The "Joys" of Getting Ready for Prom

The "Joys" of Getting Ready for Prom

Prom.
That time of year where we have to dress up and take lots of ridiculous pictures.
I'm cool with that.
But it's what you have to do to get ready for prom that has driven me to the brink of insanity.

First,
The "dress up" part of it.
You MUST
I repeat: YOU MUST
have a matching colored tie and vest to the color of her dress.
"Who cares," I say. "Why does it matter; it's just a dance."
"WHO CARES?!!" they yell. "EVERYONE CARES!!"
Or so they say.
Because I am not everyone.

But wait, there's more!
She MUST
I repeat: SHE MUST
get a "corsage" to match the color of her dress.
"Who cares," I say. "And what's a corsage? What? Those 'wrist-flower-things?'"
"WHO CARES?!!" they yell. "EVERYONE CARES!!"
Or so they say.
Because I am obviously not everyone.

Oh don't worry, we're almost done.
She MUST
I repeat: SHE MUST
wear a garter under her dress,
pull up her dress for a picture to show it (which we all know is going to end up on Facebook one way or another, and that simply infuriates me),
AND...ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD,
and then take it off and give it to me TO WEAR on my arm, or my wrist, OR WHEREVER THEY SAID TO WEAR IT!!!!

The amount of BS required for an event so minute in my life
has pushed me to the brink of insanity because of
how ridiculous
how time wasting
and how utterly incomprehensible the amount of idiocy was required to come up with this madness.
I do NOT want to go to prom anymore.
I quit.