Never Look Back

The stupid Styrofoam cup stared back at me. It was empty, I knew that but somehow it had stayed in place for the length of my train ride. For no good reason it made me very angry. It was as if it was taunting me, like “look at me, I made a decision to stay here and stuck to it.” That thought made me even angrier at the cup.

“You realize that the cup is an inanimate object right?” His presence was felt before his voice was heard. He was Darren, mysterious big man on campus. More than once I found myself following his strut throughout the local community college campus, just like the rest of the 19 year old girls there. He had some important job that kept him busy and indoors during the day, so he was taking night classes in order to finish his Bachelor’s degree. “You haven’t lost your mind because of all of the time that you’ve been spending with Sam, have you?”

“N-no, of course not,” The heat from my body all seemed to settle in my cheeks. Without looking in a mirror I knew that they were redder than the flames of hell. One breath, two breaths, three. I was trying to calm myself, so that he didn’t think that I was just another dumb girl that would turn to a puddle just because his breath was on my neck. He exhaled a soft, warm breath on my neck and suddenly I was dizzy. “It’s just that I have lived here all of my life and have taken the trains everywhere but I haven’t been able to not be knocked over when the cart begins to move, yet that cup just stands there mocking me.”

“It’s not really mocking you though,” A thought occurred to me that unsettled me a bit. I had been alone on the train, there were no other passengers when I got lost in the thought about the cup. That led to me wondering how in the world he knew what I was thinking, it wasn’t as if I were trapped in the stupid Twilight books and he could read my mind or something. “If I startled you, I’m sorry. I noticed you from the other cart and thought that you looked lonely. That’s when I came over here. I found you talking to yourself or to the cup, I’m not sure, about it making fun of you.”

Something was off about what he was saying, I would remember if I had been talking out loud. Especially if I had verbalized the thoughts about the cup out loud, I would have heard my own voice. I was sure about this. “Darren I didn’t say anything out loud.”

“Sure you did. You just don’t remember.”

“Well, well, well. I didn’t expect to see you two together. Especially since Nora is supposed to be on her way to meet me for a tutoring session,” Sam smiled at me, then his eyes met Darren’s. The men glared at one another for a long second, the air sizzled with tension. My knees wouldn’t even bend for me to sit down. Yet there my head was swimming with thoughts, everyone knew that Sam and Darren were best friends but they had never been seen in the same place at the same time. “I certainly hope that you aren’t distracting her or telling her about things that she shouldn’t know about.”

“Dude, calm yourself. I was just keeping the lovely lady company until she had to come see you,” It struck me as odd that the two of them were friends, let alone best of friends. Darren was dark, dangerous, and sexy. While Sam was smart, sweet, and sensitive. Both were perfect boyfriend material but with very different characteristics. I found myself attracted to both of them, something I was loathe to admit to anyone else. “Of course I should chaperone the study sessions that you two have to make sure everything is above board.”

“You’re the one that we all need to worry about here. Nora and I have midterms to think about, but what have you got? Nothing, not even…” His voice trailed off. It must have been my imagination but I would have sworn that Darren’s eyes had turned red. The train pulled to a stop, the cup still didn’t move. “This is where we get off.”

Before Sam and I exited the train, I decided to kick the cup over. It fell over as easily as it should have when the train was in motion. Something fell out of it, it was a long gold chain. Curiosity got the best of me, so I bent down and picked it up. The chain was attached to a pocket watch that was the same color as the chain. My hand brushed over an engraving, “Never Look Back.”

Instinctively I looked back, it was almost as if I was rebelling against the pocket watch. Sam and Darren were glaring at each other, the air was suddenly cold. I hugged myself as if that was going to warm things up. When they noticed me looking at them, they tried to ease the tension with halfhearted smiles. Darren quipped, “Nice pocket watch. Looks like you hit the jack pot with stubborn Styrofoam cups.”

“Let’s go make sure that you ace that Economics midterm,” I exited the train, and again ignoring the advice on the artifact that I found, looked back. Darren and Sam seemed to be locked in a staring contest, both of them smiling so broadly that they were showing their teeth. “I’ll call you later bro.”

“Later.” Darren responded, looking nonplussed.

After the train left, I looked over at Sam. He had returned to his calm self, it was eery. “I know what you guys were fighting about, you both like the same girl. But no girl is worth losing a friendship over.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Sam answered, dragging me to the library.