18+ Some darker days have come, and at the end of each I am left wondering. |
-On This Day- by Keaton Foster On this day In such a way Death was faced The end Wholeheartedly embraced Not for a second Was I afraid This heart empty Of lesser concern This crowded mind Devoid of doubt Are without question Both ready Overoptimistic It could be said But not by me With great ease I placed the gun In my mouth The metal was cold The barrel like stone Pulling the hammer back I was one step closer One more Than ever before Resting my finger Upon the trigger I was sure this was it No pain would I feel No sound would resound It would just be something Than a sweeter nothing How could I miss In no way could I fail The slug would no doubt Obliterate my mind Severing the cord Shattering The conceptual nonsense Of this existence I was ready With greater ease I squeezed the trigger The hammer fell Faster than the thought And question of “what if” But instead I was not dead Still of this world Trapped in this hell It was not my time Even If I wished it was Because No bullet came out No sound was unheard Nothing happened Nothing at all On this day I tried to take my life But as before Regardless of my plan The implementation And the thoughtful nature In which I was convinced Again I failed My weapon One that I Have owned for years One that I Have placed to my skull On more than a few occasions Had somehow malfunctioned The firing mechanism Had broken Dare I call it Divine intervention Or at least Mechanical dereliction Sure I could still use it But beating myself to death With the equivalent Of a paper weight Sounds rather unpleasant So I’ll for now remain As is On this day I planned to die But here I am alive Maybe tomorrow Will be better And maybe it won’t Such distinction matters not I’ll be here to face it because Apparently I’m supposed to On this day I’m still alive… On This Day Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2015. |