Love gone

When I am all alone in bed
I think of you and her and then
I am dead.

You are happy in new lover's arms,
thinking only of you and her
intertwined, thigh to thigh,
palm to palm.

All I have for comfort now
is a pillow and my duvet spread,
which once caused joy and comfort,
bring only now dread
as I have no one to share them with.

I am reminded of who is not there
and although I try to not despair
I cannot help but sob
as you're with her not giving a sod;
not giving a second
thought to me and you.

You and me were meant to be
keeps going round and round
as I lay my head down
I cannot rest.

I know I did my best
and tried to give myself completely-
Willing myself to stop this
tiresome train of thought
I hate myself slightly
for letting me be so hurt.

If my child self could see me now
she'd laugh and jeer
as I never gave into peer
pressure back then
and sought only my own comfort
and joy, which came from me like
a self-sufficient tree.

I close my eyes to sleep
on these child-like musings
and it all becomes confusing,
as thoughts of Shakespeare's infamous:
'better to have loved and lost
then not to love at all'
ring through.

I cannot sleep
and as if on repeat
every moment of our two year
tenure plays on until it comes to
that tragic scene
where you tell me that it's over
now, for no good reason, other than
for you the relationship's dead.

And Shakespeare's voice interrupts:
'better to have loved and lost...'

Cobblers! I am forever altered
and marred. Never shall I think back
on our two years together
with pleasure.

Two years of my life are gone.
And what am I left with?
Thoughts of you and her together
and I alone.