Recovery

Hey,

I don't know how this email is gonna affect our friendship. I just can't lie to myself anymore. It's really killing me mentally and physically. I just want u to know tat I'm in love with u. Weird isn't it. Someone who wasn't looking for love but it did happen to me. Don't know when or how it happen. I just did. I suppose I'm happy when ever we talk n skype tat my heart melt and decided tat it's time to fall in love. I try to deny the feelings but i can't.

We did say tat we will be honest to each other which i did except for this cause i didn't  want to lose the friendship tat we have. I'm sorry tat i have complicated things by falling in love with u. There's a lot of things running through my mind rite now tat i want to tell u but i can't seem to put into words. I'm sorry i really am. It hurts when u talk about goin to dates and stuff. 

I know u don't have the same feelings towards me. God how the hell did i get myself in this situation i really have no idea. I'm not being a gd friend for you right now cause my feelings for you is contradicting. I'm putting myself out here in this email and this will be the last time I'll ever let my heart out to anyone. Everyone says i look so sad but i just smile at them. I'm crying in the toilet writing this so i won't have any regrets in the future as to what might have been or what might have not. 

I need some time away from you so i can be myself again. Mend this heart of mine. You have everything goin on for u right now and i don't want to spoilt any of it. Give me a month or 2 pls to be alone. If u decide to be friends after ur placement ends. Text me and let me know. If not i will know. I just want u to know that i enjoyed our friendship this past 3 years. The fights, laughter and sadness. I wish u all the best M in whatever u do. 

Yours Sincerely
B