The rest of the story and the question of commitment 1995 words |
JABRINA Act Three Jabrina’s hand patted the empty side of the bed. She turned her head and looked at the sheets where Millicent had lain just an hour ago. With a tired sigh, she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. The moon was waxing into the thumbnail and Millicent was out hooking. Tears filled her, yet she knew she wouldn’t find it within herself to leave. She understood why Millicent must go out. She appreciated and resented the money that paid for their standard of living. She resented that she couldn’t satisfy Millicent’s hunger without increased consequence to herself, and that she was allowed to satisfy her own growing need to reciprocate and take a little back of what she freely gave only once a year. Jabrina pulled herself up from the bed and walked to the sliding window. Her chest ached and her throat clenched. She slid the glass door open and stepped out onto the deck. The air was chilled and caressed her hot skin. A slight breeze blew and tickled through her pubes. Jabrina looked up at the thumbnail orb and her tears flowed over her cheeks, dripped off her chin and onto her bare breasts. Five years next month; five years they would consummate their relationship. Next month Jabrina would give herself to Millicent for the last time. She knew it, yet she still denied it. She could never leave her. Millicent needed her and she needed Millicent. Jabrina closed her eyes. Yes, she would leave. She would feed Millicent one more time then she would go away, never to come back. The life they had together was killing her in ways Millicent couldn’t understand; well, maybe she could understand. Jabrina knew Millicent wouldn’t be surprised that she had gone. Millicent expected to come home and find her and her things gone every time she came back from her lustful frenzies with her thousands in cash in hand. Life with Millicent between the moon cycles was heaven. They played and worked and frolicked with the ease of friends and lovers. They had much in common when it came to music, art and literature. Their tastes complimented each other from curtains and furniture to clothing and jewelry. Jabrina had her moments of voluntary solitude and Millicent let her love show in many caring ways. Jabrina hugged herself as she remembered the first time Millicent allowed her to take from her. They’d been together over a year and Millicent had come in and caught Jabrina crying. “Hey, now Sweets, what is the waterfall all about?” Jabrina turned her back toward Millicent and shook her head. “Please, let me be alone right now, please.” Millicent had stopped inches from her. Jabrina could feel that radiant heat of her body upon her. She wanted to turn at that moment and give herself to Millicent but she stood rigid and cried. “If, if you really wish to be alone I will be in the other room.” Jabrina nodded, hugging herself and stifled a weeping scream behind gritted teeth and closed lips. Millicent left the room and closed the door behind her. Jabrina was more alone at that moment than when Millicent left to hook away her hunger. She cried a full hour before she felt sure enough of herself to open the door and join Millicent in the living room. Millicent had the stereo playing. She reclined on the couch with her eyes closed listening to Bach. She had showered in the guest bath and wore only a towel. Her hair was dry, so she had sat some while, waiting. Jabrina didn’t know which song played, she didn’t care. She stood over Millicent and watched her chest rise and fall as she breathed. Without opening her eyes, Millicent had spoken. “Go ahead, do it my love.” Jabrina had stepped back. “Do, do what?” Millicent opened her eyes and fixed Jabrina’s gaze onto hers. “Possess me, like you allow me to possess you. It will be okay. It won’t kill me.” “Are you sure? It won’t weaken you?” Jabrina knelt before Millicent. Millicent spread her legs and Jabrina leaned between her knees. She laid her head in Millicent’s lap and breathed in her sweet musk through the terry towel. “I am yours, my Sweet. I give myself to you, if you will take me?” “Oh Millicent, I love you more than I could ever show and I feel so ashamed that I am so selfish.” “The shame is not yours, Jabrina. Please, show me what it is you want. Take what you need from me.” And she had. Her joy, that first night, as she rode upon Millicent’s passion, had been what she needed to sustain her for over three years. Her hunger was different from Millicent’s. Hers was an emotional hunger whereas, Millicent’s was physical. Millicent hadn’t lied, exactly. She had aged dramatically over those several hours of giving herself. Her youthful body had bagged and shriveled but Millicent had told Jabrina not to worry, she would be fine in the morning. Jabrina fell asleep, reassured that her love would rejuvenate over night. She woke to an empty bed. That afternoon Millicent returned, she was her old youthful self, but she wouldn’t let Jabrina approach her before she could shower. It was then that Jabrina understood. So it was, from that moment on, that she allowed the compromise that every time she possessed Millicent and brought her to orgasm--the sweet death as Millicent called it--she accepted that Millicent would have to go out and feed. Jabrina asked once, what Millicent did to satiate her hunger. She asked only once and that had been enough. She didn’t ask again. She didn’t want to know exact details. Later, Millicent handed her a video tape, after the next moon cycle. Jabrina watched most of the tape once and that once was enough. Jabrina looked up at the moon and shivered. The tape Millicent had given her was still in the drawer where she'd left it. Many times over the last couple years