Endless thinking

Nikisha Hope
It was year 2019. I looked outside my window to pile up dirty snow. This can't be how I am living my life. Thirty-eight years old and I feel so lifeless. Everyone I know or at least thought I knew, are all out enjoying their free lives. I'm stuck in my mother's attic looking at their happiness all because of a stray bullet. A stray bullet hit me in my spine one night while I was walking into my house from a party almost 1 year ago. People used to come by and check on me and see how I was doing, but that only lasted for about two months. My mother only comes upstairs to see me when I need food, three times a day, or if I buzz the blue button right next to my bed for bathroom breaks, which is like every twenty-five minutes. Lately she's been gone and some strange lady has been coming up here doing her job. I tried to speak but no words ever seem to come out. Well I just looked at the time and its 8:57 and its dark outside so I'm assuming that's pm. I usually drift asleep around this time. I feel my eyes slowly closing. Suddenly I heard a loud "BOOM!". I opened my eyes to a strange looking mirror in front of me. I saw my reflection. For the first time in a very long time, I can actually look at myself without feeling disgusted. It was weird though, I wasn't in any of my braces from the injury. I can actually feel my limbs. I felt an itch in my back and my first reaction was to itch it. That hasn't happened since my injury. I'm not supposed to be able to move any inch of my body on my own. I remember clearly because that's what I heard my doctor tell my mother in the hospital. It was as if I went back in time, or as though getting shot was all just a dream. I am so confused right now. My palms are becoming sweaty and my heart is starting to beat faster and faster. I jumped out of my bed. I figured it was indeed all just a dream so I ran down the stairs towards the sound of my mother. I hugged the life out of her and began to cry.
"Ma, what happened?" I asked.
"Child, what are you talking about? Are you okay?" she replied back to me while feeling my forehead as if I had a temperature.
As I sat down to watch TV, I saw a baby inside of a crib sleeping. I became confused yet again. I guess my mother is just babysitting but I've never seen this one before. It looked just like me though. It had my brownish greenish eyes, my button nose, and my curly textured hair. Maybe mother's sister been by the house and that's her baby. Family members do resemble each other sometimes, so yes maybe that is the case here. Mother then called my name, but she was looking at the baby as if she was talking to it.
"Yes ma?" I answered.
"Not you boy! Is your name Dave? No I don't think so silly." She replied laughing.
"Yes mother, I am Dave" I said with a very perplexed look on my face.
Maybe mother is the one who is injured. Maybe instead of me being hit with that bullet, it was really her, and it struck her in the head. I looked around her entire head one night while she fell asleep on my lap watching TV. There was absolutely nothing there as a sign of injury. I felt my back and there was nothing there either. The next day, baby "DAVE" was getting a bath, I saw the strangest thing. He had a scar in the middle of his back. I felt my eyes shut suddenly. When I woke up, mother had my head rested upon her lap with a moist wash rag on my forehead. As I looked towards my left on the ground, there it was again, that mirror stood staring at me. I have no idea what's going on, but something's not right.
How did the mirror get down here when it was smashed up on the floor in my room upstairs? Something's got to give. As the night rolled by, I found myself outside in the pouring rain digging a hole in the mud and the mirror ended up right inside of it. I'm starting to think I'm loosing my mind because last time I remembered; I was lying on the couch with mother. I see the kitchen light from inside of the house turn on. From behind the curtains, I saw a beastly figure. I quickly stopped what I was doing and ran into the house to make sure mother that strange baby was alright.

As I swung open the door, there he stood! The baby was standing up, seven feet tall, and naked. I swung at him to ensure mothers safety. A bunch of questions swarmed through my mind. What is this creature doing here and what does it want? Why did it grow so fast? I don't understand what is going on.
"What are you?" I asked.
"I am you!" it strangely replied.
"That's impossible! Im right here!" I stated.
Mother suddenly appeared out of the blue. She begins to look at me as though I am crazy. I start to explain to her that the creature is a grown crazy person and she needs to take It to a hospital to seek help. She begins to cry.
"What is going on with you David?" she cries. Ever since your dad left, you've been acting very strange and I have no clue what to do with you.
"Mom, what in the world are you talking about? Dad died a few months ago, I already know he cant come back. I replied, comforting her.
"No! he left us here to marry another woman and create a brand new family . I know it's hard but you have to let it go!" she then states.
All I can do is hug mother. She's in so much pain that she doesn't know what's real and what's not. She's in denial about father. He died some months ago on his way home from work one night. A stray bullet hit him while a drive by was going on. I think she is trying to fill that void in her heart. She probably thinks that since he died without saying goodbye, that he left us to go live with another family. She cries on my shoulders while I comforted her to sleep. I left her on the long couch to rest and placed a warm blanket over her.
The next day, I saw a new family moving in next door. They have our mirror. How? , I have no clue, but it's not buried in the yard anymore. They placed it right across from our living room. I can see my reflection in it anytime I look across the room to the mirror. It's kind of creepy if I may say. It's like they're watching me. Every move I make, and every single step I take.
One night as I sat in the chair across from the mirror looking into their house, there it was again! That creepy baby! It was trapped in the mirror. How? , I have no clue! At least it wasn't going to torture mother and I any longer, it has a new family to mind. It kept staring at me from the mirror. It started to become a routine night after night. Wherever I went, there was the mirror and that stupid baby. One day I couldn't take it anymore. I barged into the neighbor's home and smashed the mirror into pieces yet again. They called the police on me like if I was doing something wrong.
"It probably was all a part of their plan officer" I told the kind detective.
He is crazy though. He said that I smashed a giant hole in my neighbor's wall. I know they must have hidden the mirror as soon as the cops came.
"Where's your parents?" the detective asked. As he asked that question, the officer next to him made a face while taping him.
I began to hear them whisper and looking at me. Why does everyone think I'm the bad guy? I don't do anything wrong to anybody. I just needed that mirror to be destroyed because it was driving me insane with that stupid baby. Another lady came into the white painted room. She had two little cups in her hand. Of course, she brought the two other people in the room something but not me. She's acting as if I am invisible! Surprisingly, she didn't stop at them. She came directly towards me. The two other detectives started walking out the door as the lady continued walking towards me. As I attempted to reach my hand out to take the cup of water, I realized my entire body was tied down together. I screamed for her to let me out of this strange looking jacket! She took out a long needle and told me if I behave this time, she won't have to use it. I don't know what's going on here but I don't belong in this mad house! I am normal!
"Why am I in here?!" As I kept screaming and repeating those words, she shakes her head and smiles.
"I know, I know. It's that time of the year again Dave" she tells me.
She began to explain to me the reason why I am here. She tells me this strange, made up story that I am schizophrenic. She said ever since I was thirteen, I've been in this mad house and that its been twenty-five years and every year on may 12th she would have to explain this story to me. She said when I was younger, I Killed my entire family because my little brother used to get all of the attention. I drove by my father's house one night when he lived with a new family and shot him in the back causing him to be permanently paralyzed and when he didn't die, I broke off a piece of glass and sliced his throat while cutting up the rest of his new family. Then the lady said that I stabbed my little one year old brother in the back and he died on the spot. She didn't tell me what happened to mother though. All she said about her was that she was never found.