Stage Fright

It zips around my head
         near my heart,
         by my stomach.
A beautiful, yet strange, feeling.
I know
         the people who pass can see it.

It does not leave me be;
         this new friend
         won't go away.
I can't shake it,
         but it's okay.

It lands on my head,
         this dragonfly.
My heart rate quickens
         and my stomach churns.
A beautiful, yet strange, experience.
I know
         the people who pass look at me now.

I am afraid
         that this dragonfly will leave,
Yet terrified
         that it may stay.
For if it leaves, I have nothing.
If it stays, I have too much.

Breathing deeply,
I brush it away
         as I head onstage.
People will look at me
         if I leave it there.

Then,
As quickly as it came,
I feel relief
         as it finally goes,
Though it is not far.

Deep within me,
I sense the dragonfly is still there,
         on the ceiling,
         somewhere, because
I know
         that I can no longer be "me"
         without it.