Dark Intimacy

Benjamin's Point of View
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I stood up in front of the mirror, examining the mess that I always seem to be. I looked ragged, messy, unclean. I looked as if I never showered, never bathed a day in my life. I had long, shaggy, wavy dark brown hair that went down to my shoulders. I always covered my face with a ski mask. I never liked anyone to see my face, because of what happened five years ago. Five years ago, I was at the age of twenty-two. I lived in an apartment in Colorado Springs. I always loved the view, but I hated how expensive the apartment was, but that was only a minor issue. I was sitting on my bed one day, about to get ready for work, when my apartment caught on fire. Someone threw in a bottle of alcohol through the window, making the whole window break. Then that same person, who was a male, threw in fireworks and watched as I barely made it out of the room alive. The smoke almost killed me. I managed to get out of the room, head downstairs, and bust through the emergency exit. The only problem was that my coat was in flames, and it made its way to my face before I could get the chance to shove myself into the snow. I went to the hospital, and stayed there until they said that my burns were okay, which was about a few weeks later. I got the major bill from the hospital, and I had to work to pay it off. My coworkers that I worked with, made fun of me on a daily basis, until I paid off the bill and left. I left for a reason, to get away from everyone that could possibly hurt me. I never focused on what people called "love," nor did I want it. All it would do is cause me to be hurt again, worse than ever. I stayed focused on myself, which was the reason why I moved. I didn't have to pay for anything else, just for the upfront cost of the house, which was paid four years ago. I didn't use electricity, I used water. But I only got it from the waterfall behind my house. I looked up at myself; my eyes pale blue, my clothes ripped and torn. I didn't have many clothes that I could wear every day. I never went out to the grocery store, due to the fact that I didn't have money. I didn't ever want to go to the store either. I grew my own food, mostly vegetarian food. I had a couple pigs out back, which I feed, but I don't normally have any. I found them one night while doing my nightly chores around my yard. My shoes had gotten to the point where they were barely on my feet. They were torn and beaten. I sighed, knowing that I was a mess. I didn't want to be a mess, but life has made me that way. I have been beaten, torn apart, burned, and basically molded into the person that I am today. There was a house next to mine, but no one ever moved there. There was a few people that would come out here and look at the house, whom I wouldn't mess with because they weren't on my property, but they would take one look at me and walk away. They didn't like me, no one did, and no one will. Which is the reason why I do the things I do. People mess with me, they get my bad side. I shrugged my shoulders. My body was very muscular, but not too much to where it would be like the bodybuilders on the magazines. I was built to kill, and that was my passion. I walked out of my room, walking through my house, making sure that nothing was positioned wrong. I was very OCD.
My house was a nice, two story house. It had a basement, which I used for all of my weapons. I cleaned them there, sharpened them, and tortured people there. I had two bedrooms, and three bathrooms. I had a lively living room, with leather couches, and a well kept up kitchen. I kept my house clean; it looked as if I had just moved in. No one ever came into my house, unless I dragged them in. I laughed at that thought, walking into the only bathroom that I ever used. It was the bathroom that was right beside my bedroom. I closed and locked the bathroom door. I took off my mask, turning up some heavy metal music, and turning on the hot water to the shower. I needed to wash my hair good tonight, I thought to myself. I hated looking like a mess, but when there's no one to impress, I barely wash. That was when I realized that I wanted love, but I was afraid, afraid of loving someone and then her leaving. I sighed, taking off my clothes and getting into the shower. I washed my face first, scrubbing all the dirt and mud off of my face. I did the same to the rest of my body, making sure to wash myself really good. I got out, letting the music still play, drying my hair first before the rest of my body. I dried my hair off, quickly putting clean clothes on, brushed my teeth, and started walking into the hallway, when I heard some noise outside. I sighed, getting my shoes on, and glancing at my watch. It was almost midnight. Who was outside? I wondered quietly, lighting a candle with a match and walking over to my front door. I looked out the peephole and saw that there was someone looking at the house next door. I ran over to the bathroom, turning off the music, and looked outside again. There was a woman, looking slim and kind. She was talking quietly, making it hard for me to understand what she was saying. I opened the door, walking outside, directly walking over to her. The porch light on the house was lit, so I could see her. There was a man, whom I didn't know if he was with her or not, as in dating. But he was telling her how much the house was; $200,000. But she shrugged her shoulders.
