Nagatsuki's Last Days

         Oh dear...oh, dear...
         That's all I'm thinking as I high-tail it down the hallway, trying to get to class on time. If I'm late again, elder sister is going to have my behind...it's her fault if I am, though, because she allowed me to oversleep...and just why do I have to take these stupid classes, anyways? I already know everything they're teaching me...if Father would just pay a little attention, I would show him...but no, all he fu-
         "Tsuki-chan...Tsuki-chan!"
         I suddenly realize I'm not running anymore - or even on the ground. I snap back to reality, realizing I had been going the wrong way the whole time. Instead of going to class, I had been wandering towards my brother's chambers, and had ended up cradled like a baby in Alec's arms.
         "Oh, shi-"
         "Tsuki-chan, what the heck were you thinking so heavily about? You didn't even realize when you crashed into me and I picked you up."
         "Sorry, Alec...I was thinking about father, and about class again...I'm sleepy...I'm late...and - HEY! Don't call me that!"
         "You know you like it, Tsuki-chan," He replies, grinning.
         "Yeah...but still..."
         "Well, you running down the hall full-speed woke me up...luckily, you didn't wake your brother."
         I kick my legs, signaling that I want down. I'm freaking out that I had awakened Alec. He wasn't the nicest person first thing in the morning, and it was worse on the days that he and his adopted elder brother Atticus spends the night at the palace. He rarely sleeps. All three of them - Alec, Atticus, and my brother - rarely did. I had forgot that they would be here the next couple of days, and that was why I had to sleep in elder sister's room instead of brother's.
         Stupid, stupid Father...
         I don't really understand why I still couldn't sleep in there when they were over. All Mother told me was that Father didn't approve of the boys because they were wolves, and commoners, and that me sleeping in the same room would just make his mood worse during their stay. But what really isn't fair is that I'm already two-hundred, and he still won't let me do what I want. I had been told that when elder sister was young, Father never gave her orders. She didn't have to do anything. Neither did brother. But me? I have to do everything, and I still have to attend classes. Well...okay...I have to take the classes because I am to take Mother's place as queen one day, with brother as King...What a messed-up family, I've always thought. But, it is the way of the purebloods. I'm a princess in the last pureblood vampire family...the Kurusagawa family rules over most of our land here in the spirit world.
         "Tsuki-chan," Alec says, bringing me out of my thoughts again. "You're going to be late for class."
         Crap...I don't want to go to class...I just want to sleep...
         "Uhm...so, brother and Atticus are still sleeping?"
         "Yeah..." Alec replies, nodding. "Why?"
         "I'm not going to class today," I say. "I'm going back to bed."
         "Let me guess..." He says, smiling a bit. "You slept by yourself last night."
         I nod. "Yeah...is the lack of sleep that obvious?"
         Alec nods. "Yep."
         "I'll have brother tell mama I fell ill overnight when he wakes."
         "You know," He says, smirking playfully. "If she heard you call her mama..."
         I sigh. "You know I don't care." I quickly change the subject. "Did you, brother, and Atticus share the bed last night? Is brother on his back or his stomach?"
         "His stomach," Alec replies. "And no, Atticus disappeared to the library early last night. It was just your brother and I in the bed. He had a feeling you'd be in here by morning, so he made sure to stay on his back and told me to move him if he rolled over...but listen...he had a..." He coughs a bit, looking away. "â¦Rough night last night, so why don't you just sleep on me instead?"
         "...Okay," I say.

         Why did I say that? Knowing that this might turn out to be a bad idea in the end? But I need sleep! And brother will probably be too sore for me to lie on him for a while, depending on how rough last night was.
         I swear, I tell myself. One day those idiots are going to kill each other.
         Ever since I was a baby, I haven't been able to sleep by myself. I have to crawl on someone's back and sleep on top of them. So, my brother allows me to every night. I don't know why it's like that; it just is. Alec and Atticus know this, so when brother can't, they let me sleep on them. Elder sister would either be too sick or too weak to let me lie on her, so when we have to share a room I sleep very little â if at all.
         Alec and I crawl slowly into bed beside brother, who is sleeping quite soundly. He probably won't be up for hours, so I know I can sleep a long time...as long as Alec doesn't need to go to the bathroom or anything.

         "Nagatsuki...wake up, but don't move or speak."
         I grunt softly, too sleepy to say anything coherent.
         "I'm slowly going to pick you up off of Alec...I want you to come with me."
         Another grunt, I open my eyes a bit, and move just enough that if Alec notices; he'll think I'm just wiggling around in my sleep. I open them further and realize that brother is picking me up. He lifts me up, and carries me into the library in his chambers.
         "Now you can talk." He says.
         "Brother, what's going on?"
         "It's already night, Nagatsuki. Mother came in only moments ago, hysterical that she couldn't find you."
         "Oh..."
         "Yeah. So, when I lifted the covers from myself, I realized you were lying on Alec. Father has summoned you!"
         "Oh great," I groan. "I'm in trouble now."
         "Well," He says. "Maybe not. I'll be going with you, but you need to get dressed first. Here, wear this." I look up, and brother is holding a little pink dress. Our bodies age slowly, but our minds age fast, and our bodies stop growing eventually. Mine was probably still small because I fell from the fourth floor window about thirty years ago. I still look like a six year-old. My family is working on finding a way to make me a few inches taller, and any day now they'll have it.
         "Nagatsuki, stop thinking to yourself and pay attention!" Brother half-hisses.
         "Sorry, brother...I blanked."
         "You're going to get yourself killed, for as little attention as you actually pay."
         I look at the dress. "Brother...its pink..."
         "Yes, I know. Look, tonight is the night that Father officially decides who will replace Mother. Please, just wear the dress, okay?"

