Eutopia

You and me

Have seen everything to see,

From Bangkok to Calgary,

And the soles of your shoes are all worn down,

The time for sleep is now.

It’s nothing to cry about

‘Cause we’ll hold each other soon

In the blackest of rooms.



-          I will follow you into the Dark

Death Cab for Cutie







Chapter 1



In The Beginning.



He could see it wasn’t the blazing red of the sunset that enforced the pallor of the angelic figure as she lay motionless on the dusty ground. His eyes were drawn to where her small hands clutched her stomach as though trying to catch the trickle of blood that flowed from the knife that still pierced her flesh. The pale blue silk of her tunic was flowered with red blossoms that bled their colour onto his hands as he fell to his knees beside her and desperately tried to staunch the flow.

‘Help her!’ the beautiful man cried brokenly as he wildly glanced around at the crowd that had gathered to gawk at the prone figure now cradled gently in his lap. ‘Please! Someone, help her!’ his hands shook as he tore a strip from his woollen tunic and pressed it to the wound in a vain attempt to stop the blood from streaming as nobody came forward to help.

‘Jinn?’ whispered a musical voice as soft and as fragile as a breeze playing through a child’s hair. ‘Hold me, please.’

‘I’m here, I’m right here.’ A sudden warm calmness emanated from the hulking figure, enveloping them both because Jinn could see that she needed his strength more than ever, as he gently held the girl’s head in his lap. His night-dark eyes smiled into hers before her lids fluttered closed and curled thick dark lashes upon her white cheeks. When her eyes opened again a moment later they shone with unfocused fervour.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ the gentle voice demanded, the question laced with a pain that went far deeper than the mortal wound.

‘Because I am a fool,’ he whispered in return, a tender thumb stroking away the tears that had gathered at the corners of the girl’s eyes and had begun to trail slowly down her pale cheeks. The crowd began to draw back and mumblings began to rumble amongst them of ‘fetch the prefect,’ and ‘Libitinarii, we need an undertaker, she’s not long for this world,’ But Jinn heard none of it as his attention was entirely focused on the dry lips that began to tremble with the effort of speaking.

‘You knew, all this time, you knew and you never told me.’

‘Yes,’ he bowed his dark head, black hair dishevelled as it fell into his eyes that were beginning to shed their own tears. ‘I wanted to protect you. I thought if you never knew then this could never happen. I’m so sorry, please forgive me?’

‘There’s nothing to forgive,’ came her answer, fainter than before. They both knew she had only moments, Jinn could feel the warm stickiness of her blood soaking through the bunched up fabric he pressed tighter still to her wounded stomach, carefully trying to avoid pushing the knife in even further though almost hoping he could force the blood back in through sheer will. The girl’s fingers twitched and he lowered his head, sheltering her fading gaze from the prying eyes of the few that remained to bear witness. His closer proximity allowed her to brush her cold fingers over his cheek, smearing her blood upon his smooth flesh.

‘Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid,’ he murmured softly, a lovers caress for her ears only as he could feel the slowing of her heart, beat by beat. He pressed his face to hers, cheek against cheek in an attempt to warm her skin with his own. His lips brushed hers, catching her ragged and shallow breath.

‘I’m not afraid,’ she whispered, the determined tone affected by her seeping strength.

‘I will wait for you, I swear. I’ll meet you again in a good place,’ he said and caught her smile with his lips, his black eyes open as he kissed her for the last time so that he caught the exact moment when her life-spark fluttered out and his heart shattered in a way he never knew it could.

 



You are too much like them.

‘I am nothing like them.’ The tone was fierce with denial, but the vainglorious head remained bowed in supplication.

Vanity is a sin. Came the slightly amused reply.

‘So is killing people.’

Everything happens for a reason.

‘Must we battle in clichés?’

You would prefer to draw swords? 



She never had liked the dark much; Eutopia had never felt comfortable in it. It was instinct after all wasn’t it, to be afraid of the dark? One would think, given that she was now out of her teens and therefore past the point of irrational hysteria she would have outgrown her childhood phobia but you would be wrong. No, Eutopia had never liked the darkness, the way it crept upon you and caressed with enforced intimacy. Tonight was definitely no exception. She came to rest for a moment in the sickly glow of an orange street lamp, slipping the heavy backpack she carried from off her shoulders and setting it down at her feet.

