Beached

I awoke on a brightly lit beach. At first, my sleep-weary eyes were only able to perceive a piercing white light, as if I stared straight into the sky in which the sun had reached its highest point.. I could not remember anything prior to regaining consciousness. I struggled to recall any detail of the events of the prior day, whether I had gone to sleep in my own bed-and if so, why was I now outdoors?-or even what I had for lunch last Thursday. It was as if my life begun at this very moment for nothing existed beyond it in my mind. Amnesia? Had I been injured? I felt no pain in my head or anywhere. For that matter, I was quite comfortable, save for the disturbing realization that something was terribly wrong. I may not be able to remember anything before waking up to the bright midday sun, but I knew I had a life, I was somebody, and something horrible must have taken place to put me in my current position.

I lay there on my back, unmoving, letting my eyes adjust to the harsh light, and after a moment I could make out the shape of palm leaves directly above me. They shaded me, but did not completely block the sun's rays, for a gentle breeze caused them to sway lazily about and the bright light flickered on my face in sporadic intervals.

Within five minutes or so my eyes had adjusted fully and I sat up, at first resting on my elbows in case of a head rush, then all the way until I sat cross-legged in pure white sand.

I scanned my surroundings, taking in all the detail I possibly could. The white sand surrounded me. Directly ahead of me was the bluest ocean water I had ever seen, in real life or on television, and a sky to match it. Far off in the distance I could barely make out the line where sky and ocean met. Behind and to either side of me were palm trees rising out of a dense covering of wild brush, and what appeared to be a tropical jungle stretched out behind me, seemingly endless. The thicket to my left and right didn't quite reach the shore line but ended about twenty feet short of it, forming a large cul de sac in which I now sat gazing around, dumbfounded. If I'd had a chance to see the expression on my face, I pictured I would look like a child on Christmas who'd completely forgotten about the holiday and came down the stairs one early morning to find mounds of shiny wrapped somethings piled high around the tree.

The sounds of the breeze and the slow-rolling tide of the ocean mixed pleasantly with the tropical birds and insects chirping around and above me, and I felt as if I could just doze here, comfortable and peaceful, til the end of time.

The end of time...

That thought led to another, far more troubling realization. I could be dead, and this could be Heaven! Or Hell, in all its trickery, because for all I knew at the moment I was a horrible bastard in life, completely undeserving of the endless rewards of Up There.

I had to, absolutely had to remember something about my life. No matter how hard I tried, even the minute wisps of memories fluttered away faster than my conscious mind could grasp them. At least I knew they were there. Some kind of memories were there.

I took a few deep, preparatory breaths, and I stood. It wasn't until I had fully erected myself that I realized I was completely naked. I looked around the area near me for some sort of clothing but found nothing. Walking on the warm sand was difficult, but it felt good on my bare feet.

I walked the edge of the brush, looking for some clue as to what was happening to me. When I awoke, I faced due West, with the setting sun just past the two o'clock position in the sky. How I knew this, I had no idea, but I felt in my gut I was right. I now chose a direction, North, and headed that way, intending to leave the comfort of my little cul de sac for the wide open dangers of this mysterious beach. Before I reached the end of the brush, however, I heard a rustling sound coming from the brush on the side opposite myself. I turned to look, to see what creature was so near me that it could, at any moment, leap from the bushes and have its giant teeth clamped on my throat before I had the chance to utter a single cry of surprise. I heard the sound again, a sort of stomp-snort-whoosh coming from just beyond the thick covering to the south of my position. I dared not go near it. Not only could I not see what made the sound, but I also couldn't identify the sound itself. A mystery beast. Fits perfectly with this mystery beach.

After a long moment had passed in which no other sounds came from the bushes, I continued walking north. I walked for what must have been several hours, a few times attempting to call out for any other person who might be within range to hear me, but each time I tried to speak I found I was without a voice. All that came out of my throat was a thick, wet whisper.
Eventually, in my quest to find another living thing, I gave up trying to find one and simply walked along the shore, head down, contemplating. Where am I? How did I get here, and why? What in the holy fuck is going on? Question after question raced through my mind, circled back and raced again, like dirt bikes in a track race. No answers came to me, though.
As I walked, I started noticing other details of this mysterious place. I could feel the breeze on my skin but it felt neither cool nor warm. The sun shone down on my naked back and shoulders but I felt no heat. I did not sweat. The ocean water, while I could feel its touch on my feet, did not feel wet. The only sounds were those of the tide and the birds and insects, though I hadn't seen a single cricket hopping through the sparse patches of grass that managed to poke out of the sand in random spots, nor did I see any birds, in flight or otherwise perched on a tree limb. I felt that something was observing me, but what it was, I could not begin to guess.

Also, I noticed the colors. The blue of the ocean and sky, the green of the foliage, the reds and yellows and oranges of the magnificent flowers that grew in the brush, all seemed to smear as I passed them. It was as if someone (or maybe something) were dragging an eraser over a beautiful watercolor painting, smearing them.