         "Alexiel, if she doesn't like the dress..."
         I jump. I look around and realize that Atticus is sitting in a chair in the corner. He always does that...he's quiet and calm, completely different from Alec. Alec is wild.
         "Atticus, it's okay," I say. "I have to do it so that father will let me be queen, so I can be beside brother."
         It's strange...Atticus and Alec are the only ones ever to call my brother by his real name, and the only ones that call me Tsuki-chan, a nickname. I only let them call me that, though. Even brother couldn't get away with it if he wanted to.

         I finally decide to put the dress on, and go see Father. Brother carries me - the dress is a little too long, and he doesn't want me to ruin it.
         Mother and Father are talking when we enter the room. Mother has seemed sick over the last couple of days, which worries everyone. Elder sister is sitting beside Mother, and younger sister beside Father. There are four of us - my elder sister Anna, my brother Alexiel Masai, myself, and my younger sister Alexis.
         "Masai," Father says, a bit coldly. "Why are you carrying her? I am sure she can walk."
         "Sorry, Father," Brother replies. "The new dress is too long. I carried her because I did not want her to ruin it walking here."
         "Well, you are here, so put her down and come here. I have made my decision."
         Brother steps forward.
         This is the scary part. Father is in a bad mood, and my future rides on his decision.
         "Masai, it is established that you are to be king after I step down. You have accepted this, and you are happy with this decision?"
         Brother bows to one knee. "Honored Father, I am most happy that you would choose me to take your place, though I am not happy that you will step down. That will be a sad day, indeed..."
         Brother always says such sweet things to Father; he always tries to keep Father happy. I don't care to and maybe thatâs why father hates me, because I donât bow to him. I think him to cruel a man to bow to him.
         Father looks at Mother. Mother nods her head, and he signals for the others to come and stand beside Brother and myself. Elder sister and brother are beside each other. I am in front of brother, and younger sister is in front of elder sister.
         "I have news for all of you, my children," Father says.
         "What news is this, Father?" Elder sister asks in a kind of disgustingly sweet tone.
         "Your mother is with child, it will be a girl."
         Oh no. This is something to fear - more competition for my place beside brother.
         "The child shall arrive within the next week or so," Father continues. "We will advance her age properly to be Masaiâs bride."
         No. No! I'm going to lose my place beside brother because of this new child? Why? WHY? After all my hard work!
         How could Father...

         "Nagatsuki, wake up...please, Nagatsuki..."
         I let a whimper escape my lips. Darkness. I can't hear anything. I can't see anything. Everything is dark. I can somewhat feel the presence of people close to me, but I cannot be sure. I try to move. Very little movement, but I can hear again.
         "Nagatsuki..."
         "Alexiel, I don't think she's going to wake up any time soon. Let her sleep. Come on, we can go to the tavern."
         "Alec, I'm not leaving her side, okay? I need her to wake up...I need her..."
         Brother's voice breaks and I hear him begin to cry. I want to wake up, and hold him in my arms. I want to make everything better for him.
         Slowly, I am able to open my eyes. The light hurts.
         "The lights..."
         "Alexiel, she's waking! Quick, Atticus get the li-"
         Before Alec finishes, the lights are out. Atticus Flashes behind Alec. He and brother are standing over me, and brother is crying. Alec looks extremely worried. I weakly signal that I want to be sat up, and Alec quickly does just that.
         "Nagatsuki⦠are you⦠okay?"
         "I'm fine, brother...I think..." I reply softly, still a little dizzy.
         "Dear god, Tsuki-chan, you scared us to death. You should have seen the look on Atti-"
         "Alec," Atticus almost snarls interrupting Alec. "Some things are better left unsaid. Come; let us go back to our room. She and Alexiel need to talk about her father's decision."
         "Okay, okay," Alec sort of giggles. "You're irritable...maybe I can fix that in a minute..." He bursts into evil laughter.
         I try to act like I don't know what they're talking about...but I do...sadly, I do. Those two are horrible.
         "Get better, little one," Atticus says softly.
         "Yeah, Tsuki-chan, I need someone to aggravate, so get better."
         I'm looking at Atticus, trying to read the look on his face. But I can't. I give up and turn to Alec, sticking out my tongue. They all laugh, and then Atticus and Alec leave.

