chapter 2

II  ISOLATION TO BELONGING....A NIGHTMARE TURNS REAL


         In a section of town locals avoid at night, Alex lumbered his gait as he passed an old boarded store front on a street darkened by three broken lampposts. He felt right at home, picked up his head an strut down the street in long steps, making his confident presence known.
         The light breeze did nothing to bring relief from the humid air of a late evening rain and surface smoke fog enveloping his legs in the thickness, leaving his upper torso visible in the half moon light of distant street lights.
         It has been almost ten years since Alex spent any time in the neighbourhood, not sure of his reason to rent a room two blocks away from the very storefront he was arrested as a teen, but it was a comfort zone despite the recurring nightmares of the event that changed his life so dramatically.
         Now, he had one thing on his mind and that was a drink to calm the banshee turbulence in his mind and stomach as he hadn't eaten for the last eighteen hours since leaving Frank and Pete at a local restaurant still arguing over the clubhouse interior. Falling to old habits easily when stirred by dreams or nightmares of his isolation.
         Thoughts of his time in jail when it was a lot worse than he could have imagined. Half Pint was right, Alex went to juvenile for six months until he turned eighteen and the gun charge carried a heavy penalty. Coupled with the connection to the bikers he ended up with six years plus two for the weapons charge. A hefty toll for a seventeen year old. The bikers that were caught got fifteen years each and the leader got twenty. Alex had no idea they were involved in human trafficking, weapons and murder for hire activities.
         Alex wiped the sweat off his eyebrow and began to talk out loud as if conversing with a companion. " geez it is hot and this is only April what is it going to be like in July…fry an egg on the sidewalk hot I suppose."
         Waving an arm to unstick the shirt from his armpit a car turned the corner slowly in his direction. Taking note he reached into his back belt…nothing was there, an instinctual response of days long passed, felt ill at easy by the situation. The car stopped and a window opened and a tattooed face emerged, speaking in Spanish asked him a question. Alex didn't think twice, responded in kind and the guy was satisfied with the answer. The passenger side door opened and another man stood up and faced Alex, a head band and loop earrings in both ears, his face adorned with a large bushy mustachio. He smiled hard and put his hands in the air as if to say I give up. In the light he seemed familiar to Alex but he wasn't sure until the gruffly voice called out to him using the very name he was tagged with as a teen by the bike gang. He stepped to the side and back a bit toward the trees, unsure of the gesture or the use of his nickname.
         The man started to walk around the car clapping his hands together in a cadence. Alex recognized the beat and matched the other man's clap; he relaxed and started to walk toward him with a growing smile on his face. The kind reserved for old friends who hadn't seen one another in a long time. Alex and the man stood face to face their hands continuing to clap and the Spanish guy speaking in a dialect of broken Spanish and French mixed together,
"Geraldo you old chiolo! " Alex started his greetings as they continued the clapping beat. " What the hell are you doing here in Gumbyville? You are over two hundred miles from your usual stomping grounds."
         Geraldo nodded in agreement and said, "Well, I am always looking for new blood and this town looked like it had potential, and there you are, a lone wolf amongst the sheep, but you are not fat. So what is wrong?"
         Alex replied that it was a good question but he had no answer for Geraldo that could possibly satisfy his Spanish ego. He laughed at Alex grabbing him in his arms and giving a hug strong enough to take the wind out of a person by the shear force of the action. He could feel his vertebrae cracking along the length of his spine as Geraldo squeezed, letting out a cry of submission. Geraldo put Alex down and held his shoulders saying, " you are thin brother, you need some good home cooked food to fatten you up, come lets eat and have a drink for old time sake." He put his arm around Alex shoulder guiding him toward the car. Alex hesitated and asked if the car was clean. "Of course the car is clean, you think I am a gangster." Geraldo smiled and opened the door for Alex. He looked inside at three faces he didn't know. Alex stood up and turned to face Geraldo. "You are the only person I know here, who are the other chiolo?"
         "They are no one and they are everyone, get in Alex" He tensed and Geraldo whispered in his ear. They looked at one another and nodded in agreement, Alex slid into the front seat next to Geraldo, and the car moved off as slowly as it had made its appearance.

         Thirty minutes later the car reached the destination, a small nondescript restaurant with fluffy curtains rimmed in lights and a small statues of the Virgin Mary on the sill of the window.
         “Well scrapper time to eat, I hope you are hungry I am sure the old lady is cooked up a storm." “Old lady?” “Yeah, bro.”
         “I am not going to ask.” Geraldo laughed and said, “She is here.” Alex shook his head and smiled and added, “ You know she isn’t safe with me Geraldo, I always had a spark for her.”