What felt like hours of walking could not have been more than a few minutes, for the sun had not moved in the sky. I had been watching the ground as I walked, my mind lost deep in thoughts of death and Hell and bizarre creatures hiding in the foliage and when I finally stopped to look around I realized I was back in the same spot I had started in.

I was almost in a panic, turning wildly every which way, my eyes falling upon the same scenery I had seen when I awoke in this strange place. It was then, in my loss of control and when my breathing became sporadic and rapid that I noticed the air was much different from what I was used to breathing. It felt thick, heavy in my lungs, almost like liquid but a liquid that I could breathe! I suddenly felt dizzy and fell to my knees. I closed my eyes and focused on getting my breathing under control. I tried not to think of where I was, of the painted scenery or the liquid air.

After a moment the dizziness passed and I was breathing regularly. I again decided that I needed to walk and search for anything that could help me figure all this out, and made up my mind to walk in the opposite direction in which I started. I stood up, brushed the sand from my knees, and was working up the courage to begin the search when I heard that strange noise again. It was louder this time, not closer but more insistent, it seemed. Stomp-snort-whoosh! This time I walked toward the sound. The basic need to find something else alive here overpowered what fear there had been of the mystery creatures that plagued my imagination and instead of skirting the thick brush altogether I simply barreled through it. The forest was claustrophobic and thorns scratched my bare skin but I felt no pain, and only slight apprehension, as I made my way through with a new sense of determination driving me onward.

It wasn't long before I came to another, smaller clearing where grass and moss and flowers abounded and as I stepped into the clearing I was utterly dumbfounded by what I saw there. I stopped midstride, unable to process any rational thought because what I was looking at expelled any sort of rationality and even reality from my mind. Like something from a kid's storybook, not twenty feet in front of me, stood the most magnificent beast I had ever laid eyes on. It was a horse, pure white from nose to flowing tail and glistening as if it were made of wet snow. It had the horn of a unicorn-though there were no rainbows of color anywhere on its body- and this horn appeared to spiral outward from the thing's skull and curved slightly upward. The creature also possessed wings, attached to its body just behind the shoulder blades and resembling every clichimage of an angel that I had ever seen. The wings were folded against its large body but when it noticed me it extended them upward and outward and beat the air (WHOOSH!) obviously agitated by my presence. So this is what was making that strange noise.

After a moment the beast calmed down, tucked its wings tight against its body once more, and began grazing. The grass it was eating, the grass under my feet, was soft as carpet though I could feel no texture. I was compelled to approach the creature, obtain a better view of it. What could possibly happen, after all? It's obvious that I'm having some sort of dream, because creatures such as the one in front of me simply did not exist in reality.

I took three tentative steps toward the beast. When it didn't react negatively but instead showed cautious curiosity I closed the remaining distance between us. I was less than a foot from this dream-thing, seeing it clearly in all its breathtaking detail. Its snow white mane flowed gently over its forehead, parting around the delicate horn, and partially covering both eyes. Wavy, curled locks of mane fell to the right side of its neck, glittering with what appeared to be specks of diamond all throughout its coat and mane. Its eyes were friendly, observing me with less cautiousness as before. Its sparkling tail swished calmly from side to side and the creature let out a snort like that of a bull, spraying moisture from its nostrils in the air.

I suddenly felt connected to this being, and to all beings and to every part of the jungle that surrounded me and this feeling overwhelmed me so that I gasped in disbelief. I had made eye contact with the creature, and I felt its consciousness intertwine with my own and suddenly I was seeing memories in my mind, flashes of memories of the life I had led before awakening to this day on this beach.

My life, my horrible life! Meaningless! I had done nothing in life, practiced no kindness or charity, made no peace. I had only made conflict, practiced cruelty and greed, I had ruined every life I touched! I could maybe accept this realization if it had been by accident or sheer circumstance that I had bestowed grief and toil upon so many souls, but was this not what I had set out to do? For God's sake, I dedicated my life to destroying others! It was then that I knew what was happening to me. My heart ached, not for what was to come of me, but for what I had done to others. I cried, wept, as a child would, for the lives I had destroyed. I looked at the beast before me, a single tear rolled down its face and fell to the sand.

I noticed the spot where the tear had fallen had turned black and solidified, and I knew what this meant, and I let myself accept my fate.

As the bright blue sky above us clouded over, turning a murky, chalky gray, I reached up and placed my hand on the nose of the wondrous being, This creature was the embodiment of all those things I had spent my life stealing from the lives of others; innocence, kindness, love, happiness...and I whispered my heartfelt apologies as its eyes glazed over and its body became rigid. It now had the eyes of a long-dead animal, glassy and deflated. In the not-so-far distance, thunder signaled the coming of a storm sure to be like none I had ever seen in life.

