Amazed by the Light for the Second Time

Amazed by the Light for the Second Time

I grew up being taugtht about Jesus and God at church how ever there always seems to be many that don't believe and although my feelings and faith were pretty shaky. I could never understand how the world and people could be so different, opinionated and some so out spoken about this subject. It always seemed that families and things should have been different than what they were and are from then until now. Growing up I could never understand how so much hate coul.d be so obvious and not only that but how much physically and emotionally it could destroy people. All my life I had to fight just to survive and not give up but I was one that became quiet and very withdrawn because it just never seemed that I fit in any where.Durring my childhood with all the abuse I survived through with out actually giving up although I wont say that I never tried or prayed that my life would end but I was a kid looking for a way out to find a safe place or someone that would get me back with my birth mom.Through all that I never saw the light but darkness set in really quickly and so did the thought of being forgotten. It wasn't until the mid nineties after ending up with a ruptured apendix and running a fever of one hundred six, turning yellow, trying to take care of my two babies in diapers still and driving myself to the hospital fading in and our and praying to God to watch over my kids and having no insurance and looking at being sent back home which I would not have made it through the night.

My sister came up tho the emergency room to get my kids and see what they were going to be doing to help me. She stayed with me for most of the day.They all knew something was wrong and that I was beyond sick especially when I was fading in and out all the time during the whole day. It was like they ran every test on me except the one they should have done. It got to the point that I was on my last leg so to speak and thats when I saw the very bright light going down to the end of the tunnel. It was so bright, and warm and a sense of peace just came over me all my cares and worrys were gone.I do remember telling my sister I was going to follow the light to the end and I scared her cause she went and asked the er doctors if they were just going to let me did and she told them I was going into the light then everything went dark and I didnt have surgery until later that night.

The second time I saw the light again was on August 5, 2014 when I went in to have surgery to have a two inch mass removed and tested to see if it some sort breast cancer. I arrived at the hosptal a litle early got registered and waited for my turn. It was a long day, a trying day and not only that but I have back issues and migrane issues and i was kind of in an up and down mood. I was trying to joke and stay positive but the negative side was trying to keep popping back in.I was tired, hungry aggigated because of back pain and just waiting for my surgery time. This time when I saw the light i also had my eyes closed and still could see the light so bright but I also had to pull the blanket over my head cause it was like the light just kept getting brighter and brighter but at the same time I also was no where near the opperating room. Once I started comming around I remember waking up pushing some one away and fighing them and then out of no where came the night that mu head was getting pounded on the floor when I was a kid by a parent and for reason unknown it was like God telling me to follow the light come to him and I would be safe It was like God was reasurring me he had my back. So I can honestly believe that there is a God and a Light at the end of the tunnel and I have to say that the light was extreely bright and warm.