“I know Alex, you never could hide from me but I always trusted you.  I was never worried about you Alex you were always a gentlemen and showed nothing but respect. It was the other guys that worried me, never you. Come, lets eat, drink and eat more."
         “Where have you been the last six years, you leave a note and no goodbye?” “I have traveled around, keeping to myself, jumping from job to job as far away as the coast.”  Geraldo looked at him intently thinking about Alex’s short explanation and decided to leave well enough alone. He would learn more as the evening wore on, for now, let sleeping dogs lie.
         They all got out of the car and went inside. The restaurant was jammed with people, yet no cars were outside. Smoke lingered in the air around tables and a tall, lanky female with long black hair and her back to Geraldo and Alex served a table with food. Geraldo spoke out and she turned. Her eyes met Alex straight on, a broad smile and a look of excitement filled her face as her hands went up and slapped him across the face. “I deserve that” he said.
         “Damn straight, leaving without saying goodbye.” She grabbed Alex and gave him a wet kiss and hug. Geraldo looked on and said, “I guess to say look what the cat dragged in would be late.”
         Still holding Alex around the neck Antoinette turned to Geraldo and blurted out, “This cat is welcome anytime, and it doesn’t look like you dragged him, he is not bleeding”
         She stroked his cheek and put her hands on his shoulders looked him up and down, “You are thin, too thin, are you ill?” “No, I don’t eat very much.” “Well, that will change, come sit.”
         Antoinette cleared a dirty table near the back facing the door and pushed Alex down in a seat. “I will feed you, have your tastes changed?”
“No, I can eat anything you cook.”
“You better, or the dish sink has your name on it.  Good," She went off to go into the kitchen and Geraldo called out to her, "Hey old lady, anything good for me to eat?" She turned, put both hands on her hips and spoke out so everyone could hear her sarcastic manner, “You know where the kitchen is Geraldo Luis Pierre De Leon.”
         The entire restaurant burst into laughter as Geraldo knodded his head up and down with pursed lips " OK I know my place” and went into the kitchen calling out “ Momma, got anything for a hungry son?” A small woman her silver hair in a bun adorned with a silver bejeweled hair pin, a flowered apron and a kitchen towel draped over her shoulder, shook a hand at Geraldo and spoke to him in vibrant French with her hands waving in the air. “The stove is over there.”
         Antoinette brought a large plate of stew and a bowl of oranges to the table and then placed the clay jug under arm on the table. "Here Alex, eat and the oranges you know what to do with, the tequila is in the jug." Thank you Antoinette, did I hear Geraldo speak to your mother?" "Yes.” "She is here with you?"
"Go and say hello, she will be surprised."
“I don’t know after the greeting you gave me.”
“That was a love tap.”
“Hmm, my ears are still ringing.”
“Just go will you!”
          Alex got up and crept into the kitchen, peeking around the doorway saw that the old woman was busy at the sink with her back to him. Quietly he put his arms around her and said softly, “Bonjour, Mamma.” She turned to face him with a wooden spoon in her hands ready to swat him when she realized who it was. Mamma started to hug him and jump up and down, repeating his name, Alex, Alex, Alex, my son. Kissing him all over his face with her hands cupping his cheeks. Tears and a joyful smile met Alex who was blushing and felt his heart skip a beat.
         It had been a long time, released from jail first; Alex was promptly picked up by Antoinette on Geraldo’s orders and taken to the family home. Antoinette and her mother were respectful but weary of the stranger coming into their midst from jail. Geraldo had assured them that he was trustworthy and no trouble. But, that didn’t quell the churning of their stomach in his presence.
         Alex had spent six of the eight years of his sentence in jail. The remaining two were on probation. Instead of returning to his home town. he remained in the neighbouring province living with Geraldo’s mother and sister for the duration of his probation. Geraldo was released two years later and the two of them continued the friendship started in prison. Geraldo was two years older than Alex and arrived in prison two years after Alex. Geraldo fit into the prison hierarchy quickly and became a gang member within six months of his arrival; a decision he would come to regret.  Their friendship started with Alex standing up to a rival gang member who was ready to use the hidden makeshift knife on Geraldo and took the stab in his side. The other members responded by killing the guy with his own shiv and leaving him in the laundry. The guards were quick to respond and saved Alex’s life by getting him to the hospital for treatment. Things were tense after that and for a while Alex was a target until a sorted treaty was established between the two prison gangs over responsibility and purpose for the attack.
