Childhood Eyes

Childhood Eyes

This kid at school was bragging that his mom is in jail. He said it is best not to kill the rats because their corpses attract fleas. I guess his mom told him that. I stay at my grandmother's a lot. She has never been in jail but she smokes a lot of cigarettes. The ceiling is black above her kitchen table where she smokes. I think she is sad a lot. She likes pottery. She made an ashtray. I asked her if they have ashtrays in heaven. She spanked me. I asked her why she spanked me. She started to cry. I asked her if it was better to be sad than mad. She laughed. But it was a sad kind of laugh. Then she coughed really loudly and I felt like puking. She says I like candy too much. I told her it doesn't make me cough a lot. She spanked me again. She must like spanking me or maybe she secretly likes candy better than cigarettes. She makes funny faces when daddy's around. One time I saw daddy spit beer in her face. It was an accident. My mommy told me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you. It matters what you think of yourself. But stuff like that doesn't help if somebody tries to run you over with their car. Daddy told me that.