Lost

I see her walk in the room with her black high heels that elongate her tan legs. Her gold, short dress shimmers in the dull light, and makes every man wonder what the body underneath it looks like. Her light brown hair shines, and her lips are a deep ruby red. Her intense, hungry blue eyes search the room. She laughs a beautiful melodic laugh at something one of the many girls that surround her says. She commands the attention from everyone in the room. I watch her strut to the kitchen, brushing up against a guy on the way. His eyes boggle as he looks her up and down, forgetting about the girl he was grinding with a few moments ago. She smiles a catlike grin, and her hips sway sensually as she passes him. Her entourage of girls attempt the same walk, but none can successfully copy it. The music pumps, bodies grind, and the lights are dim. I stay by my place in the corner of the room, watching as bare skin glistens with sweat. The stereo is cranked up so loud that the ground shudders and my heart beats with the music. This is the only reason I come to parties like these. Not for the dancing, because if I were to even attempt to dance among the mob of people, it's likely I would be swept away in a strong current of bodies. Not for the alcohol; I have never been much of a drinker. Not even to engage with the opposite sex in illicit activities. No, I come for the loud music. Sometimes, if I'm able to slip away from my friend and find a nice, dark corner, I close my eyes and just listen; I let my heart keep beat with the base. I foolishly thought that tonight could be one of those nights, but when she entered the room I realized that my plans would likely be shattered. She walks out of the kitchen, a cup in her hand. Her brown hair glistens and mimics her golden dress. Her garnet lips touch the tip of her cup, and as she drinks, her piercing blue eyes catch the gaze of my own. She freezes in her spot, and it's as if the glow of confidence she had before has slowly seeped from her body and down into the floor.

         "Oh god. Not him. Please. I can't handle him tonight." I think as he and I watch each other from across the room. He probably thinks that he blends in the corner with his dark clothing and his jet black hair, but he stands out to me even in this dimly lit room. I would be able to see his brilliant green eyes in a pitch black cave. My eyes glance over his chest and I try not to picture his strong comforting muscles. My breath catches in my throat as I feel his eyes on me. I clutch at the cup in my hand and down its contents. All the girls that had surrounded me before are now mixing with the mass of bodies in front of me. No longer shielded by a crowd, I stomp back into the kitchen. Instead of refilling what was going to be my only drink, I grab the entire bottle of rum. The bottle is only half-way full, but it doesn't matter; that should be more than enough to get me started. I place the mouth of it to my lips, and feel it burn down my throat, scorching its way to my stomach. But it doesn't affect my mind-it will take a lot more alcohol to achieve that. I stand at the sink looking out of the kitchen window. I breathe in and out until I regain my confident smile. I run my fingers through my hair and clench the bottle of rum. I know I need a little help letting loose tonight. I stride out into the ocean of bodies and start to sway and move to the music. I feel it begin to take over my body. Every time I feel his eyes on me, I take another swig of rum, and before I realize how light the bottle has become, I drink the last drop. By now, I'm incredibly dizzy, but I can still feel the stare of his forest green eyes. I stumble in the direction of the kitchen, but the current of bodies takes me all around the room. By some miracle, I end up close to my original destination. I push through, and see that the liquor has been restocked. I grab a bottle without looking at what it is and head back out. This time, I let myself go. I let my body move with the current, and hold onto the bottle in my hand for dear life. I drink from it and am greeted by a liquid fire that makes a trail all through my body. I drink and drink, ignoring the blaze that turns into a rapid inferno. I come up for a breath, and I feel the room spin. The music has carried me away with the help of the liquor. I cling to the bottle, not realizing that it's empty. I feel a body push against mine, and I grind back. I close my eyes and move with the body pressed against me, not knowing or caring who it is.

