Rules For Being In Love

Rules for Being in Love

Being in love is always an amazing feeling to experience. Everything in the day is so much better like the smell of flowers and the sound of the voices coming from the park. Smiles are something that is always seen on one's face when in love. When that love comes to an end, everything turns to crap. This happened to me and I will never see the flowers he gave me ever again and I always wear headphones at the park now.

Rule #1: Don't get attached. This is the number one thing to remember when you are entering a new relationship. You never want to be seen as the clingy girlfriend or boyfriend because that just gets annoying. Trust me on this one because I was there, at the beginning, of course. I started seeing him when I was 20 and in college. I still didn't know much about the world, I mean hell, who does at that age. I saw him across the room in my first class freshman year so I knew who he was. It wasn't until sophomore year he asked me out. That is when the attachment happened because of course I have had my eye on him for the longest time so the crush on him was already present. The first couple of weeks when you go out with someone are the hardest because you never know where you stand. I would always ask him, "What are we?" He would reply in the same way, always, with, "we are hanging out and seeing where it leads." That pissed me off. I wanted an answer. And eventually, I got it.

Rule # 2: Make sure you talk, not scream. Now, when you have your first fight, it can get a little intense. You need to make sure you have a level head when you are entering this talk. If they come at you and start yelling, keep your voice calm. If you start to raise your voice and notice it, get a glass of water or take a break from talking and go for a walk. If the walk can't happen, just sit down and listen to what they are saying to you because you could find a solution to the problem. We had a fight once. It was over something really stupid, like every other fight we had since the first one. We both were going into our last year of college and we wanted to get an apartment together. We started making plans and looking at how much it'll cost us to get. Then he snapped. His face got all red. He was frustrated at all of this planning and not getting anywhere with. He was taking all of his frustration out on me and I just took it because I didn't know what to say to calm him down. I think he was mad at me because I wasn't yelling back at him to be honest. I just sat there and looked at him as he paced in his dorm yelling. Thank god his roommate wasn't there for that one because it would have been very uncomfortable for him.

Rule # 3: Talk like adults, play like children. Take this one to heart. Playing is all fun and games but if you can't act like an adult when you talk about something serious, then you are doing it wrong. We played all the time like two 12 year olds who have a crush on each other but never did anything about it. We chase each other around our house and I always caught him even though he let me. He always initiated tickle fights and would go to about the point where I couldn't breathe or I said uncle. We had so many food fights which was always a bad idea when it came to cleaning it after the ten minutes we had it for. We acted like children most of the time, but this is why we got a long so well. We knew how to have fun but we also knew when it was time to have our serious inside voice on. We always had long talks about our life together and where we wanted to see it lead to.

Rule # 4: It's okay not to be together every second of every day. I can't stress this one enough especially coming from my first rule. You don't want to be that person who texts or calls your significant other and asks where they are all the time or what they are doing. You can do your own thing and that is what makes a relationship so easy and it makes it work. Don't get me wrong, I loved being with him all of the time, but he got antsy and so did I, when we spent too much time together. Especially since we were living together at the time, we wanted time away for a little while. This doesn't mean breaking up or going on a break. In any sense. We love each other. We had fights but we never broke up. There was a time where we both wanted to get away so I decided to take a trip to my parent's house and he decided to visit his parents. We rode together and since he was going to go through my town anyways, he dropped me off at my parents' house. We were going to stay for about a week. We got there on a Sunday and my mom was thrilled to have me.

         It was on a Tuesday at 8:45pm that I found out from his mom. I couldn't mentally process this fact because I was too busy having my heart torn out of my chest. She told me that he was in an accident and they said it didn't look too good. All I heard was ringing and words being blurred in my ear. I dropped to the floor. She tried talking to me and trying to get a response, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I just sat there. I wasn't crying, no not yet. This feeling I had was beyond just the normal tears. It was the feeling of drowning and not being able to breathe, because I couldn't. My phone just dropped out of my hand because I lost all of the muscle strength to hold on to it. I felt my whole world collapsing all around me and I was there, watching it happen, not being all to do anything about it. I sat in this position for hours, then it sunk in. The tears came at the point and never stopped since.

         I called my mom to bring me to the hospital but I could barely get a word out without breaking down in tears. The words escaped me somehow.

We showed up just before he would lose the fight. He would always watch these wrestling matches on T.V. and I would watch with him commenting on all of the things that I thought those men were going to break. He loved it and wished he could fight someday. Not in a wrestling fight but just to say he fought someone. He never knew that he would be right, but instead of fighting someone else, he was fighting with himself. I ran to the room to where his family was already waiting for me to arrive. His mother grabbed me into a hug and I cried into her shirt. His father, the man who never cried and never showed emotion, cried with me in agony. We looked upon him like we were watching it happen to someone else and this wasn't real. At any moment now I could wake up and it will be a memory. But I didn't wake up and it will become a memory, but this was entirely real. He was bruised everywhere. His eyes where puffy, but his hands were prefect. They were very pale, but perfect. I walked over to his side and held the hand that once held back for it won't happen again. My hearing went blurry and I paid attention to his heart rate monitor. I controlled my breathing to match up with his to pretend something was normal.

He was, is, the love of my life and that won't change. We were never married but in love. We were sometimes alone but always together. I am celebrating what would have been our 14th anniversary tomorrow. He will always be with me and sometimes I get those glimpses whether they are in my dreams of out of the corner of my eye, I know he is watching me. Even years later, he always brings tears to my eyes and a smile on my face. He was 27 years old and he died knowing he was loved deeply.

My last rule for you all is a very special one and it doesn't include just for relationships but everything in general. Rule # 5: Never take your life for granted.