neighbor's coming from, even if you could never, ever understand it.
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