How I Realized Loner Life was Terrible

How I Realized Loner Life was Terrible

Friend. It's a strange word. I didn't think I needed any friends, because I was perfectly fine by myself. It's not like I desired to be part of that group of shallow girls who couldn't talk about anything besides how they looked, or that gang that goes around throwing eggs at random neighbors' cars. I just didn't want to be like everyone else.
"Hannah. Wake up. You're going to be late for school,"said my mom as she shook me awake.
"Stop bothering me," I moaned.
My mom started hauling me out of bed. "You have a math test today, and a history project due tomorrow. You need time for breakfast."
Time is the factor of existence that humans can't seem to get enough of. More time to study, more time to play, more time to relax. I personally believe that there should be more hours in a day. For our math test, I had to collaborate with Dana. She was the girl who wore more make up than my mom wore to parties on school days, and displayed overpriced clothes that would make my family go bankrupt. I had a feeling that our math test was going to end up with her flashing her extra fake "friendly" smile and asking me for the answer to each question. If I got a question wrong, she would put on her "hurt face" and start spreading nasty rumors behind my back, which no one but her friends would believe, because she has the biggest mouth in the entire school. My fruity pebbles suddenly weren't tasting so sweet today.

---

As soon as my foot hit the pavement of our school's drop off circle, Alexa dragged me through the immense crowd of first, second, and third graders.
"Ohmigosh.WejustpouredgluealloverthebenchJoeysitsonafterschooltoreadandranawaywhenwethoughtwesawMrs.Omawalkingtowardus!!!" Alexa was breathing heavily.
"I didn't understand a word you just said," I replied.
"Let's just say that Matt proposed this ingenious prank, and Joey won't be happy when he gets home this evening," she muttered.
Joey stumbled past us. He was one of the geeky kids who never paid much attention in class because their nose was buried in a book that the rest of us had finished in third grade.
Ding! Ding! Ding! What would anyone do without the bell.

---

If P.E., lunch, and recess didn't count, math would be my favorite subject. Our teacher, Mr. Jensen, hands out engaging worksheets every day. I have never gotten a math problem wrong in the entire year, and Mr. Jensen rewards me with a piece of chocolate every week, as he does to all of the most well behaved students in his class.
"Come in and put your folders up WITHOUT TALKING. I will hand all of the tests out in a minute. Remember, this is a partner test, but if you raise your voices too much, you and your partner will both find a big fat zero scrawled across your papers tomorrow morning," said Mr. Jensen. Mr. Jensen never raised his voice, even when he got mad. It creeped us all out when he did.
The math test was simple. The bad part was I had to cooperate with Dana.
She kept on asking me which quadrant was which, so I had  to clarify her doubts over and over again. This was exactly why I preferred to do everything on my own.
"Hey, Hannah. Could you pleeeeeeease just give me the answer to number fourteen? You are my friend, right?" She began to twirl her hair around one finger, and plastered a smile on her face.
I bit my lip. "Dana, cheating isn't tolerated, you know that." This was what I despised about people like Dana.
"Fine. I'll just tell Mr. Jensen that you weren't cooperating. You wouldn't want to ruin your 'perfect score' and stop being the teacher's pet. You don't have any other friends besides the teacher anyway," she sneered.
"I can do just fine without friends. I've got myself. And if you dare step out of your seat, I'll tell him that you asked me for answers." I gave her that kind of glare that makes people shiver with discomfort. "Don't try anything."
Mr. Jensen walked by. "Talk a bit softer next time."
We handed him our test papers.
"Try reading a book instead of talking when you're finished taking your test. You can also start on your history project if you would like."
"Thank you Mr. Jensen," we murmured in unison.