Eutopia had tried to travel light and she had been amazed at how neatly her life had actually fit into the bag she carried, though it still made her back ache. The girl arched her spine, kneading a small fist just below her right shoulder blade in an attempt to loosen the muscle. The walk from Covent Garden tube station had been further than she’d expected and it had now begun to drizzle and she had no coat. Great. The long sleeved grey t-shirt she wore was thin and already damp, offering little protection from the unexpected August shower. So much for the British summer, she thought. Strands of her dark hair escaped the messy knot pinned to the top of her head and they dripped drops of rain into her eyes, causing Eutopia to shove them away impatiently as she drew a much folded piece of paper from her jeans pocket. 94-99 High Holborn, Covent Garden was printed on the page, along with a small photo of a tall white building with a large, welcoming arched doorway. It was the picture that she studied now rather than the writing, and she hadn’t seen anything that matched the image so far. It was the cheap hotel that Eutopia had booked the day before (though the pictures shown of the rooms had looked rather luxurious to her) and it was her destination for this evening. Her eyes, the deep and gentle blue of sapphires scattered on black velvet, squinted a little in the poor light.

A heavy sigh slipped from Eutopia’s lips while she silently debated the benefits of trying to retrace her steps and find a cab. Her feet, tucked into her usually comfortable Airwalks were burning from the abrupt cease in movement and she could feel the prickle of blisters beginning on her soles already. If Eutopia didn’t get moving either way she felt she probably wouldn’t get going again tonight. The thought of camping out in this dirty little street definitely did not appeal to her and she suddenly flinched at a noise from an alleyway just off to her left. The unexpected bang of metal clattering to the ground sent her heart racing, her body prepared to run. Seeking what little comfort and security she could get Eutopia inched closer into the light cast by the street lamp as a cat streaked past her having, no doubt, just upturned a metal dustbin deep in the shadows behind her. However the weak glow around her seemed only to emphasise the gloom of the deserted street and it did little to still the wild thump of her heart. She’d taken a wrong turn somewhere, she’d known it as soon as the crowds of tourists searching for some late night entertainment or a bite to eat had started to thin out to a trickle. Now she found herself completely alone down a little side street with nothing around her but the occasional street lamp, a mangey-looking cat cleaning it’s stubby whiskers in the gutter having just scared the crap out of her,  and a dim looking backstreet pub on the far corner.

As she looked around again the pounding of her heart gradually returned to its usual steady beat; a sliver of warm light, widening and stretching along the pavement, spilled out from the pub along with three young men. Each one hunched over their burning cigarettes as they tried to get their nicotine fix quickly; wanting to get back inside to their pints and out of the drizzling rain. It didn’t take long for them to notice the small lone figure on the opposite side of the road.

‘Alright, sweetheart?’ the shortest of the three called with a grin, twitching the hood of his leather jacket up and casting his features into shadow. His friends laughed and a fair-haired man, taller than the first and bulging with tense muscle beneath the tight khaki t-shirt he wore, let out a long wolf-whistle.

‘You’re looking a bit wet over there, babe. Why don’t you come over here and dry off a bit?’ he called, smirking as he gestured to the narrow awning that jutted out from the side of the pub and offered a little shelter from the rain. Eutopia rolled her eyes, reaching down to heave her backpack up.

‘No, I’m fine thanks, just going.’ She called back, looking up to see that one of the men, the one with the leather jacket who had first called to her had disappeared. Probably back inside the pub, Eutopia guessed, not really fussed either way as she turned to face the direction she had come.

‘Hey.’ The man’s voice was closer to her now and firmer in tone. Casting a glance over one shoulder Eutopia found Mr Muscle in the khaki t-shirt standing behind her. ‘Where are you going? You look lost. This isn’t exactly the safest place to be wondering around in at night. Come inside, I’ll buy you a drink and you can call a cab. You staying with a friend? Hotel?’ he asked as he motioned to her bag. His eyes were a clear blue and matched with his shaggy blonde hair and rounded features, he appeared much younger than Eutopia had first believed him to be. He couldn’t have been more than twenty three or twenty four, perhaps, maybe two years older than she was. His other friend, the slimmer, darker one who’d laughed like a drain at the cat-calling, had also disappeared which left Mr Muscle appearing much less threatening now. Eutopia smiled and the expression lit up her delicate features, despite her weariness.

‘No, really. I saw a taxi stand back that way, I’ll go from there, thanks though.’ The man took one final drag on his cigarette drawing it down to the butt and squinting at her through the film of smoke he blew out from between thin lips. The cloud curled around his boyish features like his own personal patch of blue fog, lingering between them in the damp air, before he flicked the end into the gutter and offered his large hand.

