Dreaming of Dior while living in decay

Dreaming of Dior while living in decay - first draft

Here I am, sat at my vintage '76 typewriter shrouded in darkness while the embers of the fire die out, typing my diary. It's a rather new habit brought on by excessive human television shows. But who wouldn't love to hear about a real life, blood sucking, evil vampire.

I'm just teasing. Vampires are closer to kittens then they are scary, especially the recent additions to the species. Sparkly, model-like vampires? Come on, yes they are supposed to be good looking but in the sense that you are attracted to them because they are strangely handsome. Not because they look like they work for Abercrombie and Fitch! People nowadays are more attracted to the possibility of a discount then the 'allure', as they so modestly names it. Bunch of cocky princesses if you ask me.

But no one cares about our opinions. You may be wondering why I was speaking about vampires as thought they exist, it's because they do. Whoops their only secret has been blown. Oh well, what are they going to do, kill me? Ha well they're a bit late for that considering I'm already dead.

Well, I am in the sense that my heart doesn't beat very often, or at all... I don't class myself as a zombie, although your average human would call me that as they screamed and ran ways in pure terror. I wasn't bitten, infected with a virus or any other way most people know about. I was born, that's right -born. Just like everyone body else, and when i say born, in not being poetic where being 'born' is a term for being 'changed'.