The Lost Afternoon

He came into the bar hoping it was going to be cool inside, but it wasn’t. The door was open with a little rubber stopper wedged underneath the skirt. It was not dark inside and it was not light, but he could see enough. He saw that there were four men evenly spaced, man-stool-man-stool-man-stool-man on a long straight bar top, maybe ten feet long. He sat down near the door on a barstool that rocked sideways, clicking back and forth. He changed stools, trying not to make a big deal of it, just lowered his feet and slid over one. The new one sat steady. Now he was three stools from the next man. The men had their arms resting on the bar. They were all white, like him, and they were all older. How much older he couldn't tell, but they were older than he was by a good many years. They were blue-collar types wearing blue-collar clothes. He felt a little funny in his brand new suit.

He looked at the four men and they looked back.

The bartender was bald on top and gray on the sides, close cropped, and was hunched over doing the crossword puzzle with his back to him. He wore a short-sleeved shirt that was white but not very white, and wasn’t tucked in. The four men had beers in front of them and the beers were all in bottles of different brands. The bottles all sat on little round cardboard coasters. The four men sat on their stools, the beer bottles sat on their coasters, and the bartender stood next to the cash register with his back turned and his head low in the green lamp light to read the puzzle.

Nobody said a word and he waited.

After a minute, maybe two, one of them said, “Be a great place to open a bar, huh?”

The bartender turned around to look at the man who spoke and then turned all the way around and spotted the kid down at the end.

“We’re closed,” he said, and everybody laughed including the kid. The bartender took off his reading glasses and put his pen behind his ear and said, “Five letters: Excessively large,” and stepped with slow heavy steps toward the door and the new guy.

“Obese,” the kid said. The bartender stopped in mid stride and went back to his puzzle. He put his glasses back on and leaned down. “That’s it!” he said and took his pen back from his ear. He filled something in and then something else, and then something else. “Good one!” he said. He put his glasses back on the newspaper neatly and stuck the pen back behind his ear and came down the bar. He tossed a coaster down in front of the kid like a man who had tossed many coasters onto many bar tops before. They looked at each other. The bartender said, “Jesus,” and gave a quick look sideways at the men down the bar, then added, “May I offer you a cocktail?”

Everybody except the bartender laughed again, including the kid, but the bartender suddenly looked perplexed. “You got I.D.?”

The kid seemed ready for the question. He had his driver’s license out and ready to hand over. The bartender held it to the light. All he could make out was the kid was from Rhode Island and he opted not to go back for his reading glasses by the cash register. He said, “Rhode Island, huh? Welcome to L.A.”

“Thank you,” the kid said, and they stared at each other again.

“Jesus, kid, you want a drink or not?”

“Oh, yes, please. Chocolate martini.”

There was a long pause while they looked at each other. Then the bartender asked, “Seriously?”

The kid asked, “Do you know how to make a chocolate martini?”

*******

The kid had slid over next to the four men now, and all five were drinking chocolate martinis. The kid had his tie loosened and his sleeves rolled up. Benny said, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Ruddy slapped his own forehead and Buster covered his face with his long bony fingers. Chester had his head down on the bar and was making periodic choking sounds between his arms. “You’re a piece of work, kid,” the bartender said. He was drinking Coke out of a glass without ice.

“You don’t buy shoes without trying them on first!” Benny said.

“Well, I just--I don’t know, I guess I figured they’d fit…” The kid said.

“Jesus, Joseph, and Mary!” Buster said, his hands still covering his face.

“So, what? You got married, bought a house and now you guys are calling it quits?” Benny said.

“He bought the house first,” Buster corrected.

“I bought the house first,” the kid confirmed.

“Jesus, Joseph, and Mary!” said Buster.

“You gonna lose everything, kid. The whole enchilada…” Benny said. He stared at the kid as the kid swirled the chocolate martini in his stem glass.

Benny slapped him none too softly on the side of the shoulder with the back of his hand. “Come on, kid. Don’t bullshit me! You were both virgins on your wedding night, honest Injun for real?”

The kid took a final swig of his drink and nodded his head as he swallowed. “Yep,” he said.

“Jesus, Joseph, and Mary…” Buster said. “I mean, really—Jesus, Joseph, and Mary!”

“And she just flat out won’t give ya any?”

“Nothing,” said the kid.

“Jesus, Jo--”

“Shut up with that, Buster!” Benny said turning half around to eyeball Buster, and then turned again back to the kid. “Well, ya got to get her drunk!”

“She doesn't drink!” the kid said, a sad look to his face. “Actually, neither did I until today…”

“Who would've ever guessed,” the bartender said.

They sat silently for a long while, each with their own thoughts. Finally it was decided that ordering one more round of chocolate martinis couldn't hurt anything, and since there was nobody around to argue the point, that’s exactly what they did.

--1000 Words--