A Must Read for All High School Students

It's two weeks ago from today, and you ask me what my views are on Junior year. I go on a ceaseless tangent about how much I absolutely loathe it, going on and on about how stressful the year has been and that the only thing that I've got to look forward to is its end. I tell you about how I stay up until an ungodly hour night after night, sometimes crying because I just can't take it anymore. "I want it to be over," I say. Over. Over. Over. It rings in my head, oh how wonderful that would be. And so I ask you, "How wonderful would it be if I no longer had to wake up at 5:30 in the morning? How wonderful would it be to longer have to complete homework? How wonderful would it be to no longer have to worry?"



That was two weeks ago. Now, it is present day. You ask me the same question; I tell you the exact opposite. I tell you about how two days ago, I experienced one of the most eye opening moments of my life:



Usually, physics is a pretty dry class. We don't ever really do much except for take notes, and do labs and other worksheets. Today however, was our kite flying day, and it was probably the most enjoyable class we have had all year. None of our kites really flied, after all we are a group of 11th and 12th grade high school students who really don't have much experience in constructing projects that actually work. Of course, there were a few anomalies whose kites flew. Regardless of the kites not flying, it was the most picture-perfect class period I could ever think of: laughing and smiling with your good friends, as well as those that you have never even talked to before, and just making the best out of the experience. After the class period was over (as it was the last one of the day) I continued on out to my car to go home as I would any other day. The difference of today from any other day is that today, I left my MacBook in Mr. Laube's room. I turn around to go back and get it. On the way back, I pass Mr. Laube in the hallway, and for the first time all year, he says to me "See ya, Bri, have a good night!" and smiles at me. I grab my MacBook, and head back out the parking lot. As I walked, I realized things; things I don't usually realize. I walked past friends laughing, teachers scurrying through the halls, lockers closing, and all the more. Everything happened so slowly as if I were in a movie reflecting on all the things around me, and I just smiled. I didn't look at my surroundings; I saw them. I opened my eyes to the events around me, and noticed even the smallest of things. I noticed the happiness and chaos alike.



Freshman year, I felt like a nobody. I never would have thought that I would be where I am today. I never thought I would have been as involved as I am, and I never would have thought I would be part of the group that the school looks up to. Looking back, every decision no matter how big or small has lead up to this moment right here, right now. If I never would have taken physics, I never would have realized my full potential to persevere and I never would have grown to become such good friends with some of the people I have. If I wouldn't have applied for LINK Crew sophomore year, I never would have gotten to experience some of the most life-changing experiences of my life. If I wouldn't have applied for NHS, I never would have become this involved in the community and I never would have gotten to become the 2014-2015 NHS Historian. Honors Pre-Calc has been my kryptonite; it has absolutely destroyed my year in terms of grades and self confidence. But if I never would have taken it, I never would have come to the realization of my full potential when it comes to adversity. I'm not sure what it is about Pre-Calc, but I can tell you one thing: I will never get it. It's just not my thing, and there's a huge chance that it never will be. However if I never would have taken the class, I never would have truly learned that you are not going to succeed at everything you do, and I never would have learned to appreciate the few times that I do succeed. If I never would have joined Cross Country, I never would have learned to let my heart grow every chance it gets; I never would have learned what it truly means to head over heels in love with something. And if I never would have taken AP Lang, I never would have become the person that I am today. I never would have grown as close as I have with some of these people, learned some of the most important lessons in life, and I never would have gotten the chance to meet the greatest teacher that I have ever had.



All of these decisions over the past few years have shaped who I am. We always talk about the educational system and how it isn't right- school is so focused on grades and testing. In fact, the schooling system is shit. An educational system that makes its students feel like just another number? That's not education. I loathe that. Two weeks ago, that is all that I would think of school. Now, I realize that this year has taught me that grades aren't everything, but instead, growth is. High School is all about making mistakes learning from them. It's about trying new things and seeing who you are and who you want to be. High School is about fighting with your best friend over something stupid, then making up two days later. It's about failing at something for the first time so you can truly feel what it's like to be a failure, just so that afterwards you can pick yourself back up and try again.



This year, I am no longer a part of the schooling system. Instead, I am a person. I have grown more this year than I have my entire life. Part of the reason some people look back on some of their years and think that they were terrible is because they look at the wrong things.



In less than a month, we (the class of 2015) will be seniors. And in about 6 months from that time, we will know what college we are going to. College is the place that we live for the next 4+ years, depending on what we go into. I will be in college for a minimum of 8 years. I could spend 20 years in college, however, and all it would ever be to me is a house- a place to stay for a short time in my life. Brunswick High School on the other hand is not a house. Brunswick High School is a home.



I'm not sure what my life will be like 5 years from now. But what I do know is that without the experiences that I have had, both good and bad, my life would be no more than an existence on this planet. This year has been jam packed with moments that have made me feel on top of the world, as well as moments that have made me feel nothing but utter depression. I've had moments where I could get up and run a marathon, as well as where I felt I could give up completely. In the grand scheme of things, this year has taught me that no matter where you want to go in life, you've got to find yourself first. You have to have those moments like this where you completely open up to someone and go on a tangent about what everything means to you. You have to have those embarrassing moments that make you wish you didn't exist. You have to have those moments where you just want to give up and walk away, because without them, you wouldn't know how to appreciate a good moment when it comes your way. You have to learn to just let go of everything sometimes, because not everything always matter, and not everything will always go the way you had hoped. And most importantly, you have to learn to LIVE. Just truly live for that moment right here and right now, and just worry about all that other stuff later.



Life is full of tiny moments... Moments that you don't even realize exist. LIke when you go outside and see the sun shining, feeling each blazing ray hit the side of your cheek. Or when someone that you've never spoken a word to smiles at you in the hallway. Or when you get a good grade on a test or accomplish something that you've been working on for a long time. Or when you get excited about something so simple that means nothing to others, but means everything to you. Or the moment when you see someone that you haven't talked to for awhile and you know they are just as happy to see you as you are them. Or when you hold the door for someone and then watch them do the same for the person behind them. These moments... These are the moments that truly matter. School is important, and so is education. But it's not everything. What is important are the things that happen in school that make you happy you're there.



Two weeks ago if you would have asked me what I thought of high school, I would have told you that I want it to be over. I would have told you that I am ready to move on to the next chapter in my life. But that was two weeks ago. Ask me again now, and I will tell you that I will miss it. Ask me again now, and I will tell you that those years will always be remembered as the best years of my life.