‘Your mother probably taught you not to accept drinks from strangers, right?’ he grinned, flashing a dimple in each cheek. ‘Well, I’m Ash. And you are...?’

‘Going,’ she said, ignoring the hand as she adjusted the shoulder strap on her backpack and turned away from him. ‘Really, I need to get going. Thanks anyway.’

‘That’s not polite,’ Ash muttered, annoyance clipping his tone. ‘I’m trying to be friendly.’ His hand snaked out to snag the strap of Eutopia’s bag as she made to move away with her back to him. Ash gave a hard jerk, pulling the girl back towards him and catching her wrist as her hand swung round to bat him away. Before she could shout at him to let her go he had pulled her into the deeper shadows of the alleyway and the back of his hand came crashing down across her cheek before the two of them had barely been engulfed by the darkness. The force of the blow caused Eutopia to stumble and the heavy bag slipped from her shoulder and into a puddle at her feet but Ash caught her easily before she could fall down. His thickly muscled arm encircled the girl’s waist and crushed her to him. His other hand came up to rest his fingers lightly on her lips, fingertips tracing the pouting curve, parted by a cry of surprise and pain and now glistening with blood at one corner where he’d struck her.

‘Don’t even think about screaming.’ Ash growled, the scent of smoke clinging to his breath caused Eutopia to wrinkle her nose. His rough lips brushed the wet skin by her ear as he spoke, breath steaming warm against the cold drops of rain that caught in her hair and trickled down her neck to make her shiver involuntarily. He mistook the movement for a tremble of fear and grinned wider at pressing this helpless, frightened girl to his hard body. 

‘This could have been much easier, y’know. I wanted to buy you a dri..’ his sentence was cut short by a sharp intake of breath, interrupted by a swift knee to the groin that had been executed perfectly by Eutopia. Self defence 101. Though fear did sing in every thread of her being at that moment the instinct for survival burned stronger in her, easily overcoming the less helpful and almost paralysing terror she felt. Fight or flight. His grip on her had loosened enough for Eutopia to slip away as he took a moment to compose himself. Eutopia had caught him hard, almost hard enough to bring tears to his eyes, but Ash was obviously made of sterner stuff because she didn’t manage to get more than two steps away from him before he caught her wrist again and dragged her back. Swinging her free arm up as hard as she could in an attempt to shove her elbow into his face, she missed as he jerked her off balance.

‘Let me go!’ she screamed, writhing uselessly against him as his huge frame crushed her against a brick wall. Her arms were pinned by one of his slung across her chest, thick fingers dangerously close to her heaving breast. Ash grinned again, the excited glitter in his icy gaze made Eutopia feel sick to her stomach.  His other hand came to rest in her hair, twisting dark strands around his fingers with an intimacy that left Eutopia shaking with anger.

‘Just take my stuff and piss off,’ she snapped as she stopped her desperate wriggling. It wasn’t getting her anywhere and only seemed to be encouraging his pawing, as the hand pressing against her left breast began to tighten its grip.

‘I don’t want your stuff.’ Ash replied, coolly. His hand left her hair to trail down the side of her face, lingering over a dark bruise that was beginning to spread along her smooth skin like an ink stain from where he’d hit her only moments ago. He felt no remorse at marking the girl that way. It wasn’t meant to have been this difficult. He honestly hadn’t expected her to fight back as small and as frail as she looked. Not that he minded as this was actually starting to become fun for him.

That wicked smile touched his lips, lifting one side of his mouth as he considered her for a moment.

‘I want you.’ Ash turned his face away from her for a moment to inexplicably call out, ‘Jason! Jason!’

As he turned his attention back to her Eutopia spat in his face catching him right in the eye.

‘Mate! What’s taking you so long?’ a softer, but still male voice called into the alley as a pale face appeared. It was one of Ash’s friends who’d been smoking outside the pub with him, the dark haired guy who’d been the last to disappear as Ash had approached her. His guttural laugh echoed in the dingy alley as he noticed Ash wiping the saliva from his face.

‘She’s fighting dirty.’ Jason drawled with a chuckle.

‘It’s ok, Jason. I like it dirty,’ Ash lifted his hand from Eutopia’s face to grip both of her wrists and pull her towards him again. ‘Tell Davey to start the car and bring it around the other side. The pub’ll be letting out soon.’ He motioned to the far end of the alleyway with a nod of his head and Jason disappeared with a grunt of annoyance. He had hoped Ash would need a hand moving the girl, he wouldn’t mind grabbing a bit of that either.

