A creative piece written for a university module assignment. |
Rules of Engagement - a first time creative piece The following is a fictional account of a Test of Evil students attempt to converse with Ian Brady by letter in order to determine how much of the reported truth about his life since the Moors Murders is based in fact or fiction, a question only Brady can answer - be that answer truthful or otherwise given that he is not known for his telling of the truth. Thursday 2nd October Started my second year at uni this week and really looked forward to Test of Evil starting today. Always had a fascination with crime and the legal process but without the A Levels to study law this module has my interest more than most. The overviews of the cases we are to examine are interesting but of all of them The Moors Murders draw my attention as so much of the truth is unknown. I await those weeks with interest. Thursday 30th October My brain is full of ideas today as we started to examine The Moors Murderers and thoughts turn to my creative assignment piece. I have an idea that will shock my tutors and no doubt my fellow students but as it seems obvious that anything reported about these two individuals could be simply made up by reporters and authors would it not be better to ask? I have scheduled a meeting with my tutor to discuss this further as I know I want to write about Ian Brady but asking him directly? That is a whole new ballgame! I get the feeling my background in mental health nursing would help a lot if I have to get to know the man. We are told how manipulative he can be so extreme caution is to be advised. I hope I get the chance to do this for real. Thursday 13th November Well I made my case and sadly although I understand why, permission is most definitely NOT granted to write to Brady. But what if it had been given? What if my life experience with mental health patients and the value of such discourse had been understood by the university? A man classed by them as vulnerable and yet spoken about like dirt. Is it right that a man classified as mentally insane therefore not allowed to be responsible for his own decisions is spoken about in this way? We shall never know. However I intend to proceed with a fictionalised account of what MIGHT have happened had permission been granted. Any further diary entries will be as though I had already written to Brady and what might be gained from this. Monday 17th November It has been over a fortnight since I sent the letter. It was so hard to write knowing that I had to somehow get the attention of such an infamous man and knowing that the only way I could try and get it was through showing interest and (I shudder at the word) flattery. His mind interests me but such a fine line between interest and revulsion over his crimes. I don't want him to think that I condone what he did, or that I am intending friendship when neither is the truth. I just want to know how his mind works NOW, do the police as is suggested consult him on other crimes? What is it about this man that would lead them to do so when his own crimes are as yet unsolved, bodies still out there unclaimed. Did I do enough and will he write back? I am in my own form of mental torment waiting for any kind of result. Can I believe a word he says even if he does respond? Who knows? Friday 21st November Still no reply. I am becoming impatient as time is running out if I am to write my assignment in time for January submission! In the back of my mind I knew a response was unlikely, I don't even know if he received the letter but at the same time my brain is on fire with thoughts of what if and the postman knocks with deliveries for lectures - books and ink for my printer, no letter, no reply. And very little time. Increasingly looking at having nothing to submit. Damn you Brady, you took lives, you won't take my degree from me too! Tuesday 2nd December I have been neglecting this diary as I gave up on ever hearing back from Brady but today a letter! I was so excited and more than a little scared upon opening it. What would he have to say? As it happened he said nothing. The envelope contained a short slip of letter headed paper 'Ashworth Hospital'. It simply said 'Your letter has been passed onto the relevant department for their consideration'. Does this mean Brady has it? Or just that the secure unit have accepted delivery of it? Only time will tell. Wednesday 17th December Again, some time has passed since I recorded the response from the hospital and nothing from either them or Brady has been received since. It has led me to think so many things. Has he nothing to say to me? Is he flattered that his crimes are being studied at university level (I rather suspect he might be) and if so why not respond? Arrogance as is reported about this man? Or does he simply see me as an insignificant student and frankly his life now is none of my business? A lack of response may be his way of toying with me as he may have done with those children but at the same time I wonder if he truly is too ill to deal with correspondence of any kind. The realities of the case remain unknown and I never wanted to delve into them anyway. However the realities of the man himself, is he truly insane? Or is his diagnosis simply a way of keeping a man alive in order to inflict upon him mental torture (for if he is NOT mad then what right have we as a civil society to lie simply to make a man do as the public demands - not law, no law advocates an eye for an eye in this age). Are we no better than the Brady's and Hindley's of the world if our sole purpose is not the following of the law but the following of, at times, misinformed public opinion to get our own way. Control freaks - the very thing that is said about the man himself. Maybe I will write to him again if time permits in the future and if he is still alive. Maybe the silence tells me more about the system than it does him. It is speculation and that is how we judge convicted criminals, not as the law suggests at all. It still feels wrong. |