The boss’s Special Pie

"Why didn't you try the pie?"

“Well Mr. Smith, you seem to be making some progress,” said Dr. Hughes to his fidgety, distracted patient Daren. “With a person of your demeanor, using a public restroom must have taken some will power.”

Daren Smith was partially receptive to his Doctor’s comment as he twiddled his fingers nervously eyeing everything around him, including his own councilor on the other side of the desk.

“Uh...indeed.  Would you mind opening a window? I feel congested and cooped up a little.” Daren flashed a sheepish smile with a slightly trembling voice.

“Very well.” The doctor got out of his seat and was about to open it when Daren exploded out with a loud change of mind. “No wait! Don’t, for all I know a baseball could come flying through and hit me in the face or a suicidal bird may lodge his beak in my skull.”

The doctor sat down with a sigh and leaned in towards his patient and spoke with a monotonous, stern tone. “You see these are things called irrational fears. Do you know the odds of something happening like you just mentioned?”

Daren widened his eyes in bewilderment. He then snapped his head to the left and to the right before giving a staunch answer. “Is this a trick question? Are you trying to probe my mind?”

“These are just cognitive, therapeutic inquires meant to see past your fears.” The Dr. Hughes looked at his clock behind Daren.  “Our session over. I’ll see you in two weeks. Have a good day Mr. Smith.”

Daren simply sat there with glazed eyes for a few seconds and then spoke up with a jolt. “What! Did you say something?”

The doctor ran his palm down his face trying to keep his professorial poise. “The session is over.”

“Well why didn’t you let me know?” asked Daren.  “Well then, I’ll see you in two weeks.” With those last words he got up as the Dr. Hughes went to shake his hand but his unflappable patient put his hands up and contested the gesture. “ Ehh! Maybe next time.” 

When Daren had left the clinic he put on an oven mitten before grabbing his car door handle.  “I hate this bulky mitten thing but who knows what cancerous chemicals they put in latex gloves.”

He got in his car with the seats, steering wheel and dash board lined with plastic. He drove home quickly to his apartment and turned the knob of his door with the mitten.  He walked inside his living room so covered in plastic it looked like a children’s bouncing house.    He fell on his couch loathing the next day.

“I wish tomorrow was just another work day. I hate parties. Who wants to celebrate the boss’s birthday anyway?”





  Without a further word he set his alarm next to his couch and fell asleep.  That night he had a bad dream.  He was at the office party with everyone talking, having fun and enjoying the table foods.  Daren however was in a corner watching everything.  Then the boss himself, Mr. Hinge came and walked through the office door carrying the biggest cherry pie he had ever seen. It looked like a red tire.

“Hello everyone, I’m happy you’re all here. Today I have brought a special pie made by my sister, Beatrice.  Feel free to dig in.” Some of the foods had to be moved for the pie to fit on the table in the middle of the room.  As employees were cutting out pieces of pie, Daren watched as they gorged themselves on the pastry.  As they ate Mr. Hinge smiled deviously and then looked straight at Daren with that taunting grin. Daren was approached by him.

“What’s the matter Mr. Smith? Don’t you want some pie?”

His tone was diabolical and murky and it scared Daren.  “I’m trying to watch my weight.”

“Suite yourself.” Mr. Hinge walked away with a sly sway.

Suddenly everyone began to convulse and fall to the ground. Within minutes, all were dead.”

Then he awoke. With the dream fresh in his memory he, dressed himself and drove to his office.

When he arrived everyone was conversing and eating party food.  It seemed like only thirty minutes had passed when the boss came out. To Daren’s horror he had large pie with him. It was not gigantic nor was it a cherry pie yet it was still a valid omen. “I made this key lime pie. It is a special family recipe. First come first serve. 

Daren choked up and felt nauseous.  His heart began to beat harder and he looked at everyone with terror.  He waited anxiously for some to drop dead on the spot.  Soon the pie was gone and the party was over.  No one had died.  As he as exiting a female coworker name Lucy stepped up to Daren.

“Why didn’t you try the pie?”

“Please don’t ask me that.” He walked off saying nothing more.