A strangled cry left Eutopia as she realised what Ash meant to do. The alleyway obviously led out to another, no doubt even more secluded back street and he planned to bundle her into a car at the other end to take her God knows where. He obviously felt this area was too open to do whatever it was he wanted. Oh, God. Why not do it here, be quick and get it over with? Maybe they all wanted a cut and it would take too long...

Eutopia’s head and stomach swirled with a nausea that had nothing to do with the fact she’d skipped dinner since refusing to pay the extortionate prices charged by British Rail’s buffet cart earlier. She knew that if Ash got her into the car then her chances of escaping would be zero. Three against one. At least here, out in public, she had more of a fighting chance. Ash had mentioned the pub would be letting out soon, it must be after eleven then. If she could hang on, stall him for just a few more minutes then she might be able to shout for help. Eutopia had already accepted she wouldn’t be able to escape this beast by herself, especially not with two of his lackeys hanging around. 

‘I’m not going anywhere with you, you filthy pervert. Get your hands off me, let go!’ Ash had begun to drag her by the wrists and she had been stumbling along beside him, trying to keep up and feigning an almost compliance.

‘Seems like you don’t have much of a choice, babe.’  Eutopia suddenly wrenched herself backwards, throwing all of her weight into the fall which wasn’t much weight compared to his muscle. But Ash’s grip was slick with the rain that had begun to fall heavier now and Eutopia’s sudden movement had the desired effect of slipping her wrist from the circle of his hand. Her heart leapt, pumping adrenaline hard as it beat painfully in her throat. She swung her other imprisoned arm up to take advantage of Ash’s momentary surprise at having let her go. Eutopia’s sharp, even teeth sank as deep as they could into his hand until she could taste the bitter saltiness of his blood as it spilled over her lips. Ash bellowed in pain and let go of her to clutch his bleeding hand to his chest.

‘Little bitch!’ he screamed, wildly swiping his uninjured hand in a crushing blow across Eutopia’s face again. It caught her off guard as the back of his hand connected with her temple in a whack that echoed loudly in the little alleyway, making her tumble sideways into the wall. He hit her once more as she cowered against the uneven surface; the force of it sent her head cracking back into the brick work. Eutopia’s vision blurred as his bulky form crouched in front of her and the blood from his hand mixed with the blood on her chin as he cupped her face and his fingers dug painfully into her cheeks. His eyes burned as he spat at her, as she had done to him, his saliva settling with the rain and the tears that mingled on her bruised cheek.

‘Obviously you need to learn some manners before we leave.’ He hissed through gritted teeth as he flung her lolling head away from him. The final smack of her already throbbing head as it bounced off the wall sent bright stars flickering across Eutopia’s vision. The thrum of a car engine in the distance pounded in her ears, pitted by the steady drum of the rain falling on a toppled dustbin near the mouth of the alley. She’d missed her chance. Eutopia’s eyelashes fluttered as she slipped dangerously close to unconsciousness, which Ash thought was a great shame because he’d wanted her awake for this so he could see the fear in her eyes.

Ash stood and pulled the not quite conscious girl up by a fistful of her dark hair which had fallen from its knot in the struggle, tangling over her thin shoulders and curling about her pretty face; his other hand was hooked carelessly under her arm. He raised her to her knees and chuckled darkly as she fell forward, disorientated, to rest against his huge thigh.

‘That’s better already,’ he murmured more gently as he ran his bloody hand through her loose hair. He had to be quick he knew, he could see the glimmer of Davey’s car headlights as it sat idling at the other end of the alleyway. This hadn’t been part of his agreement but he couldn’t help himself, he never could. Holding her upright by the hair his other hand was free to reach down and tear at her thin top, the soft grey fabric dappled with blood from her split lip and the blood she’d drawn when she bit him and almost soaked through with the rain. The sound of stitches popping was sharp in the near silence and Ash let out a low whistle of appreciation as he bared the delicate lace of her bra.

‘Nice,’ he muttered with a dark smile. ‘Very nice.’ His fingers slid down Eutopia’s neck to the swell of her breasts, lightly tracing the pattern the mesh left as it pressed against her skin.

‘Stop,’ Eutopia muttered, trying to untangle his hand from her hair and fighting in vain against the black spots that threatened to engulf her vision entirely but ultimately losing. Velvety darkness, a blissful unawareness, swam into her consciousness and swept her away from the clammy hands pawing at the fabric of her bra as the dull thud of flesh on flesh echoed from somewhere deep within the darkness around her and she fell, spiralling into meaninglessness.