Ten

“Seriously, is that all you guys care about?”

I was so shocked and so stunned, at this point you could literally have knocked me down with a feather. I couldn't believe it. My two best friends and I were walking through the school corridors and were discussing the bombshell that Mr. Johns had just dropped in class, or at least I was trying to discuss it with them, they just wouldn't listen. I’m not a very forceful person when it comes to voicing my opinions. That was the problem with being a middle child. The elder ones were always bearing down on you and forcing you to agree with them whilst the younger ones were lapping up all the attention from Mum and Dad. I was kind of left in limbo, whilst our parents yelled at my older sisters and doted on my younger brothers. I was almost like a passenger, a spectator to the intense scene vivifying all around me. And, for me, family life was all downhill from there.



“Evie, are you even listening to my deep, emotional trauma here?”



Like yeah, I was totally listening to you telling me what it feels like to be sitting a whole two seats away from where you wanted to be or what it feels like to have to wear your sister’s hand-me-down clothes or what it feels like to have seem like an immaculately dressed angel for school, or any senseless worry that you were harping on about this time… I was totally tuned in to you and only you for the last three and a half minutes… AS IF!



“It’s alright for you! You have long, luscious copper ringlets that always look perfect. And you are a nice height!”



Hmm…. Yeah, okay. I’m 5 foot dead on. That’s like tiny, they were both a whole 6 inches taller yet they thought that I was a nice height.



“I mean it Evie, I’m going to be so depressed if they make us partner up for this ceilidh dance event, I’m the tallest girl in our class, and the second tallest person, after Mr. Johns”



Wait. Hold up. Now I’m really confused, why are we discussing the CHRISTMAS dance event, it's October… well, why were they discussing the Christmas dance event- I wasn't party to this conversation.



It’s hard you know… When no one wants to pay any attention to what you say because your two best friends are always louder and more sure of themselves. It’s almost like you are the mouse that followed around the gruffalo for protection. Or the backer who soundlessly makes the whole operation run smoothly. Or the prompter who ensures that the play runs like clockwork.



“Hey there, Lily, Carmen, hey wait up” cried a voice some way behind us. But as usual, they hadn't noticed me, Evie, hiding in the background. It, of course, had to be Maisie Kent, that was a given. Dear, sweet, loving Maisie.



It wasn't the first time people hadn't noticed me and it certainly wouldn't be the last, without a shadow of a doubt. No-one noticed me because they didn't look hard enough, they were looking but they weren't really seeing. So off went the three girls, leaving me to slink off into the distance and fade away. It was always left to me to do everything, Lily and Carmen had forgotten, again that it was our turn to run the cake stall so I was doing it alone.



Time passes slowly when you are alone. No-one to chatter with, giggle with or wind up. It was still just me here, alone. No-one, I knew would buy cake because when I was on the stall it went invisible.



Giggle, giggle, giggle. Whisper, whisper, whisper. Secret after secret after secret.



Popular people strutted past with their faithful devotees and their ever-loyal accomplices. Shy ones crept past, alone and forgotten. Bookworms went past deep in conversation about which author they preferred to read at which time of the day. Sports people meandered, debating who was on each row for the new team formation. Gossipers sauntered past pointing and giggling to one another. None of them were my friends, I was better than that. And I knew it, or at least I thought I did. Until I saw a gaggle of girls gesturing to the invisible cake stall and laughing, in the center was Lily and Carmen.



“Hey Lil, Carms, look at her hair! Just who does she thinks she is? Wearing it in our style, she’s not good enough to even look at us.” 

“Hey guys, look at her shoes, they are, like, so last season”

“No, no, no Bella. You got it wrong, those shoes were never in season to begin with”



Ouch, that hurt. They say that physical blows make in impact but can be forgotten about however it takes a lot more to heal a verbal wound because it’s easier to rub salt into it. My eyes were swimming, literally, in their own private pool of salt water.



“Eh, you guys, you didn't even comment on the worst thing”

“What? Oh do tell darling Carmen, you are so clever!”

“It’s blindingly obvious”

“Lilyyyyyy!! Do tell, oh please do!”

“Well, duh, she’s a puny midget. I don’t even know why you guys looked at her to begin with, she isn’t even worth looking at, let alone talking about” 



I ran. I didn't know where I was going but I knew I had to get away. My head was spinning, Lily and Carmen, who were just earlier telling me I was the perfect height and had beautiful copper curls. I kept running. I could run forever but it wasn’t going to solve anything. You can’t run from your problems, not now, not ever. But I could run from this. I could escape from the world of Evie in an instant, the blinking of an eyelid, the flash of a camera. One second and it would all be gone, vanish, I could escape. This wasn’t the first time I’d made a costly mistake or I’d been the victim because I hadn’t seen the wider picture. I failed to use my past knowledge to broaden my understandings.  No-one needed to know anything about my past. No-one needed to hear but I told them. People judge a person based on who they are how they act, how they interact, where they’ve came from and where they’re going.



My first home was the worst, I was beaten up one day on the way home from school simply because I was me. I didn't tell Tante Violette the truth, I told her that I fell over because when you are in my situation that’s what happens, people always see the worst in you. Then there was home number two, with Tia Maria, it was alright at first, I remained in the shadows and no one noticed me. Until I was asked to give a talk in English class. It was one of those stupid “Who am I?” talks that everyone does at the start of the school term. Once the truth was out it was harder to remain in the shadows. I moved to house number three, four, five, six, seven, eight and nine respectively and had to leave time and time again. Now I was in house number ten and it was all going the same way.



Ten different foster parents. Ten different houses. Ten different bedrooms. Ten different beds. Ten different kitchens. Ten different family rooms. Ten different TVs. Ten different doorbells. Ten different doors. Ten different lives.  Ten different names. I’d been called Beth, Hannah, Anna, Mary, Kate, Shannon, Ellie, Abigail, Grace and Evie. When would it stop? Probably not ever. After this home would come the next and the next and the next. Then another new name, and another, and another.



But I could change that. Right now. I could do it, the choice was mine.







WORD COUNT:1325