she'd taken it out, but always returned it without watching. Some nights she took it out intending to destroy it, but tonight she took it out to watch it; again. She hadn’t realized she had it in her hands until she placed it in the vcr/TV unit. It started playing automatically. Millicent’s voice spoke to her as the camera lifted from a blue sheet. It rose in a slow progression until Millicent and four other couples were focused and centered in the picture. Millicent had introduced each person by name. After introductions, they writhed in an orgy of lust. The tape was six hours long but it contained gaps. Millicent explained the gaps were resting times when her party needed to recoup their strength. Jabrina watched as Millicent stroked and licked and rode each of the people in the tape. She was magnificent and never once gave of herself, always careful to divert the man wishing to provoke a female orgasm toward a woman on the verge. Then as the man rode the bucking woman, Millicent rimmed him so she still fed on the frenzy and received her nourishment. It was four hours into the tape that Jabrina noticed something she'd missed the first time. She rewound the tape and slowed it to one-quarter speed. In the midst of the most intense sexual frenzy, a mist enveloped the party. All nine bodies were convulsing in simultaneous orgasm. Millicent had succumbed to a woman’s attentions. Jabrina had missed this portion of the tape the first time. Possibly because she had stopped watching before reaching this far. Yet, it wasn’t Millicent’s sweet death that caught her attention, rather it was the mist. In the slow motion of the tape, every one exhaled a vapor from themselves as they orgasmed. As Millicent orgasmed she too emitted a vapor that intertwined with all the other vapors. Jabrina watched as Millicent’s eyes changed from ecstasy and delight to terror. Then Millicent moved away from the persistence of the woman-Susan was her name-and stopped her orgasm. Susan was engulfed by her own orgasm from the attentions of two men so she hadn‘t noticed that Millicent had retreated from her. Jabrina watched as Millicent’s terror changed back to pleasure, and then again, into ecstasy as she breathed in the mist entwining around the writhing sweaty bodies. Jabrina rewound the tape and watched again from the point where Millicent succumbed to her own orgasm and her terror as her sexual energy joined the energy of the others. Millicent’s eyes had turned a golden color. Jabrina remembered seeing Millicent’s eyes that color before. Those nights she possessed Millicent’s body and brought her to orgasm, her eyes always seemed to fade from their light brown to gold. She watched as Millicent aged before her eyes. The other’s hadn’t noticed because they were intent upon their own release. Jabrina watched again as Millicent breathed in the vapors and saw her transition from ancient to youthful and all trace of the mist disappeared. Jabrina stopped the tape and removed it from the machine. She felt cold as stone. Everything Millicent had told her about herself, about what it meant for her to feed, came into stark reality. Jabrina realized she never really believed Millicent. She’d convinced herself to pretend to believe her lover because she couldn’t bear to live without her. Even after seeing her lover age before her own eyes she had convinced herself that it was a trick in the lights. Jabrina sat on the couch and held the tape in her hands. She understood now. This time she believed what her eyes had shown her. Her belief made a difference. Jabrina breathed in steady calm breaths. She sat on the edge of the couch and evaluated the last five years of her life. Her moments of jealous anguish and tormented grieving were balanced by the equal moments of pure accelerated joy and ecstasy. But, there was also the calm and the partnership between the cycles of the moon. Could she give up that part of her life; the sharing and caring? Jabrina stood, then placed the video into the fireplace and built a fire. No, she wouldn't choose to give up the good in her life. She’d given her life over to a demon. Yet, Jabrina knew, whatever she was, Millicent loved her as purely as she loved Millicent. Jabrina walked out into the night air and looked up at the crescent cheshire smile of Millicent's moon. Millicent would come home in the morning and be calm and satiated. Her hunger would be satisfied and maintained upon the sweet snacks she received from Jabrina until the next waxing thumbnail. Next month, on their fifth anniversary Jabrina would feed Millicent and give herself completely over to her lover. She wanted Millicent to possess her and breath her in. She loved Millicent as she could never love anyone else. Jabrina knew love was the giving of herself freely to another. She also knew it was an obsessive instability that tormented both the taker and the giver. Millicent wept for what Jabrina lost to her each anniversary after she fed. During the next full moon cycle she begged Jabrina to possess her and take her to her exquisite mini-death. Jabrina knew she would stay and gift Millicent with her next sweet death. She would stay with Millicent another year and another year after that. She would stay by Millicent until Millicent took her last bit of life energy. The demon never aged and yet Jabrina felt herself aging faster than she ought to. Jabrina knew how she wanted to die. She wanted to die while she and Millicent kissed. She wanted to die in Millicent’s arms. Jabrina knew that Millicent would grant her this wish when the time came. Millicent loved her that much and she owed it to Jabrina to grant her that ending. Millicent was a demon with a conscience and a sense of honor; and Jabrina loved her with all her soul. 1995 words |