Self pity

I am lying in my self pity,

unable to see that my own soul is begging me

to let go of the unforgiving past

that wont allow me to step forward in todays society.

the tears I cry,

when no one is by my side drowned me,

I swim and swim

trying to get out of this trap that has me trapped inside

unable to break free,

unable to love,

unable to forgive the abusers of my past.

my heart longs and desires

a soul mate to show me how it is that

people walk around me...

i need a person that will love me for me and not

for what i have or look like.

my heart is sitting in a black hole unable to see the road up ahead

so there i lay fading into the dark abyss

of my yesterdays...

Jan 20 2011