Dear Me 2014

Dear Me,

I’ve been meaning to write for a while now. But with one thing and another, I’ve only just found the time and space to get all our thoughts together.
I think it is safe to say that 2014 hasn’t quite started in the best possible way. However, despite this, the world hasn’t ended and it is really important for you to step back, see how amazing life is and realise how strong you are. Trust me, I know how easy it is to forget!

Let’s see. So 2013 may not have been the most incredible year but it was a good year. Long gone are the times where you rate how good a year was by counting how many medals you’ve won. No, now we must rate it by determining how much fun you had, how much you developed and whether you feel like you moved forward. Looking at the evidence, I’d say 2013 made you, you.

You started pretty well. One of the first things you did in 2013 was finish your Masters Degree. You were a little flippant about it but we all knew how much it meant. Face it, at the height of your depression in 2011/2012 you believed you’d never go back and finish it. Pah, you did! Oh and before I forget, who cares if you missed the top grade by a few points. When you were 17, all you had behind you were a load of Ds and Es! To go from that to having two very good degrees is beyond impressive.

You and Chris worked even harder to build a bond that will not break. You’ve had your ups and downs; both of you have had to step up to support the other through really tough times. But nothing ever gives. Keep communicating, keep laughing, keep loving and you’ll stay strong for good. I’m proud of you for holding on to this one and not running away when it gets a bit tough. It’ll be worth it, I promise.
You both had fun too. You managed to get away to New York, France and Cuba. Now you’re always looking for the next possible holiday. Perhaps you should also look to make an effort to do more nice things together, closer to home.

You’ve done so well with work and are now so busy, I can’t keep up! It isn’t the easiest job in the world, having to organise everything with teachers; some of which can’t respond to your emails or, worse, don’t read all the information you give them. Its also not always easy motivating people when you are lacking motivation yourself, sometimes. But you’ve really come into your own and do a great job. It is so satisfying when students say a heartfelt “thank you” at the end of the day. Be proud.
Sometimes, I know, you just want to run away. Because of your speech impairment, there is rarely a day that goes by when someone doesn’t laugh when you start speaking in your workshops or assemblies. Normally, if someone knows they’re going to get laughed at, they stop doing that specific thing. Not you, though. You plough on, because you enjoying seeing the moment of realisation. That moment where the student(s) stops laughing and realises you’re saying something worth listening to. It’s a beautiful sight to behold.

One of the best things you did in 2013 was go back to writing.com. You actually joined in July 2011, but never really settled. I think you logged in a few times in 2012 but, again, it wasn’t home. Then in 2013, something clicked! You started to get involved in the community and made friends! You started to write more, you started to enter contests and take part in activities. You even found the confidence to start a few of your own activities. You’ve done pretty well, in a relatively short space of time too! Look what you’ve achieved:

Became a Preferred Author
Became a Captain of "WDC Addicts Anonymous" 
Became a "Invalid Item"  Leader
Completed "I Write in June-July-August "  twice (different months, of course)
Won first place in "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 
Won third place in "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED" 
Started "The Book Club"  which appears to be working well
Started "Invalid Item" 
Have been awarded 98 Merit Badges
Have been awarded 11 Awardicons
And so so much more!

Your only New Years resolution was to read 144 books in 2013. You managed this, with ease, despite how busy you are. That’s pretty awesome! Well done for taking on the challenge again in 2014. It’s impressive that you’ve upped it to 150. Good luck!

So, as I said, I realise you haven’t had the best start to 2014. But there is such a lot to look forward to and, if you allow it, it could be the best year of your life. No, there won’t be any medals involved! Don’t sulk.

I mean, in just over six months, you’ll be a married woman. You’ve found someone who loves you enough to pledge their life to you. That is amazingly exciting and the twelth of July 2014 promises to be an incredible day. More to the point, you, hater of all dresses, already have your beautiful dress and know you’ll be going to the church in a VW camper van! You’re ready.

You’re within touching distance of buying your very first home. You’re very lucky that you and Chris have saved hard. You’re even luckier given that your mum and Chris’ parents have been incredibly generous – more so than you ever imagined. However, it is really important that you do not see this generosity as pressure. Rather, see it as trust; trust in you, Chris and your relationship.

Your writing has fallen by the wayside in recent months. Don’t let it fall further! You’re a good writer and you enjoy it, that should be enough motivation. You had a great idea for a novel in the autumn - don’t waste it, work on it. I am so glad you decided to sign up to "Give It 100!" , with the aim of writing every day for 100 days. I truly hope you manage to stick to it, although I know it’ll be a tall order. Life is nothing without challenge.

Your working diary is absolutely stacked. Make sure you enjoy every day and show your passion everyday. But look after yourself; don’t be a hero. You don’t have to do everything, all the time!

You’ve always been a keen learner, despite what school results might say. Use this to your advantage. At Christmas you signed up to an online writing course – do it. It might not be the best course in the world, but you will learn something. If nothing else, it’ll give you things to write about! As for those five diplomas you started in 2012, finish them this year! You paid to do them so don’t waste your money.

Anyway, I didn’t write to you to scare, pressure or overwhelm you. I just wanted to show you how far you’ve come in just a year. Also, I wanted you to know how great you are and how awesome this year is going to be.

Be kind to yourself. Be proud of yourself. If you can’t do something now, don’t stress and beat yourself up, just do it later. Keep smiling. Trust yourself. Most importantly, have fun!

Ever yours,

Me x

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