         I watch her stumble out of the kitchen, bringing out another bottle of alcohol. She gulps it all down, and her chest expands as she takes a deep breath. I see her grind with a guy I don't know, and a kind of stabbing pain starts up in my chest. She pushes against him and laughs. He puts his hands on her waist, and she drops the empty body. I don't hear it shatter, and I can't see it crunch beneath their feet. She tilts her head back as he kisses her neck. It hurts to watch, but I can't seem to tear my eyes away. He moves her to the edge of the crowd, and I begin to worry. He picks her up and wraps her legs around his waist. I see him start to carry her in a back room and my mind races. "She doesn't want this. She's drunk!" I think. My heart pounds. "She's no longer yours to save." A different voice screams in my mind. I look at the shut door that they had just passed through. Every second that passes is another second that he gets closer to having her. I don't know if it was jealousy, or if it was really me doing the right thing, but I abandon my safe corner, and mix with the crowd. I push my way through, and barge through the door, and I can barely stomach what greets me. I see him on top of her, her dress yanked up above her chest. He's kissing on her bare skin, slowly pulling his pants off. Her eyes are closed, and a little moan escapes her lips. Her golden brown hair is spread out on the bed, glittering. My heart drops to the ground, and I can barely breathe. Then, my body fills with rage. I roughly grab his shoulders and pull him off of her. "Hey! What the-?" is all that is able to escape from his lips before I clench my hand into a fist and punch him. As my funneled rage comes in contact with his face, he falls back into a dresser, and I resist the urge to pull him up and punch him again. I turn toward her, and she's still laying out on the bed with her eyes closed as if nothing has happened. I pull her dress back down, and pick her up off the mattress. I try to put her back on her feet, but after a few steps, her legs crumple beneath her. I pick her up, and take her out to where the bodies continue to mold to one another while the music shakes the floor and the alcohol courses through their veins. I walk out the front door without a glance back. The night air bombards me, but the breeze feels amazing compared to the extremely stuffy room we just left behind. I walk out to the street where my car is parked, and I can still hear the music beating in the background. Her golden hair dances in the breeze. The stars twinkle up above, and the moon shines down and illuminates her skin. Her thick lashes tickle her cheek, and her chest rises and falls as she breathes. Her eyes flutter open, and she slurs something I can't understand. I set her down and her legs wobble, but she stays up. I keep my arm around her in case she falls as I open the passenger door of my black mustang. I help her slide in, and her head bobbles as if her neck isn't sturdy enough to hold it high. I shut the door and slide in the driver's seat. I strap her seatbelt on, and her eyes lazily follow my fingers as I move them to the ignition. Some crazy beat bursts from my speakers, but she doesn't even move an inch in the seat. I turn the music down, and pull out onto the dark road. The digital clock on my dash board displays 12:43, which is probably early to leave from a party by her standards. My headlights illuminate the road in front of me, and a low base streams from my speakers. In the corner of my eye, I see her shift and I hear her mumble something. She moves her face toward the window and closes her eyes. I smile, roll down the windows, and the breeze ripples through her hair. Her face looks almost translucent compared to how tan she really is. It's amazing how alcohol can change a person. Driving the road to her house is like instinct. I remember every curve of the road as if they are etched in my mind. I had followed this road countless times in different circumstances. I had never really thought I would be driving this path again. Her huge, three story house looms ahead on the right. As I pull into the driveway, I find that it is empty. I twist the key in the ignition, and my car purrs to a halt. I climb out to open her door, and see her silky hair is hanging out of the open window; her ice blue eyes intently looking out. I open the door, and she almost face plants into the pavement. "Whoa..." she mumbles as she catches herself. She faces the ground, and looks nauseated. Her fingers grip the dashboard, and she empties her stomach on the driveway. Bits of vomit cling to her hair. She lazily looks up at me, and doesn't say a word. I step around the mess she's made, and help her out of the car. She leans on me as we walk, and she keeps her head down. As we get close to the back door, she doubles over and starts dry heaving over a bush. I wait patiently until she seems to have regain control over her body, but as I start to move towards her again, she begins to chuckle. Her chuckle turns to giggles, then she throws her head back and laughs hysterically. I stop, and crouch behind the bushes, bringing her down with me. I look at her and say "shhhh!" She laughs again, puts her long finger to her ruby red lips, and sputters a "shhhh!" back at me. I shake my head and listen for footsteps or talking, hoping we won't run into anyone during our trek through her house. After a few long minutes of silence, I stand up with her hand in mine. She looks up at me with her brown hair in her face, as she continues to kneel on the ground. I pull at her hand. "C'mon!" I whisper loudly. She slowly stands, and her legs shake. I pull her toward the back door, and race along the stony patio. We avoid the sets of outdoor furniture as if they were set like a maze just for us, and we reach the back door, which I know she would have left unlocked before she left for the party. I push the door open, and we stumble into the kitchen with its black and white tiled floor and enormously long white marble counters. I spend no time gawking at how their kitchen is almost as big as my entire house, and I pull her right through another door that leads us into the dining room. We edge around the mahogany table that can sit at least twenty people easily, and I glance up at the chandelier that glitters from the ceiling. I try to step lightly so that the wooden floor beneath us does not give us away, and we finally make it to the foyer. To my side, we are greeted by the enormous detailed front door, and directly across from it is my next destination-the staircase. As I place one hand on the pearl colored bannister and begin to ascend, she pulls back and her legs begin to wobble. She shuts her eyes and sways. I sigh, aggravated that she's too drunk to walk up a set of stairs, and pick her up, princess style. It reminds me of a time where we did this for fun; she always loved to be carried up the stairs. I reach the second floor, and face a long hallway lined with tan walls and multiple vanilla colored doors. The plush carpet softens my steps, and I head to the second door on the right. She leans her head against my chest as I use one hand to twist the gunmetal finished doorknob, and we are greeted by bright blue walls that introduce more color than any of the other rooms we had passed through during our journey. Her bed leans against the wall on the right hand side, and a cream fabric canopy drapes from the ceiling around it. A smaller version of the chandelier we passed in the dining room sparkles from the center of her ceiling. A humongous closet takes up the left corner opposite the door, and a plasma screen TV faces the bed on the adjacent wall from the bed. Next to the door to the closet are two beautiful French doors that lead to a balcony that overlooks the backyard. Cream colored fabric drapes down the doors and the hems lightly graze the carpet that covers the floor. I walk to her bed, part the curtains that surround it, and gently place her on top of her ocean blue comforter. She lets her head fall, and the left side of her face touches her pillow. Her golden hair falls around her, and her eyelashes caress her cheeks. I back away from the bed and let the curtains fall around her. Something under her bed catches my eye. Curiosity causes me to get on my knees and reach under. I feel a glass bottle, pull it out, and an empty bottle of liquor looks up at me. I place it to the side, and reach underneath the bed again, and find more empty bottles as well as a few full ones. I gather all of them in my arms, and take one last look at the girl on the bed. Her blue eyes open slightly, and she looks at me. I watch her as she reaches a hand out to me. I walk toward her, and her lips form my name. "Jasper." I barely hear it escape from her mouth. I look at her lips and resist the urge to bring my own to hers. Her ocean blue eyes stare at me as I turn my back towards her and walk away.