Oranges

Oranges

Peel, throw, wait, throw, peel, throw, wait...
Lunch is when I sit quietly and watch everyone else eat.
I'm never hungry and the food is terrible anyways.

Peel, throw, wait while she chews, throw, wait...
My friend doesn't eat either.
Except oranges. She loves little cutie oranges.

Don't eat. Don't eat. Don'teatdon'teatdon'teat...
We have a routine:
I peel, throw the orange slices, and she catches them.
Over and over.

Peel, throw, catch, chew, swallow, peel, throw, catch, chew, swallow.
I don't ask for one. I can't have any.
I don't eat I don't eat Idon'teatIdon'teatIdon'teat

Don't need to... Don'teatdon'teatdon'teat
If I do I'm fat and worthless and ugly and... Don't eat.

No not for you. Peel fast, throw, wait, throw, wait, peel...
Not for you not for you notforyounotforyou
I ask for one. She shrugs her shoulders.

Notforyounotforyou... Don'teatdon'teat...
Don't you fucking dare. NOT FOR YOU.
I drop one in my mouth.
You. Fucking. Pig.
YOU TERRIBLY FAT UGLY WORTHLESS PIG. NO WONDER NO ONE LIKES YOU STOP DON'T SWALLOW. YOU DON'T NEED IT. YOU DON'T EAT. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO. STOP YOU FAT COW.

Not. For. Me.
I spit it out.
I drop it under the table so no one sees.

Don't eat. Peel, throw, wait...
I sit quietly and watch people eat.
Peel, throw, catch, chew, swallow, peel...
over and over.
I smile and talk and laugh but my mind continues to remind me with every glance up from the table.
You. Don't. Eat.