Electric Starlight - A WCS Short Story

I try to keep my composure. It's a bit too late to yield to my second thoughts. Under normal circumstances, I never would have come here, but Mika called out to me, and I came. My family doesn't know I'm here - if they found out I was at one of these 'sinful' concerts, they'd flip out. As far as they know, I'm at Mika's place studying for a school project. In reality, I'm descending into a giant bowl filled with screaming, jumping madmen and over-pierced freaks. And Mika. I knew I said I was going to leave all that propaganda behind me, but I'm actually scared of what's going to happen here. My brother told me that only the Outsiders can handle revelries like this, that Harmonites like me are too pure, too innocent, and too holy to withstand the decadence that goes on at these things, and the Shepherds tell tales of how people like us usually end up dead or worse because we know better than to come, and once we do, The Lord removes His protection and lets us learn our lesson the hard way.

I had already told myself what a flawed concept that was - too cruel for a loving God - but now from simply seeing just how debauched these people look, I can't help but worry that the Harmonites' higher-ups aren't telling horror stories to rule us with fear, but are simply teaching us about how cosmically unfair the world we live in actually is - how pleasure leads to tragedy, and how deprivation leads to salvation. My hands shake and my skin crawls, and I'm just staring into the darkness, slashed into shards by flashing lasers and mended back together by smoke, and my mind is racing and running, and blinding and binging on red-hot warnings when suddenly a voice closes Pandora's box almost as hard and fast as it opened.

"Nico!" Mika calls out. "You alright, dude?"

And just like that she reminds me why I let her bring me here. To stop being the "Nicolas" and "Nick" that I'm tired of being, who obeys and conforms without question, and to be "Nico", who I want to be, and who decides his own right and wrong. Only I'm not Nico yet. But I introduced myself that way to her. I only let Outsiders call me "Nico". Harmonites don't even know about that name.

I get myself together and head deeper into the crowd with her.

I start off awkward, as I always am. Then time changes things, as it always does. And I start moving. I start swaying, and then bouncing, and then with a flourish of bright blue light sweeping across the crowd with a cheer, instead of my thoughts, I hear music - fast, pounding, indomitable and irresistible, and my feet take me along. It's a mass of people jumping around, and I have to try and push through them while my body still belongs to the beat, until I find Mika again. I can barely see in here, but I can feel her next to me now. We're pushed so close together, and we're crashing into each other so hard that it's like our bodies are trying to break past the barriers of our flesh so that our souls touch. I can barely understand a word of the song that's playing, but the song itself says enough. The wild melody is too lyrical for me not to get the message: 'Let go. Be free.' I let the music pour over me, and it becomes a shower that washes away the fear as I realize that everyone's here for the same reason - not to hurt me, but to have a good time. The dance floor doesn't lie, and she spoke to me clearly enough through it and her movements.

Thank God for you, Mika. I'm sure He couldn't consider a night this beautiful to be a sin.

After we've all exhausted ourselves, I find myself at one of the booths. A drink in my hand that I assured Mika wasn't a beer. It wouldn't have even made any sense for anyone but me to be the designated driver.

"Looks like someone's having a good time tonight." Mika says as she makes her way over to me. "You barely said a word on the way here, and now you're just zipping around like some kind of puppy."

I flash her a smile and try not to stare too much. "It's just that on the way here, I was so worried about something bad happening... I've never been to one of these things before, you know."

She smiles back. "So what changed?"

Something about the moment just feels so romantic here. Even though the music is the loudest, wildest electronic storm of saw-synths and bassdrops you can imagine, it may as well be violin strings and sparkling pads between us.

"I just realized... nothing I worried about was even true. I love it! I love the music! I love the energy!"

She looks so beautiful under the electric starlight.

"And I love you, Mika."

She nearly chokes on her drink, looking at me like I've just done something completely insane.

"You mean, like, 'love me' love me, or...?"

Suddenly, my soul gets sick. What's wrong with me? Why do I always screw these things up with everyone? Maybe I could make her think she misunderstood what I said. The music's pretty loud, after all. No use - Nothing sounds like "I love you". You can hear it through the cracks between rapid-fire blips and screaming fans, through the wobble bass dragging along the proverbial screaming robot in every dubstep track ever. The only thing left for me to do is try and save myself with what I've got.

Play it cool.

Do my eyes sparkle under the blue like hers do? Does my hair look as good blowing in the wind? Do I look romantic, or at least alluringly mysterious? Or do I look creepy, and have I just ruined everything? I give her my best attempt at a sweet smile.

"'Love you' love you."  I reply.

She just blinks, blown away, and I don't think it's in a good way as she slowly turns away with a squint.

"Maybe you really are drunk." She takes another sip.

Great job, Nico. You blew it.