My Story

Nobody understands. No-one gets what its like to live with depression. What its like to have your mood change instantly, one minute you're fine and you're happy, then one little bad thing happens and you're thrown into this spiralling depression that you feel like you're never going to get out of.

Everyone says it will be okay or "don't worry you'll get through this", but they just don't understand how hard it is to get up in the morning knowing nothing is going to be different. You paste a smile on your face so that people don't worry because you know that they don't really want to listen to your problems anymore. They expect you to get on with life just like everyone else so you pretend your ok.

That was my life, day in day out. I hated myself, everything seemed like a chore to do, even things I used to enjoy. I avoided people and eventually ended up on my own, which of course is when the loneliness set in making everything worse. Depression destroys you, it eats away at everything you are. It makes you think you're worthless, ugly, and stupid. It makes you think that no-one would ever want you and that your life is pointless. It's hard to fight back when your own mind is your enemy.

I know there are probably millions of people out there battling with depression, thinking their lives are never going to get better. I thought that too, but my life did get better. I got help, I found love, and life is so much better now. I still have problems, I still have days were it seems like the end of the world, but I know how to fight it now.

I want to tell my story to the world. I don't know what good it will do, but I hope that it will help some people. Maybe it will inspire people to fight their depression, maybe it will just help people realise they're not alone in the world. Maybe it will help other people realise how big a problem depression is and they won't be so quick to judge people in the future. Maybe it won't do any good at all, who knows, but I want to try.

So if you're interested, this is my story of how I rebuilt my life, how I found love and how I learned to be happy with myself again. If I were you I would find a quiet spot and get comfortable, it's a long story. Ready? Here goes ...