Visions flashed through my mind once more, but these were far more sinister than the memories of my wretched life. In these visions I stood in the dark, pavement underfoot and the yellow glow of a street light above. I carried a briefcase, donned a thick jacket and a matching suit. Suddenly, a voice from behind demands my attention. As I turn, the sound of gunfire drowns out all sound, and everything goes black.

So that's how I died.

Someone, surely one that I had wronged, done so viciously that the only relief he could possibly find was in my death by his own hand, had shot me as I walked home from the office on Christmas Eve. But there was no family waiting at home for me, no one would miss me, nor come to witness as I return to the ground.

My vision cleared, and I was back on the beach, the creature in front of me now nervously stomping and snorting. I removed my hand from its soft nose and staggered backward as I noticed the place where my hand had been was now a glassy black color and a spider web of cracks and fractures spread outward from that spot to cover the thing's whole face. The cracks crept down its legs and across its back, spread up its unfolded wings as the sand below us turned into black glass and the sky grew darker still. The patches of green grass on which the animal had been feeding disappeared beneath a trembling ground and the sand around its feet solidified, trapping it instantly. Above the ocean, a vast black cloud moved in our direction, faster than the wind that carried it, and the creature began to panic. The air grew cold, so cold that the animal's short breaths were visible as it exhaled, and the smell of burnt wood reached my nose as the storm cloud above us came close enough for me to see that it was no cloud at all but an expansive swarm of individual things. The trees thrashed and the ocean churned, as if everything had become angry, angry with me. There was fear in the creature's eyes and mine as well, and the swarm moved closer. I could now make out forms, and I saw that the swarm comprised of hundreds of beasts similar to the one standing next to me, only slightly larger and completely black and shiny as steel. Their horns were barbed, their manes and tails made up of long mats of coarse hair.

There was one beast in front of the swarm as if leading the way, and suddenly this beast dove down toward where I stood, its wings folded back to increase its speed, and it aimed itself directly at where I was standing. The beautiful beast to my left, now covered with strange patterned cracks and fractures, feathers and pieces of flesh and hair falling to the blackness below it, reared its head and struggled to free itself from the solidified sand that held it fast in place.

As the black creatures swooped down, the one in front and seemingly in charge collided with the animal I had defiled and I dove out of its path. I rolled on the sand-turned-glass and watched as the dark beast rose back into the sky with the white beast impaled on its barbed horn. It flew out over the ocean and I saw the poor creature that had been taken fall into the gray, churning water and disappear.

The swarm of dark beasts was upon me, dozens of the creatures swooping down and rising up, their black wings-not feathered but more closely resembling bat wings-thrashing the air and the down-draft from those wings incinerated all the flora it touched. Leaves, trees, vines all turned to ash, and it was obvious that these creatures were intentionally causing this damage. I was spared this horrible fate, however, for I felt the wind from their wings on my skin.

I was still on the ground, watching this destruction with horror and disbelief, when my eyes found the spot where the white beast had stood. Protruding from the hardened sand were what was left of its legs. The force of the dark beast colliding with it and carrying it off was sufficient enough to completely separate its legs from its body at the joints, and I stared in horror and disbelief at the bloody stumps protruding from the black glass-sand. Suddenly the legs began to spider web with cracks and fractures, from the hoof to the wretched joint, and shattered into a thousand pieces simultaneously.

I hit my knees, watching the swarm of evil creatures flutter and circle above me, and I put my face in my hands and let out a cry so pathetic and unfamiliar to me that it could have come from someone else. Tears streamed down my face, and I had the terrible feeling that I was never leaving this beach.

I heard a series of soft thuds and flutters, and realized that the beast that had impaled the white creature stood before me looking directly at me, blood still dripping from its dagger-like horn and running in a small rivulet down its forehead. Its eyes were like those of a snake, and they mesmerized my feeble mind as I looked deep into them.

I was overcome with sorrow and anger and utter hopelessness as this animal communicated with me telepathically and answered the one question that had been resonating in my mind; Is this Hell? Memories from my life played through my mind like a movie in fast-forward. Images of crying women and drunken men, images of funerals and arrests, and my heart burned for I was the cause of all that heartbreak in life. An image of a young man hanging from a rafter by his neck, with a scratchy note pinned to his shirt; I'm sorry.

Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry! For every evil deed or greedy act I have committed, I wish I could take it all back, all that pain! That's when the realization hit me that this horrible creature had been summoned by yet another selfish act; the white beast, symbolizing purity and innocence, had been tainted by my hand when I touched it. Its death was my fault. All this was my fault.

The black beast before me threw its head back and roared, spread its wings, and began running. With wings fully extended and paddling the air, it leapt and caught a strong upward draft and disappeared into the swarm once more. Once reunited, the creatures began to retreat back to wherever they came from, and soon the swarm was no longer visible to me over the tree line.

I felt a force like a tugging from behind me, then a strong shove from my front. I fell backwards onto the sand, which was sand now and not the ugly black glass. I lost consciousness.

I awoke on a brightly lit beach...