"That seems alright. It's a nice house. I think that I want to live here." She smiled.
I finally walked up to her, and stood beside her, not knowing what to say. She was gorgeous. Her bright green eyes, slim body, but she still managed to have curves. Her voice was elegant and kind. I wanted to know her. Why was it so hard to just say hello?
She stared directly at me, with a smile. "So, you're the neighbor that he was talking about?" She nudged me in the side, turning towards the man who showed her the house. "He's not as bad as you say." She stated. "He doesn't look bad, why does everyone think negatively towards him?" She asked it as if I wasn't standing there.
"Because I'm not a good person." I stated, regretting to tell her the truth. But I'd rather her know now, before it gets out of hand. My hand was shaking while holding the candle. It wasn't cold outside, I was just beyond nervous. "Umm, I'm sorry. But it's true. But you're welcome to stay here. I won't bother you." I promised, bowing my head, looking straight at my feet. "I'll go, it's nice meeting you." I held out my hand to shake.
"I'm Iris." She smiled. "And you are?" She asked.
Her voice never got old, I could listen to it all day. "I'm Benjamin."
She shook my hand, nodded, and lightly hugged me. "You seem fine to me." She whispered, letting me go, and talking to the guy about payment options.
I walked back over to my house, not believing how much she already means to me. I opened my door, walking inside, closing it behind me and locking it. "I need alcohol." I sighed, taking my shoes off and walking over to the kitchen. I opened the pantry and picked up an old bottle of alcohol, opening it with my bare hands and drinking it from the bottle. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my IPod and speakers, walking back into the kitchen. I plugged it up and turned up my music, singing along to the random, wierd songs I loved. I drank until the bottle was gone, and I was beyond drunk. It was a huge bottle. I unplugged the speakers, staggering towards my bedroom. I got through the threshold and passed out on the hardwood flooring.
When I awoke in the afternoon, I had a really bad migraine. And there was a pounding noise that wouldn't go away. I sat up, looking confused, then realizing that someone was at my front door. Maybe whoever it is will go away after a few minutes. Then I thought for a minute.. What if it was that woman? I asked myself, immediately getting up, ignoring my migraine, and walking slowly over to the front door. Whoever it was, stopped knocking right before I opened the door. Surely enough, it was her. She looked stunning; her beautiful long, wavy brown hair that went down to her waist. She was stunning, I still couldn't get over it, She was wearing a pair of blue jeans, with combat boots, and a Hatebreed named T-shirt. I laughed for a second. "Nice band." I pointed towards her shirt. I realized that I probably didn't look all too well. "Shit." I said out loud, rubbing my face with my hands. "I'm sorry, I look shitty right now."
She giggled, which was the cutest laugh ever. "It's okay. I wanted to tell you that if you needed anything, then I'm here for you." She held out a plate with foil over something. It was food, I could tell. "This is for you. I made them myself." She smiled.
I smiled. "Thank you. I appreciate it." I smiled, taking the plate. "When I'm done, I'll bring the plate back to you." I promised.
She hugged me tightly after I set the plate down on the desk next to me. She didn't let go for a few seconds. I squeezed her, picking her up and setting her back down. "So, I'll let you do your thing, and like I said. If you need anything, then I'm here." She let go of me and waved as she turned around and walked over to her house.
I stood there, smiling at her. "God...." I sighed, shutting the door and looking at the plate. I unwrapped the foil, revealing the chocolate chip cookies. I could tell she made them from scratch. I grabbed one and ate it, then realized that I was falling too fast for this girl. Why was I already so obsessed? Why did I have to love her? Why was she so attracted to me? Out of all people, why me? I'm basically dead inside. I sighed again, still munching on the cookie. "But this is so freaking good!" I said with a mouth full of the cookie. "God,,, She's making me forget what I have to do every night, and every day. I ran into my bedroom, closing the door behind me and quickly putting on different clothes. I slipped on my shoes and walked over to my back door. I needed to feed my pigs, so I walked outside, grabbing the mush that I always fed them, and walked over, dumping it all over, letting them eat it all. I was walking in mud and mush, but I didn't care. I grabbed the hose and washed it all out thoroughly, and then setting it back on the back porch. I sprayed my shoes with it then walked inside, looking for my gun, which was next to the bathroom, in the case. I opened the case and grabbed my shotgun with the bullets. I ran outside, walking into the woods, looking for intruders, or stray animals.