Why Am I Dead? season 1 episode 5

Episode 5 "Hanging On By A Thread"

Matt sat on my bed as I lay on the floor in my room. I was looking to the ceiling, trying to think back to anything before I was taken to the ER. I couldn't clear my mind and if I did I'd find nothing! It was useless. I sighed and glanced up at Matt. I shook my head, "I...I don't care anymore!"

Matt shot up and cocked his head. He croaked up, "What? You seriously don't care anymore?"

I looked down knowing that dad and Mike were watching over my mother. I shook my head, "I guess not. My place is here with them. Maybe I'm not meant to move on, maybe this is what's in store for me?"

Matt fixed his beanie that covered most of his hair as he mumbled, "Shouldn't give up...."

I looked at him with confusion, "What?"

He smirked, "You shouldn't stay here... this isn't living in the after life....it's only the in between. Aliah I can, we can help you move on. You shouldn't just give up until you're sure about it. You've only been dead a week or so right?"

I scratched my head and shrugged, "Alright... let's keep going then?"

Matt began walking away as he jokingly murmured, "The way you put it....sounds so wrong!" I smirked as he walked out of the room and headed toward the kitchen. I lay on my floor thinking about what's best and what I should do. I vanished and appeared in the kitchen now. I looked Matt straight in the eye and looked him over for a moment.

I murmured, "Why are you acting weird? You know something don't you?"

Matt broke eye contact, a sign of someone lying. He shook his head, "I know a lot of things but if you think I'm lying to you about something....then no. No I've got nothing to lie about."

I grabbed a hold of his shirt and glared, "YOU KNOW SOMETHING....YOU HAVE TO!"

Matt pushed me off and looked to my father. He sighed, "Listen... you asked me why I killed myself a while ago okay well....I'll make you a trade off. I'll tell you exactly why I offed myself if you promise not to get made at me for keeping a little tid bit of information from you."

I glared at him, so bad I wanted to punch him square in his face! I growled, "WHAT HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME!?"

Matt sighed and tried stalling but it didn't work after I stared a hole right through him. He murmured, "I know why you died but I can't tell you....the truth is just too much for you...I..."

I cut him off, "YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULD NOT KNOW!"

Matt tried reasoning with me, "Aliah please, I didn't want to tell you because it'll tear your family apart! I've seen how much you loved your family and I know that yes the truth will set you free but it'll destroy your family and your former life!"

I stomped over to the table and grasped my father's coffee mug. He stopped me with, "Don't you dare break that! Your mother gave me that!"

I fumed, "WHY AM I DEAD?!"

Matt cracked his neck and sighed, "First....I killed myself because I was a failure as an artist! I wanted my wife to have everything she wanted but our life was spiraling down the drain. We weren't working out and I thought this was the best way to forget her and everything else..."

I had my hands on my hips, a foolish sight I must admit but I shook my head as I repeated myself, "Why am I dead?"

Matt looked to my father and shook his head, "I...I can't tell you. If I told you you'd forever hate your father!"

I waved him off, "Fine then...I'll just ask some of MY friends!" I vanished without a single shred of hesitation. I was going to find out one way or another why I was dead! I found myself on the beautiful beach of California as I searched for Sal. He was catching some sun instead of surfing. I sat down beside him, my knee's tucked up to my chest as I sighed.

He opened one eye and urged, "Ghost child...what bother's you on a fine day like this?"

I began sobbing in my knees as my voice was muffled, "My friend lied to me and said he didn't know why I was dead....now he won't tell me because he thinks it'll make me hate my dad."

Sal sat up and went to put his arm around me but then stopped when he remembered he was alive. He shrugged, "Ghost child why is it that you want to know so bad? Why do you want your door? Aren't you happy in this place? Haven't the winds taken you to a happier place?"

I shrugged, "I'm happy sure....but there's so much more for me isn't there?"

Sal looked to the sea gulls and nodded, "Let me tell you a story, see the birds? Those are one of the most unhappy birds ever and let me tell you why, you've been to the beach before right?"

I nodded and listened as he spun a tale about how sea gulls are one of the most hated birds and how they have to live with being hated so much but really it doesn't matter what people think because people aren't birds. Then he proceeded to flip it around to maybe I shouldn't know because it doesn't matter why I'm dead because it wouldn't change a thing.

I finally stood up, wiped my eyes and thanked Sal. I said my goodbye as I left California and found myself back at my old house. I looked around and noticed the light to my moms room was on and the door nearly shut. I inched my way as I called, "Mom....mom you okay?"

I shut up pretty quick as I realized, I'M DEAD. Man that would take some getting used to. I continued to inch my way to her room as I peered around the door. I could see a foot, a shoe and then a leg. I crept in the room and glanced at my mother who sat on her bed. Tears strolled down her face as the closet door was hanging open and she held a gun in her hand!

I shouted with all my might, hoping that maybe somehow my voice would be heard. I screamed, "MOM DON'T! PUT IT DOWN!" I walked up to her and with all my might tried to take it away from her. I couldn't grab it, couldn't take it out of her hands.

I turned and screamed for help, "GUYS COME QUICK. HELP! SHE'S GOING TO KILL HERSELF!" I tried reasoning with her, tears streamed down my face now as I knew that I couldn't save her. I also knew that if she killed herself here and now she'd be forced to live out the rest of her after life stuck in between this world and whatever was next. Heaven I guess....if that's the case then this must be Hell?

She gripped the gun and I watched in horror as she rose it to her temple. I did everything I could, slapped her, tried hugging her and stealing the gun away. I shouted, "WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?! DAD....MIKE....MATT...MATT PLEASE I'M SORRY.....DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN!" I turned and found the room empty. It was only me and my mother and the gun....

I heard something...I turned to see Matt. He kept his face lowered as he sighed, "I'm so sorry Aliah...."

BAM!

The noise was ear piercing....it echoed through the empty room and as I turned all I saw was my mother's body fall back onto the bed, the gun fell to the floor and the wall behind her painted red! I tried to catch her before she landed on the bed but I couldn't...she slipped through my hands. My tears became hers as I sobbed and moaned inaudible things. I lost it...my entire family was now dead and my mother would never be able to get her door. I cried, "Mom....no...."