         "Brother...what are we to do? Father was serious. I am to lose my place beside you to a child that has not even been born."
         "She has, Nagatsuki. Mother just had her...you've been out for a day."
         "Oh, dear..."
         "Yes...oh, dear is right..." He pauses. "Look," He adds, speaking quickly and quietly. "I have something very important to do. I want you to go to elder sister's room and stay there until I come to get you. Okay?"
         "What do you have to do?" I ask.
         "I'm going to make everything right."
         He kisses me on the cheek, and disappears.

         Instead of going to elder sister's room, I go to see the new baby. She is adorable. Even if she is going to take away my future, I still can't help but love her. I pick her up from her crib, knowing that in just a few hours she is going to be the same age as I.
         "Nagatsuki, what are you doing?"
         It was Mother. She looked at me with somewhat frightened eyes; I didnât blame her for that.
         "Just seeing the new baby," I reply. "That's all" She's very beautiful, Mother, like you."
         "Look, dear, I..."
         "Mother, don't." I interrupt. "It's alright. I'm sure she'll be a better queen than I ever could have been. And she'll be better for brother. I will love her no matter what. It doesn't matter that she is taking my future and my love." It's true. I'll love her anyways.
         "Nagatsuki..." Mother says, wrapping her arms around me and holding me. "In two hours we will cast the spell. She will be of your age then; three years younger than your brother..." She pauses. "Where is he? Your father needs him."
         "I'm afraid I don't know, Mother," I say. "Sorry."
         At this, I hand the child to Mother and walk to elder sister's room to sleep.

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         Screaming...such loud screaming...whose is it?
         Oh no...It's Mother...
         "Mother?" I jump out of bed and run to the source of the screaming. The first thing I see is the baby...my little baby sister...in Mother's arms, gashed wide open. There's so much blood...it's everywhere...and Brother is holding his sword. My head spins in disbelief. I start to feel lightheaded. Brother has killed our baby sister...but why?
         "Do you see now, Father? This is the cost of your decision," Brother snarls. "You will make Nagatsuki the heir to Mother's position, or I shall kill all of my sisters."
         "I will revive her," Father says, his voice shaking, readying his hands to cast the spell.
         "You cannot," Brother replies coldly. "I have hexed this sword. None can bring her back."
         "Why, you little fool..." Father growls. "You shall die beside your sister."
         "BROTHER!" I cry.
         In a flash, Alec and Atticus appear from nowhere. Atticus grabs Father and holds him, while Alec grabs brother and pins him to the ground beside me.
         "Get...off...of...me...you filthy mutt..." Father snarls viciously. Atticus doesn't even flinch.
         "Killing each other is not the way to solve this," Alec replies, his voice cold and emotionless. "Alexiel...what have you done?"
         "I eliminated something that was in my way." Brother is shaking.
         "Why?" Alec questions. The hatred in his voice chills my blood. "And was that really the best way to go about it?"
         "YES!" brother roars.
         "You're coming with me," Alec replies quietly, picking brother up and effortlessly pinning his arms.
         "Little one...come with me, please..."
         I look around. Mother is still holding the child, her face distorted by horror and sadness. I want to hug her, but with Father in the room, I know better.
         "Atticus..." I say softly. "Can you carry me?"
         He looks down at me, a puzzling but friendly look on his face. "Certainly."
         He picks me up, and we're off.

         Atticus carries me to the library near Brother's chambers. I want to see Brother, and Alec, but Atticus mentions that he is following orders to keep me with him.
         He sits in his normal spot, still holding me. I curl up into a ball in his lap and lay there. He strokes my hair. I'm happy. I don't know why, but I'm happy...and for the first time in my life, I can say that I believe I have found someone that I love, besides my brother. It was technically two someoneâs, but they will never know. No one ever can. It would cost them their lives.
         I know that I cannot stay there any longer. If I stay, I will have to fear brother finding out how I feel for Alec and Atticus. It's my fault my little sister was murdered. I need to go, I need to leave and get away from this.
         I decide to leave the next day, while everyone is still sleeping. If all works right, I won't have to see brother or Alec before I leave. It will be easier on me that way. This is the last memory I will have of my home and family - me, curled up in Atticus's lap, enjoying his warmth.
         I start to cry. It's a very sad thought, knowing that the place I have lived for two-hundred years will be gone from my life tomorrow...forever. I have no intention whatsoever to come back. I am scared, but it has to be done. Or at least, I'm going to tell myself that.
         Atticus thinks I'm crying because of what has happened.
         "Shh..." He says quietly. "Little one...everything will be okay...I promise you, everything will be okay..."
         I say nothing, for fear that if I spoke, I would give myself away by either telling him I am leaving, or saying that I love him. I remain silent. All I do is move closer to him and give in to the sleepiness that has suddenly come over me.

         Tomorrow, I will be gone. Tomorrow, I will start a new life. Tomorrow I will have no regrets. For tomorrow, I will be free. Free from everything. Somehow, deep down, all I have ever wanted is to be free.