Chapter 1, vol. 1 in english

Chapter One

vol. 1

Beeping sound of an alarm woke me up. Once again on my way to school. I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face and off I went. The noise of the city attacked all my senses, sound of car horns echoed across the street, unappealing smell of hotdogs made my stomach growl. I headed for my direction. Along the way I bought a newspaper from a Chinese immigrant. I looked at the scoreboards and threw them away.

After a few minutes I got to the place. At the door, Michael was already waiting for me with a coffee in his hand. Every morning he looked older and older, his hair got grey. I have not seen him smiling in weeks. Since his cancer started to get worse he does not give a damn about anything. And I do not blame him. We greeted each other, he handed me a cup of coffee and slowly walking we went in. I looked up. So this metal building is my school. Plaster in places fallen, instead of windows metal panels. I quickly drank coffee, black, disgusting. But at least it was free. I spat on the floor and walked inside. Inside was even more noise than outside. I beeped with my card, so the people up there know that I am ready to earn those 75 cents. I sat down before my machine for crushing plastic bottles and turned on muscle memory. In a few minutes I will be only moving the lever every two seconds for the rest of the day. Sirens were playing motivational slogans: "Do not ruin the nature. Recycle bottles. Let us help nature". Such bullshit. Nature cannot be destroyed, it will always develops, only thing we can destroy are ourselves. The same female voice announced the launch of the eight -hour working time and treadmill began to move. My monotonous work began. I did not focus on work, I did the whole thing automatically. I still thought of Jenn. The more I have been reminding it to myself, the more I felt confident that it was the biggest mistake of my life. I did not have to do this job, I could get better. But I was stupid, like every young man, and now I have to live with it. There is no second chance, not today.

Suddenly, someone started screaming out loud in pain. I sigh. I looked at the wall clock. It was showing six minutes after seven in the morning and already the first accident. The worst part is that I was here entirely in charge, I had to keep an eye on my block. Although, I had because of it a few cents more but it was not worth it anyways. All this work was not worth it. I nodded to Michael and he took over for me at the machine. I took a first aid kit and went to look for that guy. It was not difficult to find him, even in this noise the man was shouting his voice off. But more a child than a man. When I found him, somebody was with him, a friend I suppose, but I sent him away. Everybody here is well aware that at any price you cannot leave the machine and thus slow down production. This one probably is not. Newbie. I looked at the one on the ground, he was bleeding. This line was working with a metal, must have got cut or something. It was not anything serious, but it still left a lot of blood. I picked up the bandage and I wrapped it around his left forearm. I helped him to his feet and took him out. "Get some fresh air, you got ten minutes, then you have to come back, or you can get out of here". I did not want to be rude, but I did not care. Anyone working here, must work hard, regardless of suffer, if he wants his money. But still, poor boys, barely finished school and now they have to work here. But what can I do, everyone here has to work to survive. I put back the aid kid and went back to my line. I thanked Michael. He has even worse job than me, just standing and looking at who needs stand in, and then work instead of him. And gets as much as he does. If no one needs to stand in all day, he gets nothing. He took the place of the little guy, with a bit of luck, he will have to go home and Michael will get to earn some. Passed a couple of hours and it was time for lunch. Again the siren: "Notice: due to a suspected spread of salmonella is today's lunch repealed. I repeat: because of the suspected spread of salmonella is today's lunch repealed. Please continue to work. "Such bullshit. We did not get lunch for two weeks now.

