Living Outside of Life

Seconds, minutes, hours, days,
All swirling and melding into a single moment in time,
Around me, everything gyrates, rotates, shifts and sways,
Yet I remain still, trapped within this dim reality of mine.

Beyond the world, beyond the heavens, beyond anything tangible and real,
My mind lingers, placid, unmoving but desperately racing all in that same immeasurable moment,
I am plastered in that single tick of the clock, while the world refuses to remain still,
Unable to reach out and grab onto the curtails of life, no matter how passionately I want it.

Emotions hammer into my withered and downtrodden soul,
Hopelessness, uselessness, anger, envy and grief,
Emotions are so deep, so consuming, so painful,
That they have no names, no words, no identity.

This is me, I am lost, stuck in a moment while the world continues on,
Beaten down by life's cruelty, by the humor of the heavens above,
This is me, unwilling to give up, determined to march forward and beyond,
Unrelenting in my perusal of life, the real one, filled with more than just heart-wrenching love.

Filled with hope...
Filled with light...
Filled with everything that I have thus far been denied.

I may weep, I might cry out, I will even beg for mercy,
I will not stop, I refuse to quit, I will never stop dreaming,
Of a life, a real life, built, crafted, shaped and mastered by me.