         After that Geraldo was a guardian over Alex and talked to the boss and requested Alex be inducted. At first it was dismissed and Geraldo continued his defense of Alex and his integrity to take a knife for a stranger in danger. After six months and careful investigation into the background of Alex and his involvement with the bikers, he was inducted.
         Alex felt his heart skip a beat with joy in seeing the women who cared for him after getting out of prison. Suddenly she stepped back to look at him and said, " You left without a goodbye," shaking her hand at him and then in the next breath, "You are sick, look at you so thin, I could knock you down."
“I know, Antoinette nearly did when she saw me.”
“You are not bleeding, she didn’t hit you hard enough! Come and sit at a table and let an old woman enjoy having the three she loves most in the world around her.”
She took her arm and looped into the crook of Alex elbow and led him to the table Antoinette had set. Sit, I have but a couple of orders left for the night and we can all sit and relax.”
         Antoinette placed another plate on the table and Alex looked at her in surprise. She waved his expression off with a hand; saying,“ this is for momma and I, you have yours and it appears Geraldo has taken care of himself already.” Geraldo sat with a wet sandwich of meat dripping juice down his chin as he bit into the french bread and stumbled through a sentence; pointed to the clay jug. Alex reached for it and poured out two glasses. They both saluted one another and popped the shot to the back of the throat.  Neither winced or took an orange wedge from the plate instead Alex just poured another without hesitating and the two of them saluted and again popped the shot to the back of the throat. They did this two more times before taking an orange slice each from the plate. Geraldo spoke first, “you know I thought you were crazy chopping on an orange slice instead of a lime or a lemon, but you were right it does smooth out the jolt.”
         Antoinette returned with place setting for her and momma, a wine glass and another shot glass. She poured a shot for herself and popped it back without hesitation and refilled twice more before saying anything to the men at the table. “You guys haven’t changed, two little boys when together, each pushing the other.” “Ah, come on old lady, don’t be so spoiled.” “Spoiled! You couldn’t wait for me to join you two in a drink?”
         Alex started to laugh and she punched him in the shoulder, being he was closest to her, his wince was felt by Geraldo who said ouch to the lashing as if it were him that got the punch.
         “Sorry Antoinette, you did put the jug down and leave, so I just did the pouring.”
“And the drinking without me.” “Yes, this is true, I am sorry.”
         Momma arrived at the table with a plate of warm tarts, fresh from the oven. Geraldo reached for them first and got a smack on the arm from his mother.
         “Always impatient, did you eat?”
         “Yes, I had a meat dip sandwich.”
         “I can see something...it is all over you shirt and your face.”
         “Well, you directed me to the stove, so I helped my self. If it is any consolation, the meat dip is very good momma.”  Both Antoinette and momma left to care for other customers and Geraldo leaned into the table. “Alex, where have you been these past years?” “I told you, job to job, the coast.”   “So, I have to wait for you to loosen up.”
         “Yes, you will have to wait.”   “Momma may not be so patient with you.”
         “I know, give me some time Geraldo. I haven’t felt a sense of belonging in six years.”
         “Then why did you leave brother? No warning, a note, no hug or kiss or anything.”
         “I know, there was something happening inside me I didn’t know how to handle.”
         “Handle! You handled prison, chiolo’s, even me, with kid gloves....me! You broke her heart bro....”
         I didn’t mean too Geraldo. I started too remember things I fought hard and long to forget, but they kept coming back. The feeling was the same, just the situations would change, and I couldn’t control what was happening inside.”
         “You could have said something?”
         “You don’t understand it is a dark cloud over my heart and my mind....how I see myself... a demon deep in my core I can not understand or even wish to control. It takes me places in my head I don’t want to acknowledge going even too my self.”
“Shit bro, you are scaring me.”
“You are not alone Geraldo.”
         Both Antoinette and momma returned to the table with plates of food and they all sat looking at Alex. Momma was the first to raise her wine glass.  “To my son, sorry Geraldo...”   “No offense taken mother, I am glad to see him too.”
         “Good, to my two sons, I welcome home Alex, where he has been, I don’t care as he is here now in our home again where he belongs.....cheers!”
         With that said, they began to eat, drink, laugh, and cry. For the first time in six years Alex felt a sense of place and belonging he had walked away from out of his fear. The longing of a family he truly never had as a child and fought for acceptance as the little scrapper, was now in his midst. Antoinette touched his hand as he reached for the jug and she poured the shot glasses...the three of them Alex, Antoinette and Geraldo clinking glasses, tears in their eyes put back the shots as momma looked on smiling, with her hands clasped in grace of thankfulness for the group of them together after such a long time....a sense of belonging filled each of their hearts.