Probably because of the cold. Every year during the winter there is less work than usual. For some reason people in this dreck produce less mess in winter time than during the rest of the year. The Company is not flattered with this at all, so they cut the expenses where they can. It's a hundred times heard song about how we must understand that the time is "bad" and therefore it is time to tighten the purse strings. I would love to ask that genius, who figured this out, who undoubtedly earns 100times more than me, if he really thinks that the time is, or ever was something other than bad. This time, apparently, we got cut of the lunch. I doubt that Salmonella would dare to come here without being destroyed by the crap that comes from the machines, which we so fervently breathe. On the other side at least I will save on disinfectant, right? And after all, at least they did not cut my pay check like in previous years. At the end of each week, supervisor of each section is tasked to present the productivity of his people to his overseers. These meetings are for me like a little bright light in these grey days because to see ten dumb people trying to explain numbers can sometimes be comic. How this company, in this conditions can still work is still a mystery to me. The overseers will present it to their supervisors, and that way we will get to our "bread giver" as he likes to be called, old dick, or our Headmaster, who has control over our entire neighbourhood. Actually better bureaucracy you would not find even in one of the Ministries. Just today comes his long-awaited speech to workers. Oh, how I love to stay after work at work two hours longer so that I can listen to man from whom I get physically ill. It is still only the morning and I am already thinking about the inconveniences. I have to keep busy mind. The young boy still did not show up and it is been already over fifteen minutes. "Michael, it looks like you have job today, enjoy the fill of it." Michael smiled slightly spasmodic and with quick step went to the metal Screener, perhaps if by any chance the guy would show up and take it back. Even if he would show up even four minutes ago, I would still send him away. After some time here I learned that most important human virtue is his reliability. If you do not have it, you do not have a chance in here or in this small state. "My God". What am I talking about, sometimes I catch myself talking like I am in command of this fucking place. What is wrong with me today, and lately? The guys I have known for a long time here, they no longer talk to me as to a friend. They take me as a supervisor. Even as I noticed, Michael has changed towards me. This damn place. This damn place is going to kill me. Just like it did with my dreams on the first day, and with my hopes for any future on the second one since I came here. This neighbourhood, its sound, smell and taste dulls your perceptions so successfully that after a while you are clear that you are on the worst place you have ever been. Convincing and influencing, yes, it really works here perfectly. Staff here is deprived of pride, if they, of course, came here with some left, as of what I know about the type of people, who come here to "seek happiness" do not give a great chance. And anyway, the society that lives on the other side of these sheet metal monsters is also quite terrifying. Especially for old people here, who still remembers how there was once a park, and the blue sky was visible, and how people lived their lives in a utopian society must be aghast. I said in a utopian, well, certainly from the perspective of youngsters, from the perspective of people who at least at elementary school learned some history it was great times as well , however, those know that the decades before were even better and more beautiful. The human race really has my credit for it can adapt to everything. Everything when it does not know that it is better elsewhere. These people do not even have a clue that it's somewhere better, do not know that in certain parts of Africa is stable vegetation. I know, we were there with my father five years ago to look at. After that it was all different. On the very first day, it was the only time a Headmaster spoke with me. Thus, I rather just listen. Very clearly explained to me that if I intend to survive here, I shall not spread the nonsense about the fact that it is somewhere better than here. Here, on this place, where the specimen is seen of what they call on TV as “the result of destruction of nature by external influences" or as I like to call it "technical K.O. by mankind to himself".

I quickly shook my head and let go of those thoughts aside. It was true but I got bored of feeling sorry for myself. After all, it's my fault. If I had never trusted her, I would not end up here, I could get better and my father could still live. Stupid bitch. I have no friends, no decent job, no family, no mood for living. They even put a fucking safety nets around roofs in case if somebody with thoughts similar to mine would decide to make a scandal to the company. Of course, you cannot see them from the outside, what kind of advertising would that be, and those old sprayed sheets certainly will not no harm the credibility of the company. But nobody comes here anyways, and their headquarters in the capital is sumptuously furnished for profiteers to know what to invest in. It is not worth the mention. I have nothing that I would enjoy, it's time to get out of here and end it quickly.

I stopped the treadmill and despite judging looks of others around me, I took my backpack and took off toward the door. No one tried to stop me, nobody cares here. They will quickly find a replacement for me. I knew that overseers would wait an hour for my return, yet I was still the supervisor and the hour is at least some kind of showing respect. Maybe my thoughts will pass in an hour, but even then, I'm not coming back. I blew a whistle to caught Michael's attention but it was impossible to notice it in all the noise. So I did not bother to say goodbye. He was more less talking to me just out the habit in past few weeks after all. I walked out the door onto the street. It was still morning, barely hour passed. I did not understand how I could have survived in that shit hole two months. But it does not matter. The weather was still good, but it is getting colder. I did not even know where to go, so I went straight. This whole neighbourhood sucked. But at least I have a flat here. Well. Was dilapidated and in the bedroom I had to sleep with three Indians. I did not any of my stuff there, I did not pay any rent. The owner was already dead, killed by Indians. I lived with them only because I was at the right time at the right place. Some time ago I saw as they enter the building. I did not know what was going on, but they might had some work for me, so I followed them. Everyone is trying to survive the day every way he can, Indians look well dressed, and so I thought that they have money. I went after them, I saw them kicking the door on the third floor and that old man, who lived there got strangled by one of them. Surely this had to be planned in advance, there is not a lot of old people. I remained standing there petrified between the door and with my mouth wide open I watched as elder’s eyes changed on the glass. When Indians have noticed me, one of them started saying something, I did not understand much, then the other one turned around on me and said, "You here, no police." I agreed. They were amateurs, the police does not comes here anymore. Moreover I did not see a problem why they shouldn't kill me too. Those guys were probably shitless even from the old man. We threw the body into the container on the street about two blocks away. For me it was truly happy night, I got a free apartment , although without running water and electricity , but at least it kept a constant temperature .
I did not risk much, if I will not find a place to stay, I'll be back. And yet here you can sleep almost anywhere. And the noise was already tiring me, so I went away from what I knew.