eye-contact

The eye, one of the most complicated organs ,yet , as scientists say , the most marvelously beautiful. Actually it scares me, i cant really use it as everyone does. i dont mean i am disabled. well, i cant make an eye contact. i dont know why, im not saying that im some kind of a gawky geek but you can ask my daddy's sperm, maybe they have the answer. i have always had this fear of eyes. i dont talk much to people , some see me like a freak or a weirdo but yeah i am a good listener and a very good talker... with blind people. i love talking to blind people, i feel comfortable and at ease around them, i sometimes close my eyes while talking to them, it feels more...honest. i always look down while speaking with others observing their shoes. i ve seen a lot of shoes in my life that no one else has. i even mastered a new skill. i can tell a lot about a person just by looking at his/her shoes. i think i love shoes more than people. maybe thats why i dont have a lot of friends. the "shoes-game" looks more interesting.
i was sitting at a park bench, putting my headphones, enjoying my coldplay 's playlist, when suddenly
i heard a whisper " is.......thr.......one......he" i took off my headphone, eyes on the ground watching a girl's sandal next to me covering a small white feet. this time , i gathered all my experience with shoes but i couldnt tell anything about the girl. it was "special". where are my shoes-game skills? how cant i succeed in the only thing i master? i wanted to see who this girl is, i just wanted to move my neck and see this special girl. for the first time in my life i wanted to see more than just a shoe. but i was afraid... afraid of her eyes. why am i so afraid ? she is just stranger. why cant i just look at her and say hi. why is it so hard? pull yourself together. just this time, just be a man. do it . you can do it. maybe this time you really need to look above. but why i feel like i need to see her? did i fall in love with her shoes? did i? whats going on with me?. i raised my head slowly and carefully, trying to overcome my fears. her legs...up to her knees...up to her blue jean short... then her pink lovely tee-shirt....her neck. and as i looked at her face trying to avoid her eyes as much as possible. that was epic for me like the greatest historical achievement. i felt like i need an award. i said "hi", she was surprised. maybe even chocked . now i got it . i understood. i smiled. "oh , sorry , i just asked earlier if there was anyone here and no one answered, so sorry" she replied.
she was blind and i was... happily relieved.