---

P.E. was the best subject ever. I loved the way the wind felt when it was rushing past me as I sprinted, and the giddy feeling you get when you win a challenging game, because you know you've tried your best. Mrs. Smith was out waiting for us by the soccer field, dressed in her typical attire of a T-shirt and running leggings, even though it was chilly outside.
After she finished taking roll, she turned around and faced us. "Today we'll be playing soccer."
"Will it be boys against girls?" someone - a boy - asked eagerly.
"Do I ever make you play boys against girls? Think, Harold?" Mrs. Smith strolled toward the girls. I also disagreed with the idea of girls against boys, because most girls just stand around, talk, and don't actually do anything, and what's the fun in playing a game that you're bound to win?
"Alexa and Dana will be the team captains. Do rock, paper, scissors, and hurry up."
Dana won. "I pick Hannah."
My hand suddenly shot up in the air. "Mrs. Smith, can I play with the boys?"
"Do you think you can handle it? They might not let you participate because you're a girl."
"That's fine. I'll prove to them that I'm just as skilled as they are." I used to play soccer in third grade, and I'm still pretty good.
"Sure. You can be on Matt's team."
I frowned in disgust. "Okey dokey."
The boys met my arrival with surprised looks, and a few glares. Fifth grade was just the age where girls and boys are arch enemies.
"The teams are already chosen, and you're welcome to go away," one of the boys responded to my entrance.
"Mrs. Smith said I was on Matt's team, no exceptions."
"It's okay. Let Hannah play." Matt leaned over and whispered to Jeff. "It's not like we'll pass the ball to her anyway."
The kickoff was made. Jeff was our team's goalie, Matt was offense, Owen was a midfielder, Coby was also offense, and I was stuck on defense. Harold, who was on the other team, got the ball first. He dribbled up to the foot of the 18 yard box, but I ran to him, and stole the ball from right under his nose. As I was dribbling down the field, I heard Coby and Matt screaming "Pass the ball! Pass the ball!" I was just about to do that when I thought, they don't deserve the glory of making a goal. I just kept running. Right when I made the goal kick, Harold's goalie blocked the shot. The soccer ball landed right in front of Matt. He just stood there.
"Shoot the ball, Matt." Coby was standing right behind him, with an expression of disgust on his face. "Fine, I'll shoot." Coby kicked the ball and scored.
"Ha ha, Matt. Now do you think that you shouldn't pass the ball to me," I taunted.
He just stood there, with his mouth slightly open. It was obvious that SHOCK was written all over his face. "I guess I was wrong." Matt sulked away.
I just loved to prove people wrong.
"Hannah Brown, please report to the office. Hannah Brown, please report to the office."  My name. Over the P.A.. What did I do wrong? I never got sent to the principal's office.
One of Dana's minions snickered when I walked past her.
The principals office was a large beige building with a low roof and wooden doors. The inside smelled like a doctors office, one of my least favorite scents.
The secretary, Ms. Kaufman, greeted me with a grim expression. "Hannah, your mother would like to speak with you." She handed me the office phone.
"Hannah. You might be shocked to hear this but-"
"Why are you calling me in the middle of school, can't this wait until after school?"
"Honey, this is very important news to you. An awful thing happened."
"What happened? An animal species became extinct? Your pay was lowered? Whatever it is, I don't really care."
I could sense a pause in her voice. "Hannah, a few minutes ago, your father died in a car crash. I'm sorry that I have to be the one to tell you."
Now THAT really shocked me. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
It was obvious now that my mother was trying her best not to cry. "I said, that now you're fatherless, and I'm husbandless. I'll try my best to support the two of us, but we will have to cut back on a lot of luxuries we have, and mainly worry about survival."
"Bye mom."
"Bye Hannah."
I bit my lip and held back tears. I remembered all of the great experiences we had together, before his work became extremely stressful. I remember going to Canada, and having a snowball fight which I won. I remember how he always used to read me a story when I couldn't go to sleep at night. I couldn't believe how cruel life was being to my mom. My mom. She would always ask me about making friends when I came home from school, but one day, she decided to give up because I was just being so stubborn. Now I understand why she asked me that.

---

The next day, I approached Alexa, because she was my top choice for a friend, and asked her if she wanted to play basketball with me.
She stared at me, surprised. "Sure. I would love to, but why are you looking so glum? You usually look like the most confident, independent person in school."
Now it was my turn to be surprised. "I do? Maybe that's why Dana and her minions hate me so much. To answer your question, my dad was part of a car crash yesterday, and he didn't make it."
Alexa gawked at me, mouth agape. "I'm so sorry! I'll probably never understand what you're going through, but you can always rely on me to assist your family. Here, have a s'mores cookie. I made them this morning." She handed me the cookie, and it tasted like heaven. "You can come over to my house after school, if you want."
"That's okay. I should probably remain at home to comfort my mom. Thank you for the cookie."
"You're welcome. See you at the basketball courts." Alexa strolled away to her classroom.
"Bye."
I now appreciated the importance of friends. They will always have your back during tough times, and have the power to make life so much more enjoyable.